One More Reason To License Parents

I'm a single guy without kids, so I have to be careful with what I say next, as I have no first-hand experience in parenting. But it's pretty clear to me that in a society where we license drivers, we license business owners - hell, I even need a license to fish - we need to license parents. I won't even get into the pathetic reasons some people use to justify having children, or the horrific abuse brought upon society by those who insist it is their right to have 6, 7, or God knows how many kids.

No, today we're just going to talk about those whose parenting skills are so demonstrably bad that they should never have been allowed to procreate (and I'm not even going to mention Britney Spears ... oops, just did!). We've seen all kinds of bad behavior, from overly-agressive sports parents to the ones dressing their kids like whores for "beauty contests" - the examples are everywhere. But I have one that might even top those.

I fly for business fairly often, so I understand the stressful routine that the airport terminal has become. Because of that, I prepare accordingly - I pack per the TSA requirements, I make sure I get to the airport in plenty of time for my flight, I wear clean socks, and I don't do anything that would attract any unwanted attention from the screeners. As a result, my passage through the airport is relatively painless. But not everyone is so prepared - sometimes with disasterous results.

A family was immigrating from the Philippines to Canada, and were rushing from one flight to another in Vancouver. They had issues getting through the airport, having to repack their luggage, and were lucky to make their connecting flight to Winnipeg. Too bad not everyone made it to the plane, as they left their 23-month child behind in the terminal.

"We were called by [security] who told us one of the security people had a toddler in tow," said Angela Mah, an Air Canada representative. "He doesn't speak English, so we found a Tagalog-speaking agent who has been looking after him."

There was no boarding pass for the youngster because he did not have a separately assigned seat, so there was no indication in the airline's computer system that someone had missed a flight, nor had there been any panicked calls from anyone on a flight missing a child, Mah said.

That's because the family was scattered in different parts of the plane to Winnipeg and still didn't know the child had been left.

Air Canada staff began checking flights that had left, and "we eventually determined who his parents might be ... and the flight crew talked to them," Mah said. "They didn't realize until then that the baby had been left behind.

To the airlines' credit, they paid to fly the father back to Vancouver and both to Winnipeg afterward. Assuming Canada has a better immigration system than we do - perhaps one based on worth to the the country, for example - I'd have been tempted to put them all on a plane back to Manila ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:21 AM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

It's True

I'm on something of a fitness kick right now, trying to whip an old body into shape to impress young girls. As part of the no doubt pointless effort, I walk twice a week along the beach - once in Hermosa, and once in Redondo.

Tonight, it was time to walk the Esplanade in Redondo. Like most folks, I have my iPod going, arms pumping for extra effort, striding forth towards fitness. Ahead of me, I see a guy who clearly has a different agenda. Head down, feet shuffling, he's in the classic posture - text messaging. As I close on him from behind, I'm reminded of an article I read a couple of weeks back that talked about the upturn in accidents resulting from people walking into solid objects while texting. At the time, I thought you'd have to be as dumb as a bag of hammers to have that happen.

But as I watch my friend approach an intersection, oblivious of his surroundings, I suddenly realize I'm about to see this study play out before me. Sure enough, as he nears the crosswalk, he walks unabated into the pole holding the stoplight.

WHUMP!!

He falls back, glasses going one way, phone the other. It was as if he'd been woken up from sleepwalking - he seemed to not realize where he was, although I suppose you could attribute that to the shock of the impact. As dumb as I thought you'd have to be, here he was in the flesh. Amazing ...

As a certified Crackberry addict, I too am at risk of such behavior. Fortunately, most of the folks I know wouldn't know a text message if it bit them in the ass, and the one person I usually text with is currently too pissed at me to talk. One bright side to an otherwise dark episode, I guess ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:02 PM PST [link] [1 Comment]

Monday Sports Rant

I'm sitting in an incredibly boring meeting, and I haven't done one of these in a while, anyway, so ...

- Hard to figure, but it's a really good time to be a Marlins fan. Not only is the team playing lights-out ball - they're leading the East by three games! - but they started demolition on the Orange Bowl over the weekend, which will make room for the new Marlins Stadium. Oh, and they're about to lay out 70 megabucks to lock down Hanley Ramirez for the next 10 years. The Fish currently have the best record in baseball - the latest they've ever had that - and are doing it with the lowest salary. I'd try to figure it out, but I'd rather just ride it ...

- Things are tightening up in the NBA Playoffs, as the Utah Jazz and San Antonio Spurs each took a second game to even their playoff series at 2-2. Meanwhile, the Cleveland Cavaliers finally took one from the Celtics and still have another home game to even things up. We thought these series would be good, and they're living up to their billing. As they say, though, the series don't really start until someone loses a home game, and in two of those series it hasn't happened yet ...

- One week after wrecking NASCAR's most popular driver, Kyle Busch survived the carnage to win at Darlington Saturday night. There's no denying his talent, or quality of his team, and he's won races in all three of NASCAR's national series. But he's driving with a chip on his shoulder, and is pushing things that shouldn't be pushed. It's going right for him now, but it could all go very wrong very fast if he doesn't start using his head.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 11:09 AM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

Double Your Weekend Eye Candy

Those of you who checked this space last week were no doubt disappointed to find that the Eye Candy feature had been cancelled due to your humble host's illness. I promised better things for this week, and I'm happy to say that I'm feeling better and ready to come through.

For our first entry, I return to my illness. One of the things about being sick is that you don't necessarily remember things as they are but rather how you think they were. So I can't say for sure this is what my nurse looked like, or if there even was a nurse. But if there was one, this is what I hope she looked like ... :-) It is, in fact, Page 3 Girl Leilani Dowling, and I'm not sure, but I think at this point she's about to ask you to turn your head and cough ...

