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07/29/2008: "It Had To Happen"

There are those things in life that seem so inevitable that you know - you just know - they'll happen at some point, and yet you dread the day. Today, I am pained to report, is one such day, as I must with heavy heart tell you that someone has suffered a serious injury while playing ... wait for it ... air guitar.

Anyone who grew up listening to Led Zeppelin and the Who knows what "air guitar" is - hell, we were playing it before it was even called anything. You feel the guitar riff deep in your soul, and it just has to explode out of your body ... in the form of an invisible Fender Stratocaster. It wasn't until the '80s that it dawned on someone that this seemingly innocent act was actually a profit opportunity waiting to be taken. First it was the book - "The Official Air Guitar Handbook (of which I will confess to having had a copy back in the day) then the video games (today's most popular game? Guitar Hero 3 - just an extension of the concept). Naturally (?) this led to the Air Guitar World Championship. Yes, there really is such a thing in 2008. The Finns hold the record for world championships, Finland being such a Mecca for rock and roll heroes and all.

Anyway, at a recent regional contest in NYC, one of the contestants decided to give her all - literally - for the competition. Taryn Kapronica is apparently something of a legend in the world of air guitar, and she was mid-performance when she caught her foot on a chair during a stage dive, tearing the skin off one toe and dislocating it.

The 27-year-old's flying feat wasn't missed by they fans as they stood in shock while the New York rocker finished her winning performance. In a Daily News interview, Kapronica said "I could feel the blood trickle down my foot and between my toes, but I refused to look down at it." The girl just kept on playing...air.

After winning the competition, she did manage to rock her way to the hospital where doctors were required to amputate her toe.

In response to having one less phalange, she told CNN:

"I've got nine more."

Fellas, this is one you want to bring home to Mother. The life forms behind me ...