Weekend Eye Candy - Jailbait Edition

I check the logs, so I know what you may only suspect - we get a big bump in visits to the MB on Friday morning. Now it might be that's when everyone thinks, "Gee - I wonder what's going on with the MarlinBlog", but we both know what it is - the Weekend Eye Candy.

The last few weeks have included a couple of women who are older than your usual eye candy. Certainly not old by any reasonable standards, they were apparently still too old for at least one of our commenters, who seems to appreciate a younger kind of beauty. He should be pretty happy about now.

Let me introduce this week's beauty, Hayden Panettiere. Until recently, she was better known as part of Paris Hilton's posse rather than as a working actress. Lately, though, she's gotten a lot of press for her role in "Heroes" - you remember ... "save the cheerleader, save the world"?

Anyway she's a photogenic blonde with a big smile, and usually that's enough to get her this coveted spot. But she also has what it takes for this special edition of the Eye Candy - she's only seventeen.

Zip 'em up, boys ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:22 AM PST [link]

You Want To Bleach Your What???

I love people. They're a constant source of amusement, mostly because so many of them are so stupid. Living here in California, the traditional home of fruits, nuts, and flakes, we get a first-hand look at just how silly the silliest can be. But now and again, even I can be amazed ...

Bloggers and tabloids love Californians for all the fodder they provide, but the real beneficiaries of the stupidity of the Golden State are reality shows. Sure, the most colorful participants tend to be those toothless fellers from down in the holler, but Cali provides the lion's share - especially if vapid beauties are what you're looking for.

So I'm spending a little time last night mindlessly channel surfing, and I come across a scene that stops me in my tracks. There on the screen is a woman, probably in her early thirties but with the world-weary look you get from too much hard living or too much plastic surgery - or both. She's perched on a medical examination table on all fours, ass in the air, wearing nothing but a blouse. Another woman walks up and while making happy small talk, starts to apply a substance to the first woman's butt. She's painting her like her ass was a canvas and her bunghole was a target. "What the hell ... ?", I'm thinking, wondering if I'd stumbled on some obscure local cable access show. Nope - it's E! Television's reality show, "Dr. 90210", and what we're watching is an elective medical procedure referred to as "anal bleaching" - I kid you not.

Now I'll admit that I don't spend a lot of time staring at assholes - other than the metaphorical sense - but apparently there's a certain percentage of the population whose little pink bunghole is surrounded by a darker pigmented area. For at least some of those folks, this is an area of embarassment, and they feel the need to take steps to remedy the situation. Enter anal bleaching, which is exactly what it sounds like - skin bleaching around the vent, leaving a pleasant-looking bottom.

I'm no expert, but if given my choice as showing my brown bung hole to someone I love versus a perfect stranger with a paint brush, I'm going to depend on love. But then, the whole plastic surgery things leave me baffled - just ask anyone whose gone through breast augmentation about how painful it is. All to have a man who didn't respect you before respect you even less with your bolt-on tittles.

But at least you'll have a sparking clean asshole ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:33 PM PST [link]

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time ...

After Tuesday's whine ... er, rant ... about my life, I decided to take action. Well, to be more accurate, the IT Gods did. I got a notice Tuesday afternoon that our developmental computer systems would be down all day on Wednesday for disaster recovery testing. If that's not a sign to take a day off, I don't know what is. So I immediately declared Wednesday to be a vacation day - no work, no blogs, no nothing. I went to bed Tuesday with the alarm off and dreams of what I'd do all day Wednesday instead of working.

I woke up around 7:30 and was just finishing the first cup of coffee when my doorbell rings. There at the door were three guys dressed in the traditional orange of city workers. They tell me they're here to work on my cable. Confused, since my system seems to be working just fine, I asked what the problem was. "We're replacing all the cable runs," they say. Sounds like a colossal waste of time and money, but they're not leaving. Then comes the good part - they need me to be there so they can get access to wherever the cable goes. I spend all morning and part of the afternoon watching these guys punch holes in my house and run new cables - rather than doing the things I want to do. Then I get the call on my cell reminding me that I have a pair of telecons scheduled for 1PM and 2PM, and even though I'm technically on vacation, they really hope I can participate. Before you know it, I've spent three hours on the phone, the sun is setting and I'm wondering where the day went.

