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09/05/2006: "Monday ... er Tuesday Sports Rant"

Hey, even I get the holidays off ...

- Man, it's been a tough offseason for Ben Roethlisberger. First he nearly loses his head - literally - in a motorcycle accident. Then, after a gritty preseason recovery, he has an emergency appendectomy the week before the season starts. Someone's karma must have worn a little thin ...

- I'm not sure what they're feeding Tiger Woods, but I'll have some, please. He won his fifth consecutive start yesterday, and did it in the best possible fashion. Vijay Singh - he of the perpetual "I just stepped in dog shit" facial expression, started the day with a 3-stroke lead and shot a final round 68 - and still lost by two shots. Tiger spanked him like a baby with a soiled diaper, scoring a pair of eagles on the front nine and never looking back. For those of you keeping score, that's 7 wins in 14 starts in 2006 - with the trauma and recovery from losing his father right in the middle of it. Tiger uttered the most honest answer I've ever heard from him when asked by Andy North, "what's next?" Eldrick's answer? "Sleep" ...

- Never one to say I told you so, but the Marlins became the first team in MLB history to reach the .500 mark after being 20 games under with their win yesterday. These guys are really a lot of fun to watch, and we could be seeing the beginning of something pretty special here. Wonder how all those guys who sucked the Marlins roster dry last winter are feeling right now - I'm talking to you, Red Sox ...

- So the truth has finally come out - it was a crack about his sister that sent Zinedane Zidane into a headbutting rage in the finals of the World Cup. Italian defender Marco Materazzi, the recipient of the butt heard 'round the world, talked about the incident in an interview over the weekend.

"We both spoke and I wasn't the first. I held his shirt but don't you think it is a provocation to say that 'if you want my shirt I will give it you afterwards'?

"I replied to Zidane that I would prefer his sister, that is true. I brought up his sister and that wasn't a nice thing, that is true," said Materazzi.

"Thankfully there are tens of footballers who could confirm that much worse things are said on the field," added the Inter Milan defender.

Got any naked pictures of your wife? Want some?

- I'm sorry, but when a matchup of two leading college football teams results in a whopping total of 3 yards of rushing offense, it's pretty hard to get excited about the upcoming season. #11 FSU (1 yd) defeated #12 Miami (2 yds) 13 to 10 last night in a nationally televised game. But it wasn't that the defenses were that good - the offenses were that bad. Did these guys forget that you need to reload each season with new weapons? Texas (56-7) certainly figured it out ... wonder about USC?