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10/19/2006: "Just Go Away and Die"
Like most people, I was transfixed by the 1994 trial of football star / marginal actor O. J. Simpson for the murder of his ex-wife Nicole and her maybe boyfriend Ron Goldman. The idea of someone so famous doing something so hideous was just unfathomable. But by the end of the trial, I - again, like most people - felt he'd done it. Unfortunately, the jury disagreed, and we've had to live with this jackass rubbing our collective faces in it ever since.
Frankly, if I were Fred Goldman I'd have paid someone to rub the bastard out. What would he have to lose - he'd already lost his son. I could certainly forgive him for the sentiment.
I can even forgive the large number of African-Americans who celebrated the Juice's acquittal. I don't think even they believed he was truly innocent as much as they saw it as one that went their way for a change. Given the rather spotty justice received by blacks over the years, I can't blame them either.
The only guy I can truly blame is Orenthal. Never mind that it's so clear that he did it. Never mind that he's lived the good life in Florida while ditching the financial obligations from his civil trial. What gets me is the unapologetic way he has capitalized on his "fame" as a scofflaw. From selling weekend visits to his pathetic prank video "Juiced", the man has whored himself in every way short of gay porn.
Or so I thought. I assumed he'd sunk as low as he possibly could, but I was wrong. The National Enquirer is reporting today that Simpson has been paid $3.5 million to pen a book about the Brown-Goldman murders. He's not going to confess - but will do everything short of it.
Simpson is not actually confessing to the murder — rather, he’s writing a “hypothetical” book — which the Enquirer reports is tentatively being called “If I Did It.”
The early part of the book tells how Simpson fell in love with Nicole and how the marriage collapsed, reports the tab. He goes on, according to the article, to describe in gruesome detail the killing of his ex-wife and Goldman; he stipulates that the murder scenes are “hypothetical.” But, notes the tab, the descriptions are “so detailed and so chillingly realistic” that readers are left with little doubt as to what really happened.
Simpson can never be retried for the murders because of double jeopardy laws, according to the Enquirer, which also claims that Simpson aims to keep any book money instead of paying it out in a civil suit judgment against him by spending it all quickly.
Even discounting the spin put on by the tabloid media, this goes so far beyond anything that could be considered reputable behavior. This guy just needs to disappear, hopefully Jimmy Hoffa-style.
