Home » Archives » December 2007 » Martha Stewart Is A Big Fat Liar
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12/26/2007: "Martha Stewart Is A Big Fat Liar"
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Let me be clear: I don't like Martha Stewart. I don't like her elitist attitude and her faux upper crust accent. I love home improvement shows, but I hate hers. I just don't like the woman.
And I like her even less now that I've caught her in a lie.
Let's face it - going to prison was the best thing that ever happened to Martha. Rather than stunt her career, it skyrocketed to new heights. When they locked her up, she lost her product line with K-Mart. It's back - only now it's at Macy's. There's the paint collection at Lowes ... the flower collection at ProFlowers ... and don't forget the houses built by KB Homes based on her own homes. Yes, prison was very very good to Martha - and she still trots out the prison stories when she needs to tug on a heartstring - or boost ratings (remember the prison ponchos?)
She did it again yesterday for her Christmas show. Martha was relating a "heartwarming story" of how she was making pottery in the prison craft shop and begged the guards for special privileges.
"Even though every inmate was only allowed to do one a month, and I was only there for five months, I begged because I said I was an expert potter -- ceramicist actually -- and could I please make the entire nativity scene," she said.
Frankly, anyone who refers to oneself as "an expert ceramicist" should probably get shanked in the shower. That aside, Martha claimed the nativity figures she displayed had been sculpted by herself and other inmates at the Federal Prison at Alderson, WVA. Only problem? I have the same damned nativity scene! My mother created it for me some years back in a ceramics class (note that mine is a lovely bone ivory rather than Martha's poop brown). I'm no "expert ceramicist", but there's a mighty big difference between sculpting figurines from raw clay and slapping some glaze on a prefabbed piece and popping it in the oven.
Shame on you, Martha ... even Baby Jesus is frowning ...
