Home » Archives » October 2006 » Sorry, Mary ... Not This Time
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10/12/2006: "Sorry, Mary ... Not This Time"
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Those of you who are long-time fans of SCMO may recall that during the California Gubernatorial Recall Election of 2003, I endorsed the candidacy of porn star Mary Carey, shown at right in her photo from that campaign. Mary didn't win, of course, placing tenth to the current governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, but she fought a spirited battle.
Let's face it ... while I agreed with many of her platform planks (particularly her pledge to slap a sin tax on boob jobs), her attraction lied less in her politics than in her, er, positions. After all, she was the only candidate with no skeletons in the closet - hers were right there on DVD for everyone to see! The classic blond bimbo, a little on the plump side with a little girl's giggle, she looked less like a porn star and more like the girl next door - if you lived next to a trailer park.
It's election season again here in California, and time to make my endorsement. Mary is running again, and would certainly appreciate the support of a big-time site like SCMO. Unfortunately, she's not going to get it.
The intervening years have been hard for our little candidate. First, there was the arrest last year in a strip club outside Tacoma for touching herself inappropriately while onstage (can't you just see a bunch of old men trying to define "touching inappropriately" while writing that law?). Then, Mary was fired from her production company, Kick Ass Pictures, when it came out that the breasts she so proudly proclaimed to be natural during the first campaign were, in fact, fakes. Recently, she appeared at the registrar's office with new teeth, even larger bolt-on titties, and a significant weight loss that can only be attributed to drugs or disease. I'm afraid enough's enough.
If anything, Mary should feel proud that she's achieved the ultimate political goal - how to make campaign promises, then go back on them. She used to call herself "a politician you want to be screwed by", but that's simply no longer true. Most the things that attracted her following initially - starting with the breasts - turned out to be a lie, and since her sincerity was her biggest asset (at least politically), I cannot provide my support.
Stay tuned for the announcement of our endorsement in upcoming days ...
is tasteless ! 