Look - I at least tried to spend a day away from the job. That should count for something, right?

BTW - I did a little research into the whole cable thing. Turns out that when Time Warner bought Adelphia and had to renegotiate with each of the cities, Redondo Beach added a caveat to the contract that TW had to verify that all the cable in their system met current code requirements for grounding and whatnot. Apparently, TW decided it was easier to just hire a bunch of contract crews to replace all the runs. They've only just started the process, but already over 70 residents have filed complaints over the way in which the work is being done. Sounds like one more case of a councilman trying to make a name for himself by getting his "victory" over big business - only its his constituents who will have to pay for it. I will have to give them credit - they did a good job with my wiring, and even routed the wires the way my old ones had been done - something I had to pay extra for last time.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:18 AM PST [link]

Wanted: A Life. Inquire Within

I've said it before in this blog, but it bears repeating - I love my job. I've been in aerospace for pushing 25 years, and I've never had a position that provided such a mix of enjoyment and challenge, satisfaction and responsibility. I come to work every day knowing I'm working on something that will significantly impact the way we build satellites (hopefully for the better), and that the decisions I make will dictate the direction of the system. It's a very powerful feeling.

Unfortunately, with that power comes commitment. I'm basically the only person on the planet who understands the software we are developing, having been the focal for the last year and a half. That means that if there's a difficult question that needs answering, or a decision that needs to be made, I have to answer it or make it. I like to think I have a flexible schedule, but the only real flexibility is that I can vary where I physically do my job since all I really need is a dataport, my laptop and a cellphone. The reality is that I may technically have work hours, but I'm never truly off the clock.

As we approach our May system rollout, that is becoming more apparent than ever. I spend all day in meetings, telecons, webexs and the like, trying to squeeze in a few testing sessions along the way. About the time the sun goes down, I get the "opportunity" to try and develop some of the documentation we need to provide with the product, or refine the training methods - for which I'm also responsible. I can't escape the job even when I sleep, as more often than I'd like to admit I dream of the problems we are having or could have in the future. I really should dream about a good night's sleep, since it's been a long time since I've had one of those.

It would be worse except that I love the job so much. I guess you could say it's one of those cases where you should be careful what you ask for, since I specifically volunteered for the position. I just didn't realize how it would dominate my life. I've always been one of those folks who is usually out of vacation time, since I use most of it for marlin fishing. I got word yesterday that if I don't use some vacation time in the next few weeks, I'll be at 320 hours - my maximum - and will stop accruing new time. For those of you keeping track, 320 hours is 40 days, or 8 weeks. I could leave now and not come back for two months and still be even. If only. I'm reduced to having to take a day here and there during the week, but it's a vacation in name only. I'm still doing the same things I do at work, only instead I do them at home. I have an invitation to fish in a pair of billfish tourneys this spring, one in Mexico and one on the East Coast, and there's not a chance in hell I can take the time to do it. And I won't even talk about what my hours are doing to my social life and waistline ...

Somehow, I need to find some balance in my life. It's easy to tell yourself that you are essential to the job and if you're not there progress won't happen. Even if it's true, the program would be a lot worse off if I drop dead from overwork. Anyone with suggestions, feel free to comment!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:35 PM PST [link]

Look - It's A Sports Rant!

A rare weekend away from the computer let me do two things all too rare these days - work on my roses, and watch some sports. Both generated comments, but I'll save the roses for later ...

- I understand that not all golfers keep their tempers under control - hell, I've thrown my share of clubs. But nothing can possibly justify the stunt pulled by Sergio Garcia after missing a putt on the 13th hole Sunday at Doral. Irritated that he had just missed a putt that would have pulled him closer to eventual winner Tiger Woods, Garcia leaned over and spat into the cup. Asked about it later, he tried to dismiss the incident

"I just missed that putt and wasn't too happy,'' he said.

