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01/16/2008: "Dumb As A Glass Of OJ"

It never ceases to amaze me just how stupid some people can be. Take OJ Simpson (please ... bah dum pum). You'd think he'd be so thrilled to have gotten off the hook for his ex-wife's murder that he'd lay low for the rest of his life. Not our Juice. No, he had to get wrapped up in a sports memorabilia sting in Vegas. For that, he's staring down the barrel at a lifetime of jailtime. You'd think that'd be enough for one fool.

But wait ... there's more. OJ is out on bail, with the provision that he not contact any of his co-defendants. So what does he do? He not only decides to try and get a hold of one of them, he trys to do so by leaving a message on the answering machine of his buddies' bail bondsman.

"I just want, want C.J. to know that ... I'm tired of this [expletive]," Simpson is quoted in the documents as saying on the taped message. "Fed up with [expletives] changing what they told me. All right?"

Dumb, Juice - really dumb.

As you might imagine, the judge overseeing his case wasn't happy. She dragged his ass back from Florida to Vegas and tossed him in the slammer. Today, during his hearing to consider a request for release, she let him have it.

"I don't know Mr. Simpson what the heck you were thinking -- or maybe that's the problem -- you weren't," Clark County District Court Judge Jackie Glass told Simpson.

"I don't know if it's just arrogance. I don't know if it's ignorance. But you've been locked up at the Clark County Detention Center since Friday because of arrogance or ignorance -- or both."

Not only did she not release him, she doubled his bail $250K - and demanded that he actually put up his part of the bail money, which he didn't before.

What a tool. Maybe Fred Goldman will float him a loan from his cut of "If I Did It" ...