Most people who know me understand that I have a sense of humor that is … different. Visitors to the site get a glimpse of it now and then, but even here I have to keep it under wraps somewhat, since we are after all a family site.

Come the holidays, I like most folks get deluged with Christmas cards. Some are cute, some are whimsical, and some are just plain dull. But the ones that I like the most are the ones sent by people who really know me and find that one card that can really make me laugh.

This one is the one that made me chuckle this year. With the proliferation of gift cards these days, more and more cards have to do double duty as a present holder. But it’s hard to find one that can do both jobs well. This is the one that can.

Anyone can make potty humor, and some can make clever humor – it takes a particularly twisted mind to achieve both … and an even more twisted one to appreciate it.

C’mon – I saw you laughing …

After some well-deserved time AFTK, I’m back in the saddle again. Watched a lot of sports over the last two weeks, and you just know I have some things to say about it …

- Watching the Rose and Orange Bowls yesterday gave me a sense of deja-vu, as I have no doubt that the two best teams in the country are USC and Georgia (in that order). I have no idea how this Illinois team could have beaten Ohio State – in Columbus, no less. As for Hawaii, well, the good news is that at the end of that long flight home you’ll be back in paradise and yesterday will just be a bad memory. It’s possible that the BCS Championship Game might be a good one, but there’s no point in pretending that the winner, whether OSU or LSU, is truly a champion of anything other than that game. I’d take SC over either one, and spot them 14 pts.

- This is the tenth season of the BCS and their attempt to wrangle a true “national champion” for football. The only thing that is clear after this first decade is that they still don’t have it right. In all likelihood, there will be a split champion once again this year, as the Coaches Poll is contractually obligated to make the BCS champion their #1 team while the AP Poll is free to select whomever they feel is best. This happened in 2003-2004, when, ironically, it was USC who was the AP Poll selection while LSU won the BCS Championship – a scenario that could well play out once again this month. The bottom line is that this is what happens when you let big money run amok. There are nearly 90 NCAA-sanctioned sports, yet Division 1 Football is the only one where they do not determine a national champion. It’s not that the NCAA can’t figure out how – they do it in the lower football divisions – but rather that all that corporate money driving the bowl system won’t let them. It’s a classic case of leaving a void, and then being surprised by what appears to fill it. Not crowning a true champion is wrong, but the BCS isn’t the solution. I’d rather scrap the BCS and go back to the old flawed system until someone can develop something that really works.

- As we predicted here back in October, the New England Patriots completed their undefeated season when they beat the New York Giants for their sixteenth win. Along the way, the Pats set records for most TDs by a QB and wide receiver and overall points for a team. It’s a shame that what is obviously an incredibly talented team will be remembered more for a misguided use of videocamera and an asshole of a coach. Vying for a place alongside Belechick, though, are the 1972 Dolphins – the only team to run the table through the regular season and playoffs. Rather than being gracious to a team that has now won more games than they did (16 versus 15), they were quick to point out that they still have to win in the playoffs. While I’d love to see the Pats trip along the way, part of me want to see Randy Moss stuff the Lombardi Trophy down Garo Yepremian’s throat …

- Let’s hear it for old time hockey! While the rest of us were stuffing our faces with chips and dip and watching bowl games yesterday, the NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins and Buffalo Sabres were facing off in a snowstorm. A temporary outdoor rink was set up in Buffalo’s Ralph Wilson Stadium, normally home to the Bills, and over 70,000 hearty souls turned out for the game. It was great to see players with toques pulled over their helmets as they snowplowed down the ice, and the sound made by that big a crowd when Buffalo scored was amazing. For those who think hockey is just a bunch of goons, I wish you could have seen the play made yesterday by Pittsburgh’s Sidney Crosby. He charged into a group of players while chasing the puck, flipped it into the air over the other players and redirected the puck while it was in the air – not once, but twice! Looked like a college kid playing with a HackySack. Only downside was the final score – 2-1 Pens. Oh well …

- Speaking of hockey, caught part of the beatdown the Kings layed on the Blackhawks last night – 9-2! Here’s the problem: nine goals by the home team means nine times hearing the horn. But someone at Staples Center obviously knows nothing about the game, because rather than sounding like a traditional foghorn, theirs sounds like a diesel train about to hit a car at a crossing. C’mon, guys – get it right!!