I’m not going to lie to you – my daily existence depends on coffee. Remember that old Monsanto commercial tag line – “Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible”? That’s my morning in a nutshell. Ants leave a chemical trail to follow … my trail is defined by the location of the nearest Starbucks, Coffee Bean or McDonalds to insure ready access to a refill.

Considering what you now know, you can imagine my joy when I learned Starbucks was going to introduce a new size of coffee even larger than a Venti – until I learned the Trenta size was only for iced drinks!!!

The new 31-ounce Trenta is being tested in Phoenix and Tampa. The iced coffee version sells for $3.30 and the iced tea for $2.60.

Starbucks says unsweetened Trenta drinks have fewer than 5 calories, while sweetened versions have less than 200 calories.

There was no word of the potential impact on nerves.

Dammit all, I don’t need some watered down ice-with-a-hint-of-coffee crap, I need my medicine! This has me more irritated than when they pulled my chain for April Fools …