I'm sorry, but in a sport where players call penalties on themselves when no one else is around, this kind of childish behavior just isn't acceptable. It's not often that the PGA is called upon to discipline a player, but this is certainly one of those times. Just don't count on Commissioner Tim Finchem to do so - he's too busy kissing the asses of the players and sponsors to even think of taking on a leadership role ...

- Did you catch Colts QB Peyton Manning on Saturday Night Live? If you missed it, I'm sorry - it was hilarious. Don't get me wrong - SNL sucks and should have been cancelled a decade ago. But every once in a while, they pull out a nugget of gold and this was one of those times. From Peyton calling out his mother as the family failure for not making it in the NFL to a bogus United Way commercial with Manning berating a group of youngsters, it was a classic ...

- This weekend's NASCAR race was the first for the so-called "Car of Tomorrow" - the sanctioning body's attempt at raising safety and competition while lowering overall costs. The reviews of the COT by drivers weren't good heading into the race, but the cars seemed to perform well on the admittedly one-dimensional track at Bristol. Racing was solid, the cars held up well and those that crashed seem to protect the drivers better than the current car. They'll have to wait for a superspeedway for a real test, but most of the drivers seemed to be coming around. Most, but not race winner Kyle Busch. His comments on the car that had just taken him to victory? "They suck" ...

- After watching ESPN's crew of Mike Tirico, Tony Kornheiser and Joe Theismann try to fill the mighty big shoes left by Al Michaels and John Madden, I think we all knew there'd be changes to the Monday Night Football broadcast. Kornheiser in particular was week, with his lack of football knowledge leaving many longing for the days of Dennis Miller. So it was no surprise today when ESPN announced a change to the broadcast team. The shock was that Joe Theismann, rather than Kornheiser, would be the one replaced. Ron Jaworksi, ex-Eagles and Rams QB and an excellent studio analyst, will take Joe's spot next season. Theismann "will be offered a significant position" with ESPN - TV-speak for "the door's that way". Kornheiser is outstanding on Pardon The Interruption, but I can't imagine that trading Theismann for Jaws will make things better. Of course, if Tony was simply intimidated by Joe, then maybe ... nah!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 02:32 PM PST [link]

Admin Note Re: SPAM

I'm a tech guy, but there are certain tech elements that make me want to reach out and strangle someone. At the head of the list is unwanted electronic solicitations, otherwise referred to as Spam.

Most of us with email accounts have encountered spam, but with decent email filters the problem isn't as bad as it used to be (although, if you're a webmaster like me you still get nearly 500 a day ...). A lesser known problem is the spamming of posting boards and other interactive features by spambots that look for weaknesses and exploit them. At one time or another, every interactive feature here at SCMO has been hit, and now it's the MB's turn.

Earlier this morning, I saw that there was a whole bunch of new comments. Knowing that I only have so many readers, I suspected the worst - a suspicion that was confirmed once I checked out the comments. It took nearly an hour to remove all the links to sites selling porn, viagra, and other unsavory items.

Fortunately, the Greymatter program running our blog has pretty good anti-spam features that I can turn on, but they will require a bit of patience on the part of our posters. From now on, when you attempt to post a comment, you'll be asked to enter a phrase ("MarlinBlog") that will help convince the program that you're a real person with real opinions, and not some spambot.

I apologize for the additional steps, but hopefully this will keep our blog clean ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:50 PM PST [link]

You See Bait ... I See Eye Candy

I take a lot of crap about the MarlinBlog, most of which centers around why it isn't about fishing. The answer, of course, it that I have entire goddamn site about marlin fishing, and I need a place to vent about other things. But I do appreciate the position taken by those who can't handle thoughts that aren't fishing-related, and I want to do my part to address their concerns.

