You’d think that if someone took the time and effort – and money – to purchase concert tickets and attend a show, they’d have some idea of what they were getting into, wouldn’t you? I certainly thought so – at least until last night.

I attended many concerts in my younger days – the record was something like 30 in 1982 – but as I’ve gotten older and my musical tastes mellowed somewhat, the number of shows that interest me has shrunk. The one show I never want to miss, though, is when Jimmy Buffett comes to town. It’s less show than experience, as tens of thousands of loyal Buffett followers (the infamous “Parrotheads”) invade the venue and set up shop in the parking lot. Six hours of partying, followed by a three-hour show – and another couple to get out of the lot – and it makes for a long day.

JB makes it a point to hit Irvine Meadows (or whatever the sponsors have called it this year) on each tour, and it’s clearly one of his favorite venues. He’s recorded a live album there, and has talked several times about the wild atmosphere. While I’m not the party-in-the-parking-lot kind of a guy any more, I still trek down for the show.

Last night was the show and, though a little earlier in the year than usual, I had high expectations – particularly when I saw the parking lot. The Parrotheads were out in force. I made my way to my seat and waited for the first song and the usual explosion of energy from the crowd. They fired up the Buster Poindexter to pump up the crowd, and out came Jimmy yelling to the crowd, “How ya feeling?” and …

Nothing.

The crowd was absolutely dead – they just sat there and stared. JB laughed it off and fired up the first song, but it was a sign of things to come.

Not being one to like surprises, I’d popped over to Buffettworld earlier in the week to see what songs he’d been playing at previous stops on the tour. It was a good mix, but I could see that there were a couple of old ones I didn’t know well, as well as three new songs. One of them, Summerzcool, was the name of the tour and has just been released, so I picked it up on iTunes and played it repeatedly to get the words right – singing and dancing are what it’s about at a Buffett show. That apparently wasn’t the case for everyone else, because once they’d go into a song they didn’t know, most of the crowd would just sit down, whip out their Blackberries and check their email. I was literally the only guy in my section singing the song, and dammit, that just made me sing louder – and really piss off a couple of them. Serves their asses right.

Over the years, a Buffett concert has become a form of theater. Much like a late-night showing of the “Rocky Horror Picture Show,” there are audience participation moments that the crowd all knows and loves. I’ve been to enough shows over the years to know when they’re coming, and love being a part of them, but on this night, I was clearly in the minority. Even during the Parrothead National Anthem – Margarita-freaking-ville! – half the crowd was sitting on their hands and wondering what all the yelling about “salt … salt … salt” was about. It was embarassing.

So here’s a friendly note for anyone who is thinking about attending a concert this summer: it’s a participatory event – you’re expected to be a part of it. Unless you’re older than the presenter (and last I checked, Jimmy’s 62 …), get your asses out of the seat and play along. The damned tickets are hard enough to get as it is; if all you want to do is sit quietly and listen to some pretty music, tune in Radio Margaritaville at home, or pop in a Yanni CD. Let the real fans enjoy the show they way it was intended to be – loud and proud with fins held high!

Here’s the setlist for any of you who didn’t follow along last night on my Facebook status – or were too busy checking your email in your seat to notice what songs he was playing …

Lage Nom Ai
Stars on the Water
Summerzcool (new)
It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere
Mañana
Conky Tonkin’
Volcano
Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes
Cheeseburger in Paradise
Come Monday
Son of a Son of a Sailor
Brown Eyed Girl
One Particular Harbour
A Lot to Drink About (new)

Intermission

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don’t Love Jesus
Grapefruit-Juicy Fruit
Last Mango in Paris
I Feel Like Goin Surfin in a Hurricane (new)
Southern Cross
Coast of Carolina
Rhumba Man
A Pirate Looks at Forty
Gypsies in the Palace
Margaritaville
Fins

First Encore:

We Are the People our Parents Warned us About
Yellow Submarine

Second Encore:

Lovely Cruise (Solo)