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08/13/2007: "Van Loser"

Let's cut right to the chase: Van Halen is one of the greatest rock and roll bands ever. Now when I say "Van Halen", that means one and only one lineup: Edward Van Halen on guitar, Alex Van Halen on drums, Michael Anthony on bass and the inimitable David Lee Roth and his assless pants out front. Sure, there have been different lineups over the years, and some of them (notably the "Van Hagar" version") produced some good music, but there's only one classic. All you have to do is listen to the first few bars of any song on their first album from 1976 if you need confirmation.

Political infighting, alcohol and ego always managed to both drive and divide the band, and in 1985 Roth got the boot, starting a virtual revolving door at the vocalist position. Over the years, Roth would make an appearance at some news conference with the band to announce a reunion of the classic lineup, but then he'd open his mouth and the rest of the band would remember why they kicked his ass to the curb in the first place.

So it was with some trepidation that I saw an item about a Van Halen reunion tour coming later this year. Nothing makes me cringe worse than over the hill bands trying to regain lost glory, either by asking geriatric members to try and play and sing like they did 30 years ago, or by replacing them with young studs that reduce the band to little more than a copy band.

In this case, you apparently get both. Roth has rejoined the fold and will sing, although he hasn't done anything worthy in at least 20 years - and let's not even talk about his stint trying to replace Howard Stern. Alex, now in his mid-sixties, will be back on the drum throne along with brother Eddie on guitar - and fresh out of rehab. Joining them on bass? Not Michael Anthony and his soaring harmonies. Nope, it's gonna be ... wait for it ... Eddie's 16-yr old son Wolfgang. Puleeze.

I have fond memories of VH, having played their first few albums to death during my college dorm days. I saw them twice in the late seventies - one at a festival and one in the "Fabulous Forum" - and it was spectacular. The thought of this tour makes my skin crawl ...

Here's your irony for you ... as I was writing this entry, VH's classis "Ain't Talking 'Bout Love" came up at random on my iPod Shuffle. One of the greatest songs in the history of rock and roll, I can only look at this a some kind of sign of divine intervention. Man, if that doesn't seal the deal ...

Replies: 1 Comment

On Tuesday, August 14th, 3of4 said:

They were a band in socal in 76 but nobody heard of them. 1st record dropped in 78. The hippy at the bong shop turned us onto a promo copy. We TDK'd it and decided to ditch friday and hitch hike 400 miles to Seattle. The place was empty due to limited distribution of their record. They rocked hard anyway. That summer they finally exploded. Then everyone understood how to pronounce my concert tee. They kept sayin van haulin? Sounded great on my pioneer car speakers. Of course my older brother liked al dimiola and jeff beck and paige so when eddie got guitar player of the year I got beat up.another ten years and he will be too old to kick my ass. I'm gonna beat him down an blast jamies cryin.