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11/15/2007: "A Great Day For Celebrity Justice"

I swear, some days this thing just writes itself ...

- Lindsay Lohan has owed LA County a couple of jail days for a couple of months stemming from the multiple DUIs she stumbled into before going in to her extended rehab in Utah. This morning, without telling anyone, she checked herself at the Lynwood Sherriff's facility (otherwise known as the Paris Hilton ... I just kill myself ... ) where she remained in custody for ... wait for it ... 84 minutes. No word yet on just why the quick release or how many of the two days it counts for. Man, I'll bet the press is pissed!

- Barry Bonds ... he of the "untainted" home run record ... finally got bitch-slapped by the Grand Jury that has been investigating whether he perjured himself by declaring no knowledge of steroids. They've only been meeting for what - 18 months? 2 years? - and finally dropped down an indictment. His Punkinheadedness is staring at 30 years in the slam if convicted. Not coincidentally, Greg Anderson, Bonds' trainer and the guy BB claims didn't shoot him in the ass with the clear ... or is the cream ... was released today after serving nearly a year in prison for refusing to roll over on Bonds. Loyalty is good, but what do you think is the likelihood Bonds would return the favor. You bet your ass ...

- And then there's the Juice. Despite the best efforts of his legal team (just who's paying for them, anyway ... the Goldman Trust?), the Vegas judge overseeing his preliminary hearing decided there's sufficient evidence that he and his two buddies committed kidnapping and robbery in their effort to retrieve some items Orenthal claims had been stolen from him years earlier. He's staring down the barrel at a possible life sentence for the kidnapping charge, and somehow, I don't think the juries are going to be quite so sympathetic this time.

More to follow, you can be sure ...