Weekend Eye Candy - What Was He Thinking Edition

This won't come as much of a surprise to any woman who stumbles across this blog, but men can be downright stupid at times. The only real surprise, of course, is that one of us is willing to admit it ...

Football may be king in America, but it's futbol that rules the world. It's a sport that can bridge divides that no political deal can cross, and is universal no matter tha language that the players happen to speak. If you're a futbol star, you can have it all.

Right now, Cristiano Ronaldo is very near the top of that heap. Playing for Manchester United and his national team in Portugal, he is known worldwide. That tends to mean you can have pretty much any girl you want, as well.

After Portugal's quarterfinal defeat in the recent UEFA Euro 2008 tourney, the paparazzi poured out a solid stream of CR and his girlfriend, Nereida Gallardo, frolicking on a series of beaches. OK, to be honest, it was mostly just shots of Gallardo - much like this one here. Popular soccer star, hot chick - it all made sense.

Until now, when word comes out that he's dumped Gallardo because "he's tired of her". WTF? Tired of this? OK, I know he can have any one he wants, and the world is one big multicultural buffet, but damn - that's a pretty harsh statement to make about anyone. Even George Clooney did a better job of cleaning up after dating his Vegas waitress. We'll see how the damage control goes on this one, but for now, enjoy the thought that somewhere, Nereida Gallardo is looking for a rebound boy ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:08 AM PST [link] [1 Comment]

It Makes Me Smile ...

We all squeal about the price of oil, but there's one guy out there who's not complaining. He's happily making money off our misery - the speculator. Buying and selling futures contracts, he's getting rich as you and I go broke at the pump. Bastard. I'm not a big fan of government interference, but I'm all for kicking those guys to the curb.

Oil dropped for the third straight day today, making for a $15-a-barrel loss thusfar this week. You just know that there were a handful of the skanky bastards who jumped in the market on Monday, just to have their financial asses handed to them. And all I can do is smile.

Of course, this economy being what it is, the damned stuff will probably soar $20 tomorrow and he'll make all his money back and then some ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:34 PM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

Asshat Update

We're in Week Three of the Grand Cellphone Experiment here in California, where drivers are forbidden from using the cellphones to place and receive calls and instead must use a hands-free device - the now-famous Asshat©. For those of you who are fans of a law-abiding lifestyle, I have good news for you - the statistics say that people are obeying the law. While all of the police agencies claim that they are inforcing the new rules, relatively few tickets have been written.

As I drive around, asshat firmly in my ear, I can see that there are still those who just gotta use their phones. I guess that's to be expected, since not everyone ran out and got their asshat in time. Of course, some of them are just Asshats who are going to be assholes about the whole thing. This being California, I guess that's to be expected as well ...

Personally, the worst part of all of this has been that my biggest fear is coming true. Emboldened to wear their asshats in their cars, more and more Asshats continue to wear their asshats after they leave their vehicles. And just as I predicted, they're using the damned things to continue their conversations as they move around us, oblivious - or just uncaring - of our pain at having to unwillingly share their call. I can see now that the next thing we need to invent is the Asshat Scrambler© that will simultaneously scramble the circuitry of the asshat while scrambling the brain of the Asshat.

I wish I had a camera with me earlier this week, as I met the Asshat's Asshat. This guy is walking down the street with a cellphone pressed to his ear as if stapled there. What was in the other one? You guessed it - an asshat. Go figure.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:27 PM PST [link] [1 Comment]

Damned Uggly

We've all heard the speech about what an honor it is to be selected for the All-Star Game, and how it's not important to play but just to be there. But we all know that no one wants to be that guy who rides the pine for the entire game and never even steps on the field.

Two years ago, that was Dan Uggla. He was a rookie second baseman, a Rule 5 draft pick of the Marlins, and he was just thrilled to be there. Miguel Cabrera was the Big Fish at the time, and no one even noticed Uggla. That would apparently include the manager, since he never got in the game. But that was one of the first games run under the new concept of having the winning league get home field advantage in the World Series, and managers were a little more stingy with their rosters.

Now its 2008, and Uggla was once again at the ASG. This time, though, he was no throw-in - he's one of the best second basemen in the league. You just knew that he'd get a chance to play, and you just knew he'd make the most of it.

