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Step Away From The Vagina

They’re at it again.

Our Lady of Perpetual Pregnancy, Michelle Duggar, is once again with child.  For those of you keeping count, this’ll be spawn #19 – conceived a scant 5 months after the birth of the last one.  You’d think that’s barely enough time to let the system reset, but I guess she’s had a lot of practice.

The Duggars – husband Jim-Bob and wife Michelle – have become famous through their cable reality show, “18 Kids & Counting.”  As you might guess from the title, what makes them famous is the size of their brood – you know how America loves their reality freak shows.  Much like John and Kate Gosselin and Nadia Suleman, people love to peek at the perceived chaos of trying to raise a whole flock of children.

The Duggars story goes something like this:  Michelle moved from Ohio to Arkansas where she had a religious conversion, and Jim-Bob was one of the churchmembers sent to “counsel” her.  Soon, counseling had turned to courting, and in 1984 the pair married.  After the birth of their first child, Michelle suffered a miscarriage that the couple attributed to a temporary use of birth control pills; after that, they decided against further birth control efforts and would “allow God to determine the number of children they would have.”  Apparently, God has been busy elsewhere and forgot to send the “whoa” signal to Jim-Bob and Michelle.

Michelle Duggar is 42, and will have spent nearly 14 years pregnant by the time this round is done.  After two Caesarians, you’d think her uterus couldn’t take the strain, but apparently they were able to patch her up like a steel-belted radial and send her out for another lap.  But I guess that’s to be expected – baby-making is the Duggar family business.  Oldest son Josh is about to bring the first second-generation Duggar into the world, and Jim-Bob and Michelle went on the Today show to announce her pregnancy.  Think they’d care what the Duggars were up to – or sponsors would roll up to the house with truckloads of product – if Michelle weren’t with child?  I doubt it …

The Duggars like to point out that, in spite of raising 18 kids in a 7,000-sq-ft home, they live “debt-free.”  Jim-Bob attributes this to a frugal lifestyle and wise financial planning, but I’m sure those checks from the network don’t hurt much either, eh J-B?  They’ve made the decision to subject their lives – and those of their children – to the scrutiny and judgement of the public, all in the name of money.  Maybe that’ll work and maybe it won’t – perhaps they might want to check with the folks at “Jon & Kate Plus Eight” to see how that can turn out.

I’m a Christian, and I respect the Duggars’ right to their beliefs.  I also believe in the right of an individual to do what they want in the world.  But, as the old saying goes, your personal rights end where mine begin.  Sure, they might not be sponging off the government for subsistence, but how about the impact of bringing so many new bodies into the world?  Maybe they haven’t gotten the word yet in Arkansas, but there’s a population crisis in the world, and this doesn’t help.  The world needs responsible decisions, not blind obedience, and it sure doesn’t need another Duggar kid.

Here’s a thought, Jim-Bob – next time you get the urge, try hand-firing one …

3 Comments

  1. RavTan says:

    Does she have a nickname – like “nondecaMom” ?

  2. 1 of 4 says:

    In Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life”, theres a sketch where a woman from a lesser part of England drops her 56th while washing the dishes. Mrs. Duggar has a ways to go. Jim-Bob ought to try the Greek method :-0

  3. RavTan (thanks 1of4) says:

    Ah, but in MP’s “The Meaning of Life” they had ‘the machine which goes “ping” !’ and thus distracted all the doctors and midwives from any patient – so th ewoman may just a swell have stayed at home (and washed the dishes).

    I fear “the Greek method” does not refer to marrying Aristotle Onassis (ulp !)