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07/16/2007: "Oh, Look - A Sports Rant!"

Baseball's settling back in after the All-Star Break, motorsports are hitting their midseason, and football camps are about to open. And who's this guy who claims to be a footballer who uses a round ball???

- The Giants' Barry Bonds basked in the All-Star limelight in the only city where he could find such love. But now the games have started again, and Bonds is back to reality - and being Barry. Mired in an 0 for 20 slump, he went hitless against the hated Dodgers as they swept the Giants on their own field. How did Barry respond?

"It's an embarrassment for me to be wearing this fucking uniform 'cause of the way I'm playing. There, that's it. Now go away."

Now, there's the Barry we all love to hate. None of that touchy-feely crap any more. Just the Pumpkin-Headed Freak and egotistical quest for immortality. Of course, he's running on fumes right now, so while he'll break Hank Aaron's record, he won't break it by much. And he'll never feel the love Hammer did ...

- Still talking baseball, the Philadelphia Phillies lost yesterday, marking 10,000 losses in franchise history. They're the first professional sports franchise to make that mark, and the press has been all over it. My question is, why? All it shows is that they've been around for ever (125 years, in this case). Stick around long enough, and you're bound to lose games. If the Phillies hit 10K losses, then someone out there must be at 10K victories - why isn't that a story. Oh, wait - that would be good news, and the press can't report that!

- Everyone thought Phil Mickelson was going to go into this week's British Open on a high. He was leading going into the final round of the Scottish Open, his wrist apparently healed, his swing seemingly flawless. But once again, the part of his body that Butch Harmon can't fix - Phil's brain - jumped in the path of victory once again. He bogeyed the 18th hole to fall into a tie, then lost the event on the first hole of a playoff. Maybe he's shake it off - after all, compared to other Mickelson Meltdowns this was pretty tame - but they will be playing at Carnoustie this week. Beyond being the hardest of the courses on which the Open is played, it's also the site of Jan Van De Velde's famous 1999 meltdown. Here's hoping Phil doesn't follow his lead.

- Tired of stories about a certain primadonna female golfer who got way too much money way too young while achieving way too little? Then you'll like this. During the US Women's Open, one of the great stories was about Alexis Thompson, who at 12 years old, became the youngest player to ever qualify for the event. Had she done nothing more, it would have remained memorable, but it became legendary yesterday when she defeated the current US Women's Amateur champion to capture the Junior PGA Championship. She ran off 4 birdies in 5 holes to clip Kimberly Kim by one shot. The handlers of Michelle Wie should take note - this is how you raise a young golfer. Support them, train them, love them, and ultimately let them do their thing. Don't try and turn them into some kind of sideshow freak.

- Beckhammania arrived on Friday with the press conference announcing their arrival in Los Angeles. Sure, David Beckham will have some effect on soccer in the states, but it is Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham who's garnering all the headlines. Even the seemingly proper Los Angeles Times ran a full cover shot of Posh in their "Image" section accompaning an article on how you, too, can be "posh". Buckle up, folks, it's gonna be a wild ride ...