Right. Entering the game in the sixth inning, he got a lot of playing time as the game went extra innings. Wish I could say he made the most of it. At the plate, he went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts. Twice he had a chance to plate the winning run, but in one case he hit into a double-play, and in the other struck out on 3 pitches.

If you're feeling bad for the Uggster, don't worry - it only gets worse. The normally-sure handed second bagger set an All Star Game record with 4 errors. Now, this is a guy who only had 8 for the entire first half of the season. It was pretty ugly.

To his credit, he's being a stand-up guy and making no excuses.

''I'm fine. The only thing that [ticks] me off is we didn't win the game,'' Uggla said. ``I was never down. You shake it off.

``There was no reason it happened. I put my glove down and didn't make the play. It seems like when it rains it pours, and it was that way for me [Tuesday night].

''You don't try to justify it,'' he said. ``My reputation is what it is. One game isn't going to change it. I know what kind of player I am.''

I'm glad he's OK with it. Me, on the other hand - I was looking for a bag to put over my head ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:27 PM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

On The Road Again

Once again, I find myself travelling during marlin season. And while this time I'm actually closer to the fish, I'm no closer to catching the fish ...

I'm currently in Carlsbad, CA, just down the coast from Oceanside. Looking quickly at a chart, I see I'm only about 25 miles from the 209 or 181 (where they're whacking the yellowfin tuna as we speak) as the crow flies. Well, maybe that's as the tern flies - crows hate water. Anyway, I'm close enough to smell the fish, but still on the beach.

That was true literally yesterday, as I drove down early so I could get a chance to exercise on the beach. I run/walk/jog/crawl every other day, and since I'll be at a team dinner tonight, I wanted to get it out of the way yesterday. Beautiful beaches down here - reminds me a lot of northern Baja, in that there's not a lot of development along the water's edge nor established infrastructure - you just look for the well-worn path down the bluff to the water.

I'll be down here until tomorrow evening, so I'll see if I can't find some other interesting things to comment on down here - other than looking wistfully at the horizon ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:24 AM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

Oh, Brett ... No, no, no ...

Brett Favre may be the greatest quarterback in NFL history. He certainly is the most popular Packer ever, holding place in the fans' heart jus below that of the immortal Vince Lombardi. But now, because he justcan't say no, he's putting all that at risk.

Great athletes live for the game. Very few have room in their lives for anything else, which is why you seldom see them going into coaching or other management positions after they retire - they've given it all on the field. The problem is, they just don't know when to say goodbye. We've seen it with so many greats - and now we've seeing it with Favre.

For the last few years, the Packers went through anguish every off season waiting for Favre's decision - play or not play. Two years ago, it was particularly agonizing, as he waited until the last minute to decide to return for another season. As a result, the team urged him last season to make his decision early. When the Packers lost in the NFC Championship last winter, Favre made his decision early - he was retiring.

Oh, that it should be that easy. Apparently, while the Packers were moving full speed towards life with Aaron Rodgers as quarterback, Favre was contemplating his future without football - and didn't like what he saw. He decided he wanted back - but would the Packers want him?

What started out as a private matter exploded into the media this week, as Favre requested his formal release from his contract with the Packers, and they in turn declined, claiming that Favre was welcome to compete for his old job. Talk about your no-win situation: the greatest QB in franchise history wants to come back, but you've promised the job to the other guy.

Let's be clear - the Packers have few options. They can't give him a unconditional release, risking him signing with a divisional rival. And they can't put him on the bench when he drove them to the brink of the Super Bowl last year. So they offer him a chance to compete - hoping he won't take it.

Favre, in the mean time, is feeling feeling a little less than loved. But rather than work with the Packers to find a solution, what does he go? He does an interview with Fox News' Greta Van Sustern. Not ESPN, not any other sports channel - Greta freaking Van Sustern, the legal correspondent. Sure, she's a Packers fan, but you don't think this was like tossing a gallon of gas on the fire?

