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09/28/2006: "No Class Whatsoever"

We've all enjoyed the series of stupid human tricks that is the life of Anna Nicole Smith ever since she and her bolt-ons "graced" the pages of Playboy back in the early 90s. From her marriage to a man three times her age to the lawsuits to the diet pills, it's been a wacky ride.

Recently, that ride turned sour. Smith was in the Bahamas for the birth of her second child - coming out of wedlock and with several men potentially the father - when her son Daniel died suddenly while visiting her in the hospital. The investigation is still underway, and the funeral for Daniel has yet to occur.

But none of that will deter our Miss Smith! Two days ago, Smith's attorney Howard K. Stern (the "K" no doubt to differentiate between him and the other asshole named Howard Stern) came forward to announce he was the child's father, and that he wanted to marry Smith "at some point".

Apparently, "at some point" is lawyer-speak for "tomorrow", as that's just what Stern and Smith did yesterday.

"There was heavy security around the yacht, plus extra speedboats to deliver more supplies as needed (including unlimited Dom Perignon champagne) from the mainland to the catamaran," says the eyewitness, who adds that the wedding party celebrated the union afterwards by having a swim party around the yacht "and Anna was wearing a pink bikini! Later on, she changed into a colorful, one-piece suit with a wrap around her waist."

While I don't begrudge their effort to give the child something that resembles parents, the manner in which they did it - coming barely two weeks after the death of Daniel Smith - is disgusting. I don't know why I'm surprised - we live in a society that celebrates this kind of trash, and ANS is a product of that celebration. I guess I'd have hoped she could have kept it together long enough to bury her son, but apparently that was too much to ask.

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