So this week, instead of the usual Hot Babe Friday, I present something all fishermen can appreciate - bait ... in this case, sturgeon roe. Threaded onto a small treble, it's a wonderful bait for all sorts of freshwater fish - perch, sunfish, even the occasional trout would love a chance to nibble on this rare treat. Sure, it stinks if you leave it in the sun too long, but look on the bright side - it makes a great snack if you forget your lunch!

Oh, who am I kidding? You don't really think I give a damn about the fish eggs do you? It's all about the packaging, baby ... in this case, the lovely Italian star Monica Bellucci - who, I might add, is aging far more gracefully than the caviar she's currently wearing. She's 42, and as hot as ever. I'm not a big fan of caviar, but I could learn to appreciate it if it came served in this fashion. But technically, it is fish bait, so maybe now the hardcores can cut me a little slack. Hell, most of them won't be able to look past the bait to realize it's smeared on a great rack, anyway ...

However, right about now, Bob Hoose is on the horn to the Pure Fishing home office, telling them he has a great idea for a new flavor of Gulp! ... or at least a new way to display it for advertising ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:21 PM PST [link]

Good To See Those Anger Management Classes Work ...

Mel Gibson is a troubled dude. Seems every time he opens his mouth lately, someone's right there waiting to shove something in it - usually, Mel himself with his foot. Just when the hubbub was dying down over his drunken slurs, he steps in it again.

Last night, Mel was speaking at a CSUN film class when someone - Gibson's people claim it was a heckler but the press says it was a CSUN professor Alicia Estrada - accused him of portraying the Mayans in a racist fashion in his native epic Apocalypto. Mel didn't take lightly to her comments, and let her - and everyone present - see just how he felt, according to TMZ.com ...

Estrada persisted, stating that representations in the movie that the Mayans engaged in sacrificial ceremonies and had bloodthirsty tendencies were both wrong and racist. Estrada and others tell TMZ that Gibson exploded in anger, responding, "Lady, fuck off."

We're told Gibson also became extremely angry when members of the Mayan community protested on how they were portrayed in the film. The emotional Mayan members were escorted out of the room, and we're told Gibson screamed a parting shot -- "Make your own movie!"

When I first saw Gibson in "Lethal Weapon", his over-the-top portrayal always seemed a little too lifelike for comfort. Clearly, this is a guy with a short fuse and even less patience for any opinion other than his own. Good thing he makes his own movies, since I can't imagine him appearing in anyone else's any time soon.

On the bright side, at least he didn't call this one "Sugartits" ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:02 PM PST [link]

Capitalistic Conundrum

You'd have to say that, on the whole, capitalism has served America well. It drove the Industrial Revolution, built the war machine that won World War II, and transformed the United States from third-rate hacks to a true world power. But cracks are appearing in the capitalistic facade, and one can't help but wonder if the infrastructure is about to collapse.

By now, everyone has seen Howard Schultz's epiphany memo in which be bemoans the fact that, somewhere on the road to 13,000 Starbucks outlets, the company lost its soul. Barristas gave way to automatic espresso machines, fresh ground coffee was replaced with regional warehouses full of product, and the Starbucks "experience" - the one thing on which the brand was built - was seriously compromised. Little decisions, each of which made sense at the time, ultimately led to a dilution of the product - one which could only be seen in hindsight. It's the death of a thousand cuts - each one isn't fatal, but the net result is nonetheless death. It remains to be seen if Schultz can put the genie back in the bottle, but his is not a unique experience. I can share one from closer to home.

I've talked before about my rose garden. I don't have much of a back yard, but it's totally green. One of my favorite stress relievers is to hand water the roses - an opportunity to, for at least a little while, forget the troubles of the day. Because the experience is important, I took the time to get the right tools. Ten years ago, when I first started planting roses, I went through a pretty exhaustive process to select just the right garden hose and sprayer. I went through quite a few before selecting a setup that has served me well - a Colorite WaterWorks 100-ft hose and a Sears Craftsman nozzle. I liked the hose for its high rubber content - important when you're dragging it around the yard and need it to bend without kinking. And the nozzle is built out of machined parts to perform just like a fire hose - it rocks.

