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11/14/2007: "Sounded Like A Good Idea At The Time ..."

I've spent most of my adult life wrestling with weight and fitness. I've never been much of an athlete, but have always been a world-class eater - two things that will bite you in the ass as you get older. And as I've gotten older, there's been more ass to get bit in. Periodically, I might get momentarily motivated - or embarrased - and try some short-term fix (remember the Tour de Stance and my flirtation with NutriSystem?). Ultimately, though, they never led to success.

Ask any recovering addict and they'll tell you about their moment of clarity - that point where they were finally able to see themselves for who and what they were, free of any pretense or filters. I'm a drunk ... I'm a junkie ... whatever the problem, the path to recovery requires you face reality.

Back in August, through a series of circumstances I'm not ready to go into here, I found myself at that moment. I was 48 years old, shaped like a pear, and weighed 272 pounds. In my moment of clarity several things became immediately evident to me:

- Life is a game.
- You never know when you'll need to be put into that game
- I was in no shape to compete in that game.

It wasn't dramatic, but it was humbling. More important, the moment managed to cut through all the crap in my life and let me recognize the way out. Many times, I'd tried to buy my way to health. Bottom line, though, is that there is no pill, no book, no diet plan, no supplement that can do the job for you. This is one of those things where you gotta just sack up and do what you gotta do - or die. Period.

So I made some changes. I pulled the bike out of the rafters (where, BTW, it had hung since the end of the TdS two years ago) and started riding. I put my second mountain bike on a stationary trainer and ride it twice a week as well (and mounted a MacMini over the handlebars so I can surf the web while I pedal - hey, once a geek ...). I started walking along the beach twice a week. Little steps in the right direction.

On the food front, I cut out fast food - a major sacrifice, I thought at the time - and force myself to either cook something healthy or eat something prepackaged - and preportioned. I developed a heck of a fondness for the salads they make at Trader Joes ... yum!

Over the first 6 weeks, I lost 30 pounds. Now, I let myself take pride in that accomplishment, but never forgot that it's just a drop in the bucket compared to where I need to be. That point was driven home about a month ago when I realized I was plateaued at 240. That was the real moment of truth. It's easy to sacrifice when you see tangible results, but how you perform in the absence of positive reinforcement is the real mark of success.

I'll admit - it was a tough time. It was harder to eat what I should instead of what I wanted, and not as easy to head out the door to exercise - especially when I lost my walking partner to her law studies. Then I lost a week of exercise during the fires when it was counterproductive. With all the distractions, though, I didn't gain any weight - but I didn't lose any, either.

Which brings us to now. I knew I needed to "kick it up a notch", as Emeril would say, but wasn't sure how. My law student friend has been seeing a personal trainer and loves it - and, as someone who can see the results, I can tell you it loves her, too. But between the price and the whole "personal" part, I just wasn't ready for that. Then it dawned on me that I could compromise - and it wouldn't cost a cent.

Back during my "trying to buy the cure" phase, NBC first ran the show "Biggest Loser". Despite the depressing title, it was actually a very uplifting show where teams of contestants work to lose weight. It was easy to see myself in some of them, and to take comfort in seeing the results - hey, if they could do it, I could! One of the trainers, Jillian Michaels, had a series of workouts on DVD, which I bought - and promptly stuffed in a drawer.

In the drawer no more. Monday, I dusted off the "Beginner's Workout - Frontside" and popped it into the DVD player. Hmm ... circuit training. Six circuits made up of three exercises each - two strength and one cardio. Three sets of each exercise per circuit ran 43 minutes. Heck, I could do this, I thought.

As if.

Sometimes, it takes more than good intentions. I made it through the first circuit and thought I was gonna puke. Halfway through the second, heart racing in a most unhealthy fashion, I waved the white flag.

OK, maybe not the start I wanted. But it's a start. Later tonight, I'll try again, and if I make it to the end of the second circuit, it's victory. A little victory, but victory nonetheless.