But we promised to double your pleasure this week. In actuality, we're going to double your doubled pleasure with Eye Candy favs Marisa Miller and Alessandra Ambrosio doing their thing for the latest Victoria's Secret catalog. And since Ale is currently several months into her pregnancy, we even work in this weekend's Mother's Day theme! Yes, I know - we rock ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:14 AM PST [link] [1 Comment]

Tick ... Tick ... Tick ...

In LA, we love our car chases. The news helicopter fleet will get word that someone is on the lam from the cops and show up overhead, ready to broadcast the results to the world. They won't admit it, but we all know what they really want - the money shot. They want to see they guy crash and scatter car parts across three lanes of traffic.

Sometimes, though, they get more than they bargained for. The chase will turn into a standoff, and end in a hail of police gunfire. Execution by cop - all broadcast live and direct into your living room. They wring their hands and say how unfortunate and unavoidable it was, but you know they know better.

That's the sense I get of the paparazzi who continually hound some of the more troubled celebrities - they claim they're just documenting the activities, but what they really want is to catch the ultimate meltdown. They got close with Britney Spears, but I think the one where they'll really get their wish is singer Amy Winehouse, who was once again arrested yesterday over her continued drug use and amazingly bad behavior.

You may recall the story from a few months back about Winehouse - fresh off a new series of denials - being caught using a crack pipe on paparazzi video. It was embarassing enough to finally force Wino into rehab - or, more correctly, force her management to try and force Wino into rehab, since it didn't work. Now the police are finally looking into it; Wino was arrested and released on bail yesterday in the matter.

If you've ever seen before and after photos of Amy Winehouse, the change is shocking. In a relatively short amount of time, she's gone from sexy and voluptuous to tattoed and gaunt. She's said to have earned $20 million already in her singing career (although I'll be damned if I can figure out how), and you know that the vast majority had gone into drugs. The photogs document her every move, each more bizarre than the next. You just can't help but wonder who'll be the lucky guy to break the photo of a half-naked Wino, needle still in her arm, sprawled dead in some alley ...

Someone get her some help before that happens.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:08 AM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

Boys Behaving Badly

Let me preface this entry with a little history. In November, 1980, I was initiated into the Fraternity of Phi Gamma Delta at UC Riverside. I spent three years as an undergraduate officer of that chapter, and later spent 5 years as a graduate advisor to our chapter at Long Beach State. I have a deep understanding of the Greek lifestyle, and all the advantages and challenges that come along with it.

That said, nothing makes me more angry - or disappointed - than reading of fraternity chapters that, in the year 2008, still think that there is a place for hazing in the initiation of pledges. Earlier this week, the story broke of a hazing incident at Tulane. In this case, pledges of the school's Pi Kappa Alpha chapter were hospitalized for burns suffered after boiling water, vinegar and cayenne pepper were used during a hazing ritual. Being Louisiana, apparently these geniuses decided the appropriate way to inspire their pledges was to treat them as if they were crawfish being prepared for the dinner gumbo. As you might guess, the chapter has been suspended by Tulane, the police are involved and charges are pending.

My undergraduate days were in the immediate aftermath of the movie "Animal House" - a time when fraternities felt obligated to live up to the "standard" the movie represented. I was fortunate enough to have joined an international fraternity with an aggressive anti-hazing policy, so my initiation was pretty tame. Like PGD, the Pikes are an international fraternity with a long and distinguished history, and a solid record on combating hazing. Often, stories like this occur to the so-called "local" fraternities, individual groups with no guidance. But when it happens to a chapter of a prominent organization like this, it shows that it can happen anywhere - and every fraternity chapter, no matter their affiliation, must constantly be on guard against backsliding to such unacceptable behavior.

Of course, as frightening as it is to imagine, it could be worse ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:55 PM PST [link] [Add A Comment]

Congrats, 24!

Confirming perhaps the worst-kept secret in sports, the NBA Most Valuable Player award was presented today to the Lakers' Kobe Bryant. Coming in his 12th professional season, Bryant ties former teammate Karl Malone by playing the most seasons before first winning the award.

There was a lot of talk that this would be a closely fought battle between Bryant, Cavaliers' star LeBron James, and Hornets' point guard Chris Paul. In fact, many felt that the push for Bryant wasn't so much a measure of his performance this year, but rather a reward for a successful career. Whatever the motivation, the vote wasn't nearly as close as predicted, with Bryant receiving 82 first place votes to Paul's 28. Celtics forward Kevin Garnett was third with 15.

To see Bryant win the award this season is amazing considering the state of his relationship with the Lakers less than a year ago. Frustrated after several down years in the wake of Shaquille O'Neal's departure to Miami, Kobe made it clear that if changes weren't made, he wanted out. Even after the season started - and it was clear that those changes hadn't happened - it seemed inevitable that Bryant would be traded to Chicago.

But that trade fell through, and the young Lakers squad jelled. Andrew Bynum - himself a target of Bryant's ire in a well-publicized video rant - became a genuine star, and Luke Walton and Jordan Farmarr matured into solid players. The return of Derek Fisher gave the team new stability at point guard, and Bryant began to trust his new teammates, becoming less of a scorer and more of a playmaker. He could still score at will, but he didn't have to - and that realization is what allowed him to grow into a player worthy of the MVP.

At the awards presentation, it was clear that Bryant appreciated both the award and the role of his teammates in helping him win it. But he also made it very clear that while an MVP is nice, nothing says success like one more ring ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:13 PM PST [link] [Add A Comment]