Like all good things, though, time took their toll. Last week, I wanted to take the nozzle off to use just the hose, but it was fused to the brass hose end due to corrosion. My attempts to remove it only resulted in breaking the hose. Being anal, I wasn't going to go through the research process again, so I marched off to buy the same items. I brought them home and hooked them up, but something wasn't right - they just weren't the same as the ones they were replacing, even though they were the exact same models. The rubber hose had given way to a stiffer vinyl model that kinks and refuses to bend properly, while the nozzle just doesn't have the same machined precision (perhaps related to the "Made in China" label that wasn't on it's predecessor). Yeah, they're the same - but they're not the same.

Now, I don't think either company made the conscious decision to make a shitty product and try to pass it off on the customer. Rather, little decisions - innocuous all by themselves - add up to create these little piles of crap. A few years back, someone probably decided to save a couple of pennies by slightly altering the rubber content of the hose. A couple of seasons later, they did it again - and again a few years after that - each time saving a little more money. Meanwhile, over at the Craftsman management center they were seeing how cheap similar items were being sold at WalMart. Sure, the quality wasn't there, but hey - a buck is a buck, right? So they stop making the pieces in Wisconsin and start getting them from China - no one will know the difference.

Except me.

In the free enterprise system, there's no check and balance other than the market. Your only vote is with your dollars, and apparently we choose to go for cheap over quality. The system just gives us what we want, but what happens when we decide we want quality and it's just not there anymore? Some outsider will find a way to provide it to us - but at what price? Our souls?

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:08 PM PST [link]

Stupid Activist Tricks

I respect anyone who believes so strongly in something that they are willing to take action on their beliefs, even if I personally disagree with those beliefs. Activism in any form is an admirable trait in humans - the willingness to put something ahead of our own self-interests being a big part of what sets us apart from other species.

That said, I have to scratch my head in wonder at some of the positions that are periodically taken my activists. When I see someone sit in a tree for a year to prevent it being cut down, or chain themselves together and allow themselves to be dragged off to jail, I can't help but ask if they fully thought out the ramifications of their actions on their own lives.

Recently, a pair of polar bear cubs in a German zoo were abandoned by their mother and left to starve. One cub in fact did die, so the zookeepers stepped in and began to feed and care for the remaining cub themselves. The public has adopted the little white ball of fur named Knut, referred to in the media as "Cute Knut".

Animal activists, who are understandably concerned about the plight of polar bears in the wild, had a strong opinion regarding the cub - but maybe not the opinion you would expect.

"Feeding by hand is not species-appropriate but a gross violation of animal protection laws," animal rights activist Frank Albrecht was quoted as saying by the mass-circulation Bild daily, which has featured regular photo spreads tracking fuzzy Knut's frolicking.

"The zoo must kill the bear."

WTF???? Kill the bear?? This coming from the same kind of folks who break into research labs to "liberate" the test animals and throw blood on women with fur coats. Talk about your mixed messages ...

I might understand their concern if this was a wild animal, and the intention was to try and return it to the wild - although, there are many successful programs that do just that. But this is a zoo bear - it's purpose in life was going to be to educate the public and hopefully teach them to respect the bears in the wild. I'm betting images of Knut rolling around on webcams worldwide will do a hell of a lot more for the plight of the polar bear than the rantings of idiots like Albrecht.

I guess this is what happens if you don't get enough meat in your diet ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:35 AM PST [link]

Brand X In My Backyard

If you're an aviation buff, then today's a big day in LA. In about a half hour, an Airbus A380 - the newly-crowned largest airliner in the world - will touch down at LAX for the first time. The test flight is one of two demonstrations today (the other is in New York) that are intended to show off the new supersized airliner for the US public.

