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12/19/2006: "Second Chance or Slick Trick?"

Who'da thunk it ... turns out the Donald has a soft heart to go with the hard ass. After being allowed to twist in the breeze for a day, the reigning Miss USA, Tara Conner - underage drinker, lipstick lesbian and all-around party girl - is going to get to keep her crown after all. After today's tear-jerker press conference, at which Trump played stern father to Conner's wayward daughter, Tara's off to serve the standard celebrity penance - a stint in rehab. After that, she moves back into the Trump Tower and resumes her duties as Miss USA - no doubt under a much brighter spotlight.

"She left a small town in Kentucky and she was telling me that she got caught up in the whirlwind of New York," Trump said.

"It's a story that has happened many times before to many women and many men who came to the Big Apple. They wanted their slice of the Big Apple and they found out it wasn't so easy."

While it's nice to think that Donald Trump might actually be thinking of the best interests of a young girl - for a change, one he's not planning to marry - I doubt good intentions had anything to do with his decision. Miss USA has always been the sleazy second-cousin to Miss America, all the way back to its breakaway from the bigger pageant back in the '50s. If you were the owner of the pageant, and famous for self-promotion, what better way to get the event back in the spotlight than a controversy. Throw in the fact that the center of the storm is hot, blond, and twenty, and I'm sure the Donald could smell a winner a mile away. The fact that the girl Conner's been seen kissing is actually the 18-yr-old Miss Teen USA - also a Trump property - and Trump probably couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

Look, I'd like nothing more than to see a happy ending on this one. Conner does her time, comes out a role model for troubled young girls, and goes on to success and happiness. Of course, if instead she ends up filling out the foursome with Paris, Lindsey, and Britney, I guess I'll just have more to write about ...