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06/05/2008: "And You Think Your Ass Is Sore ..."
For those of us who work for a living, complaining about our jobs is practically a national pastime. It doesn't matter what the job is or how much we're paid - at some point, we all find someone to complain to. You flop into a chair and proclaim, "Man ... my ass is so tired ...", which is a signal for anyone nearby to stop what they're doing and humor you as you continue to complain.
Most of the time, the rant is without merit. In Utrecht, The Netherlands, however, lives a guy with a different story. When he tells you how sore his ass is, you might want to listen to what comes next. You see, this guy and his two buddies thought it'd be funny to drop trou and run down the street during the dinner hour. They were quite impressed with themselves, but thought they weren't getting the attention they deserved. That's when our boy tried to press his luck - literally - by mashing his ass against the window of a nearby restaurant.
But when the 21-year-old ran up to the front window, the joke was on him - and so were dozens of shards of painful glass splinters, after he pushed his bottom a bit too hard against the pane and it shattered into a thousand pieces. A police statement reveals he then suffered "deep wounds to his derriere."
He was rushed to a nearby hospital and was treated for his injuries. Cops arrested the three stooges for showing their nether regions in the Netherlands but decided not to press charges - there had been enough pressing already - because the repentant guys agreed to pay for the cost of the window.
Screw the window - he needs to pay for the thrown-up dinners! I guess this answers the question of whether they'd translated the show "Jackass" into Dutch ...