I have mixed feelings about the A380. As a airplane fanatic, I think it's a great event - a first time occurance many in the LA media are comparing to the first arrival for the Concorde back in 1974. As a Boeing employee, however, I have to remember that it's an Airbus - or as we them here, Brand X. Airbus is the mongoose to the Boeing cobra; for years, the two have squared off for supremecy in commercial airliners. On a more personal note, the software I'm working to implement is the same program Boeing intends to use to build the new 787 Dreamliner, whose primary purpose is to kick the A380's ass. So while I can respect the technological triumph, there's a part of me who hopes it bellyflops into Santa Monica Bay ...

Up to this point, the A380 has had a star-crossed evolution. I'm pretty sure these are the only two planes in existance, and production problems required that they were essentially hand built. Production delays have pushed back the first delivery by two years, and have cost two successive Airbus CEOs their jobs. And, best of all, customers are dropping their initial A380 orders in favor of Boeing 777s and 747s. Their troubles are our triumphs.

That said, it should make for an interesting event. The beast will actually be parked about 300 yards away from where I'm currently sitting. I may even sneak over for a peek - once I remove my badge, of course ...

UPDATE: Looks like it made it ...

As a loyal Boeing employee, I was at my desk, but several made the trip to the north side of the airport to see it land. They were surprised by several things - the wingspan (really wide) and the noise (really quiet). They also noted that it was flying in Airbus livery, which makes you think it was probably the original prototype. The initial plan was to fly a single A380 to New York - a Lufthansa version - but LAX pitched such a bitch - reminding them that it will be the first US home for A380 flights - that they scheduled the second flight only a couple of weeks back. Looks like they had to pull out the test plane for the run.

All told, an impressive achievement by The Other Guys, and worthy of a grudging "well done" ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:28 AM PST [link]

Summer's Coming ... And I've Got The Eye Candy To Prove It!

With the shift this week to Daylight Savings Time and the longer evenings, one could easily be fooled into thinking it was summer time. But all you have to do is flip on the TV and see that the winter sports are still being played to be returned to reality.

What does this have to do with eye candy? I'm glad you asked. Last night, Carmen Electra - Baywatch babe, dancer, Playboy favorite - was at the Kings game to raise money for her charity group. As I waited for her to drop the ceremonial puck, it dawned on me that even in a bulky Kings jersey, even deep into her thirties, Carmen is still pretty hot.

This morning, I found this picture from a recent photoshoot that confirms my theory. At least I think so - click on the pic and you tell me!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:13 AM PST [link]

Eire's To You!

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, the traditional Irish holiday. I can't see the future, but as a good Irishman, I can predict that songs will be sung, beer will be drunk and corned beef and cabbage will be eaten.

The real irony is that corned beef isn't an Irish tradition - it's an Irish-American tradition. When immigrants from Ireland fleeing the potato famine arrived in New York, they had little experience with beef - that was the rich man's meat. But the local Jewish merchants sold an inexpensive beef brisket that had been cured, and soon corned beef was a newfound favorite.

People of all ethnic groups will share in the celebration tomorrow, donning the green calling themselves Irish for the day. Frankly, I enjoy the welcoming attitude we Irish show towards all our temporary kin. Somehow, I can't imagine it would be the same story were I to wear blackface on MLK day or dress as a bandito on Cinco de Mayo. But we just smile, make a friendly joke about the "black irish" ... and ask that you pay for our next Black and Tan ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:52 AM PST [link]

Another Proud LA Moment

Steve Harvey noted in his LA Times column this morning the story of a man who was sideswiped on Laurel Canyon Boulevard by a motorist who was simultaneously talking on a cellphone and writing in her checkbook, which she was balancing on the steering wheel.

He said that when he caught up with her and called out, she yelled impatiently. ‘I’m on the [bleeping] phone!’ The man, however, noticed a nearby police officer, who pulled the woman over.

In her back seat were two small children, neither of whom was wearing a seat belt. ‘Oh, we never do,’ one of the kids was overheard saying.”

