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12/30/2007: "We Can Only Hope"

Even during my vacation, I like to check out the latest news stories. Every once in a while, I run across one that makes me do a double-take ... like this one. The headline? "Director Oliver Stone joins hostage rescue team".

WTF??

Leaving the glamour of Hollywood far behind, Stone arrived in the steamy Colombian city of Villavicencio on Saturday as part of a mission led by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to retrieve three hostages held for years by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, or FARC.

It starts to make sense once he pulls his head out of his ass and opens his mouth.

"I have no illusions about the FARC, but it looks like they are a peasant army fighting for a decent living," Stone said in an interview with The Associated Press at his hotel bar. "And here, if you fight, you fight to win."

When asked if he's concerned the heavily armed guerrillas could turn on him, he joked: "Well, if they took us, they would be swapping three hostages for 10," referring to himself and observers from five Latin America countries, France and Switzerland, along to supervise the release. "If I were them, that would make sense.

Here's hoping they read CNN.com ...

As if his trip wasn't enough to cement his inherently anti-government agenda, he's also scouting for a biopic about Pablo Escobar, the Colombian cocaine smuggler killed in 1993. Stone's twisted take?

"Escobar is still very controversial. Many people hate him, but many people love him," said Stone, who first rendered the drug-smuggling underworld as a screenwriter for "Midnight Express" and "Scarface." "To some, he was this Robin Hood figure, giving money to the poor."

Note to Hugo Chavez: You can keep Stone, and when Sean Penn shows up, he's yours, too ...