Any chance of a friendly solution is out the window - and it's your fault, Brett. You probably would have gotten one retirement mulligan for your past performance, but not when you back the club into a corner. They'll never let you put on someone else's uni, and you won't just stay retired. So the fan uproar will increase until the team is forced to bring you back to compete for your old job. You won't be on the same page - physically or philosophically - with the rest of the team, so this will be a throwaway season for the Pack. They'll have to wait one more year to start the Aaron Rodgers era - and that's assuming you don't pull this stunt again.

We love you, Brett, but dude ... get a life!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:40 PM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

Headlines Galore!

There are a lot of interesting stories in the news this morning that demand at least a small comment ...

- Bush to lift executive ban on offshore oil drilling

Sorry, George - wrong answer! Why is it every time there's a spike in the cost of oil, some think we can simply drill our way out of it? Are you going to tell me that our coastlines are less valuable today than they were a year ago? Or were they always for sale, just waiting for the right price? Even if they started today, the first oil is 10 years away - making this little more than a political ploy. I agree with the idea of energy independance, but force the oil companies to match every dollar spent on new drilling efforts with money spent on alternative energy sources. Even better - tax the hell out of the windfall profits they're reaping, but instead of sending it to the Feds, force them to spend it on implementing serious programs to develop solar and wind energy generation.

- InBev to buy Anheuser-Busch for $52B

Joe Six-Pack is gonna wake up this morning to a whole new kind of headache - "This Beck's for you, Bud". Frankly, I couldn't care less about who owns A-B from a drinking perspective, as I won't go near any of their product. But this ought to be sounding alarm bells in the business sector - when the value of the dollar goes down, there are suddenly a lot of attractive bargains out there for foreign investors. This won't be the last one, either ...

- Schumer: Don't blame me for IndyMac failure

OK, Chuck, I don't blame you for the failure. But I damned well blame you for the run and the panic and the unnecessary concern by all those IndyMac depositors. Clearly, IMB got itself in trouble, and I'll even accept that the FDIC was right to step in. But if you were really concerned - as a New York senator over a Cali bank - did you really need to voice that concern by press conference? Is there something about being a politician that makes you unable to pick up a frigging telephone and ask someone at the Office of Thrift Supervision what the hell was going on? As a member of the Senate Banking Committee, there's no way you didn't understand the negative impact voicing your concerns publicly would have on IMB - and it's depositors. The idea that you would put making political hay ahead of the financial health of citizens - even those on the opposite side of the country from your constituency - is pathetic.

- Miss Venezuela crowned Miss Universe; Miss USA trips -- again

Good lord - could we please find someone who can walk in high heels?

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:50 AM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

Confident Eye Candy

With this week's Eye Candy comes a lesson - and no, it's not that model Miranda Kerr is smoking hot. We pretty much already knew that.

Let's face it - the world is full of women that look fantastic in a bikini. Not my world, unfortunately, but the greater world at large ... or so I'm told. But that's not the point. My point is that there are lots of girls upon whom you can slap a bikini and it will fit just fine. But that doesn't mean they can do it justice. They fidget, they cower, they hide - they're embarassed for one reason or another. And that's understandable - it's a pretty intimidating moment.

But not for our Miranda. She wears it like the pro's pro she is, oblivious to the hundreds of photogs staring at her essentially naked body. Oh, and she does it all while strutting in high heels as well - wearing little more than a smile.

Jack Palance put it best many years ago - "Confidence is very sexy - don't you think?"

Remember, you can click on the picture and see for yourself ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:02 AM PST [link] [1 Comment]

Why Didn't We Think Of That?

Most of us are sports enthusiasts, and particularly enjoy water sports. As such, most of us know that a prudent soul uses the appropriate flotation device while water skiiing, kayaking, or whatever. They come in lovely fashion colors, or the ever-popular Coast Guard orange, and work just fine.

But let's say for just a moment that you were not only a kayaker, but also a nudist - now what do you do? Bundling up in a bulky PFD kinda defeats thw whole "nude in public" thing, and leads to embarassing tan lines - totally unacceptable for any serious nudist. No problem - a company in South Korea has you covered.

The "Zak Nudevest" is made of clear PVC, and is said to serve as a legitimate PFD while still allowing the sun to shine through, as it were. You can get them online for around $15, and while it looks pretty fragile (read: won't last long), anything that lets her set the girls free is OK in my book!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:14 PM PST [link] [Add A Comment]