They claim we have the best drivers in the world in Los Angeles. They never said we had the smartest ones ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:27 PM PST [link]

A Different Kind of Rainbow Warrior

As I write this, Angelina Jolie is headed home from Viet Nam with her latest adopted child. Pax Thien Jolie will join his adopted siblings, one each from Cambodia and Africa, as well as Jolie's natural child born from her relationship with Brad Pitt.

Being a relatively conservative person, there's a lot to dislike about Jolie and her life choices. There's her previous relationship with Billy Bob Thornton (remember the blood sample necklaces?), and the rapidly multiplying tattoos, and the willingness to have children with Pitt but not marry him. Then there's the ongoing feud with her father, Jon Voight.

But to judge her in this fashion would sell her short. Unlike the typically short-sighted decisions that seem to accompany celebrity, Jolie is making calculated, considered decisions. She travels the world as an ambassador for the United Nations - and not one of those celebrity wannabees. She's been to some of the toughest places on the planet, willing to roll up her sleeves to see what must be seen, and has even been a kidnap target for her dedication to the job. She's the real deal.

Put in context, even her personal decisions begin to show a logical pattern. She and Pitt recently moved to New Orleans to show support for the beleagured city, and the publicity generated helps keep the Big Easy in the public eye. Her mixed race brood, a United Nations of a different kind, seems to form a new kind of Rainbow Coalition. Strange as it seems, it sends the message that we are more similar than we are different, and if we can't work together, we'll fail.

OK, maybe I'm reading more into it than there is. Maybe she just likes seeing different faces. But I think there is a method to the madness, and I'm waiting to see what happens next ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 11:16 AM PST [link]

Rock and Roll Never Forgets ...

It's been an interesting week for a couple of '70s arena rock bands, with both good and bad news.

Every garage band dreams of success, but just how do you measure success for a band? Money? Platinum albums? Chicks? Certainly one way is to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Admittedly, the honorees can be hit-and-miss, as some who are admitted are questionable and others who belong are overlooked.

But imagine if a band got the call that they were to be inducted into the Hall, and when the Committee opened the door no one was there to be honored? That's pretty much what happened with Van Halen last night. Without question, VH belongs in the HOF. At a time when disco dominated the airwaves, the first notes from "Eruption" on the debut album told you the revolution had started. Powered by the Van Halen brothers and bassist Michael Anthony, and fronted by ultimate showman David Lee Roth - assless pants and all - VH redefined hard rock with a series of successful albums from 1976 to 1984. Eddie Van Halen's two-handed tapping method - so unique he initially turned his back to the crowd during solos to protect the secret - completely changed the way the electric guitar was played.

As is often the case in high energy bands, time led to turmoil, and the '80s saw a change in singers with Sammy Hagar replacing Roth. The sound was different ("Van Hagar" scoffed the old schood fans), but the success only grew. But even that couldn't be maintained, and by the end of the decade the band had fractured again. Over the years, various high-profile attempts at reconciliation - and equally high-profile meltdowns - have occured, and in theory the band plans to tour in some form once Eddie gets out of rehab. The fractuous nature of the band, however, meant that only Hagar and Anthony - both of whom are not part of the touring plans - were on hand for the HOF ceremony.

At about the same time as Van Halen was honing their chops in LA, a group of bar band veterans were forming on the east coast. Part of a community of musicians who constantly shifted lineups in an attempt to find the magic, this particular group - led by guitarist Tom Scholz and singer Brad Delp - caught lightning in a bottle. Recording in the studio built by Scholz with the profits from his day job with Polaroid, the group took the name of their town - Boston - and the rest is history. Still one of the best selling records in history, the combination of Scholz's layered guitar riffs and Delp's powerful voice rendered a series of classic tunes. It was a difficult sound to create, though, and while there were only a few years between the first two albums, the wait between each new disc got larger and larger. By the time their third album "Third Stage" was released, time - and music - had moved on. They still had their fans, but not the success they had seen. This band, too, had personnel issues, and Scholz is the only member who lasted through the years.

