Fame, apparently, is an intoxicating drug. How else can you explain the grip it holds on some people, and the lengths to which some will go to achieve it and, once they have it, keep it forever?

We’ve watched a parade of people, most with no talent or skill whatsoever, become famous for being famous. Thanks to reality TV, paparazzi and tabloids, folks like Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Heidi Montag or Lindsay Lohan can have careers – hell, can become wealthy! – for doing nothing but pose and preen. It’s easy to become disgusted and write it off as a weak generation, but it’s important to remember that it’s just a new twist on an old plot.

Remember golddiggers? Women who married men just for their money? They did what they had to do to get the ring, and the financial security that came with it. You want to divorce them? No problem – but it’ll cost you. They weren’t much different than the Gen-X paparazzi whores of today – they just used the different tools that were available.

I mention this because today’s Eye Candy is that rare “celebrity” who spans both eras. Marla Maples was the second Mrs. Donald Trump, and survived 6 years of marriage. When her time came and she was tossed aside, she probably didn’t soak The Donald the way #1, Ivana, did (he’d learned about the prenup by then), but I’m sure she got her share. What she couldn’t get, though, was the continued celebrity that comes with being Mrs. Trump.

What’s a girl to do? All those photogs running around LA chasing celebrities and not one watching her. So she took a page out of the Britney Spears playbook, dragged out the bikini and called the paparazzi. Half-naked MILF on the beach? You bet your ass they came!

Now, we at the MB don’t support such blatant behavior, but we have to respect anyone who 1) still looks good in a bikini at 46 and 2) can do cartwheels on command for the media. For that, she’s earned this week’s Eye Candy of the Week slot.

I’m the last person in the world to question how someone else chooses to run their business. After all, I’m the guy who writes a blog that never gets read. But wouldn’t you love to have been in the board room at Mill Farm Candies when the Product Development guys made their pitch for their new Gummi Lighthouses?

Beyond the basic lack of interest in lighthouses by the target audience – children – that would make you wonder why this particular shape was chosen to emulate, someone in the room … someone … had to have that seminal moment (yes, pun intended) …

Product Development Guy: OK, that’s our pitch. Any questions?
Junior Executive (nervously, absently rotating candy in hand): Umm … does anyone else notice that this candy looks an awful lot like a … penis?

Apparently, JE was out of the room relieving himself, or perhaps was afraid to bring up his concern, because the candy hit the market anyway. And now, even though there’s no website for Mill Farm Candies, their Gummi Lighthouses are a bona-fide internet star.

In today’s viral world, the initial thought is that these things can’t be for real, and are just someone’s idea of a prank. But apparently not – or at least no one’s owning up to it so far.

Somewhere, someone’s lookin’ for a new job … :crazy: