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04/14/2008: "Yup ... It's The Monday Sports Rant"

Spent most of the weekend hiding from the heat (96 degrees - damn!) and watching the "Deadliest Catch" marathon. But squeezed in a bit of sports, too ...

- A lot of lessons were learned this weekend (like Brandt Snedeker, who learned that real men don't cry when they choke the Masters ... dude, please!) But the guy who learned the biggest lesson was one Eldrick "Tiger" Woods, who learned that braggards fall hard. Everyone knows he's the greatest golfer on the planet - maybe the best ever - but the golf gods don't care. When he repeated his pre-season statement about how the Grand Slam was "doable", you could feel the cold chill in the room. He may yet win the four majors in one season, but it won't be this one. Tiger ran a distant second to winner Trevor Immelman, himself only a few months removed from major surgery. Blustery conditions and iffy decisions by others on the leaderboard made the results appear closer than they really were, as Immelman wasn't really challenged on Sunday. Even a double bogey on 16 was easily absorbed, and he cruised home with a 3-shot victory. If anything, this weekend should remind us all just how hard the so-called "Tiger Slam" of a few years back really was. Tiger didn't play bad, he just didn't play great - and that's what it takes to win the Masters.

- Every once in a while, a player will have a rule named after them, usually because of some interesting or unusual circumstance in which they were involved. I doubt any will ever have it be for a more embarrassing display that the Rangers' left wing Steve Avery. Known alternately as the boyfriend of actress Elisha Cuthbert or the most annoying man in hockey, he now has the dubious honor of having the NHL institute a rule change specifically because of his antics. During Saturday night's game against the Devils, Avery planted himself in front of goalie Martin Brodeur and waved his arms and stick directly in front of him. the officials looked at this crass attempt to distract Brodeur and decided it wasn't specifically against the rules, although all present agreed they'd never seen such a pathetic attempt at bad sportsmanship. The thought was that the rules committee would address the apparent rules loophole during the offseason, but league director of operations Colin Campbell made the necessary changes to the rules today. As one player put it, it was the kind of thing you did when you were seven or eight, but no one really thought someone would try it in the NHL. Now we know ...

- The Florida Marlins are still in first place. Enjoy it while you can, Fish Heads ...

- Just when you thought the stupidity between the Yankees and Red Sox couldn't go any further, we get a world-class example of taking the whole sports thing too far. During the construction of the new Yankees Stadium, a construction worker - and, apparently, rabid Boston fan - buried a Sox jersey in one of the concrete pours, presumably to put a "hex" on the hated Bronx Bombers. Not content to let the jersey work its "magic", he had to tell the media and get his 15 minutes of fame. This brought on a slew of talking heads debating the effect of this new "curse" - as if. You'd like to think that was the end of it, but you'd be wrong. The Yankees, never one to miss a trick or spend a buck, tracked down the other, "loyal" members of the crew in an attempt to locate the burial spot of the jersey. And they found it - after digging a two-foot deep hole in the brand new concrete, a ragged David Ortiz jersey was extracted. It's going to be auctioned off - the only good news in this whole pathetic tale.