Home » Archives » March 2007 » Wanted: A Life. Inquire Within
[Previous entry: "Look - It's A Sports Rant!"] [Next entry: "Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time ..."]
03/27/2007: "Wanted: A Life. Inquire Within"
I've said it before in this blog, but it bears repeating - I love my job. I've been in aerospace for pushing 25 years, and I've never had a position that provided such a mix of enjoyment and challenge, satisfaction and responsibility. I come to work every day knowing I'm working on something that will significantly impact the way we build satellites (hopefully for the better), and that the decisions I make will dictate the direction of the system. It's a very powerful feeling.
Unfortunately, with that power comes commitment. I'm basically the only person on the planet who understands the software we are developing, having been the focal for the last year and a half. That means that if there's a difficult question that needs answering, or a decision that needs to be made, I have to answer it or make it. I like to think I have a flexible schedule, but the only real flexibility is that I can vary where I physically do my job since all I really need is a dataport, my laptop and a cellphone. The reality is that I may technically have work hours, but I'm never truly off the clock.
As we approach our May system rollout, that is becoming more apparent than ever. I spend all day in meetings, telecons, webexs and the like, trying to squeeze in a few testing sessions along the way. About the time the sun goes down, I get the "opportunity" to try and develop some of the documentation we need to provide with the product, or refine the training methods - for which I'm also responsible. I can't escape the job even when I sleep, as more often than I'd like to admit I dream of the problems we are having or could have in the future. I really should dream about a good night's sleep, since it's been a long time since I've had one of those.
It would be worse except that I love the job so much. I guess you could say it's one of those cases where you should be careful what you ask for, since I specifically volunteered for the position. I just didn't realize how it would dominate my life. I've always been one of those folks who is usually out of vacation time, since I use most of it for marlin fishing. I got word yesterday that if I don't use some vacation time in the next few weeks, I'll be at 320 hours - my maximum - and will stop accruing new time. For those of you keeping track, 320 hours is 40 days, or 8 weeks. I could leave now and not come back for two months and still be even. If only. I'm reduced to having to take a day here and there during the week, but it's a vacation in name only. I'm still doing the same things I do at work, only instead I do them at home. I have an invitation to fish in a pair of billfish tourneys this spring, one in Mexico and one on the East Coast, and there's not a chance in hell I can take the time to do it. And I won't even talk about what my hours are doing to my social life and waistline ...
Somehow, I need to find some balance in my life. It's easy to tell yourself that you are essential to the job and if you're not there progress won't happen. Even if it's true, the program would be a lot worse off if I drop dead from overwork. Anyone with suggestions, feel free to comment!