There was talk of a Boston reunion tour, but that was dashed with the news last week of the death of Brad Delp. Delp, 55, was found dead in his New Hampshire home of presumed natural causes. Another voice silenced, but the music will live on forever.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:42 AM PST [link]

Not A Good Sign

As I walked out to the car this morning, I could smell smoke on the air. A uniquely pungent aroma, it was presumably from the Anaheim Hills fire, fifty miles east of the Home Office.

Somewhere, someone is having a bad Monday ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:47 AM PST [link]

Spring Training Eye Candy

As hard as it might be to imagine, spring training has arrived for the teams of Major League Baseball. How can that be - I'm still waiting for winter!

Anyway, while the Boys of Summer toil in the springtime heat in Florida and Arizona, honing their skills and removing the rust, here's a little reminder for you courtesy of the folks at Sports Illustrated. It's Anne V from the Swimsuit Issue a couple of years back, reminding us all that it's important to pull for your favorite team.

Now I'm certainly no Cubs fan. My favorite Cubs memory is of the Marlins beating them in the 2003 NLCS (you remember ... the "Bartman" series?) on the way to giving the Yankees a solid ass-whipping. But while I may not be a fan of the team, I'm a fan of their fans - particularly when their Cubs uni is applied in bodypaint. Don't believe me? Just click!

Bet that gets a rise in the ol' Dodgerdog ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:55 PM PST [link]

A Little Too Close For Comfort

The part of Redondo Beach where the Home Office resides includes a lot of rental property, so you never really know who your neighbors will be or, more importantly, how they'll act. We got a pretty disturbing demonstration of that yesterday ...

This has been a long week for me. After two days of teaching 6-hour Velocity classes, all I wanted to to yesterday afternoon was plop my fat ass on the couch and relax. As I'm driving south on Aviation towards home, I notice a helicopter circling in the distance. Being a news junkie, I can tell the difference between the news choppers and a police unit, and I could see as I approached that this was an LA County Sherriff unit. I could also see it was alarmingly close to the Home Office.

A left on Ocean and a right on Green brings me close to Pullman and home. But before I could make the last left turn, I see a police unit parked in the intersection of Green and Belmont, and another a block further. Yellow tape blocks access to the area, and the chopper continues to spin tightly overhead. I get out of the car on the driveway and notice that the Home Office is close enough to whatever is happening that I'm within the orbit of the chopper. I went about my business, but it was a surreal scene to have the peaceful experience of watering my roses interrupted every 30 seconds by the whine of the chopper as it passed just above the roofline. I'd look up and every time, there was the deputy and his rifle - looking right back at me.

Soon enough, the chopper flew off and the excitement died down. It wasn't until I saw this morning's paper that I learned the full story:

Police cordoned off a Redondo Beach neighborhood and used a helicopter and dogs during a two-hour manhunt Thursday for one of two assailants who stabbed a teenage boy, beat him with a baseball bat and made disparaging comments about his sexuality.

Police eventually found suspect Brandon Blaxland, 19, hiding at a relative's house just blocks outside a two block-containment area near Flagler and Belmont lanes in north Redondo Beach, police Sgt. Peter Grimm said.

Now I understand why I was getting the evil eye from the deputy - the Home Office is "just blocks outside a two-block containment area". For the record, one block north and one and a half west of that intersection.

Never a dull moment here ...

As for the crime itself, I'm a big believer in free speech, and we'll probably have a separate discussion about it here in the future (in a nutshell, this is America - say what you believe, but be man enough to face the consequences of your position). However, to use that right to hurl hurtful words at others is cowardly, and to then try to back up your position with a bat is evil. They may not have thought about their actions, but they still have to pay the price. Lock 'em up - and while you're at it, take this jackass, too:

Two girls, who said they had been in the car, sat together on the curb as police examined the vehicle late Thursday afternoon. One girl's father told the pair not to speak to a reporter.

"It's just kids being stupid," he said.

Here's hoping he's just a short-term renter ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:45 PM PST [link]

Playa Rating Up, QB Rating Down, TVQ Rating Way Down ...

Tom Brady finally found out how it feels to lose when Peyton Manning and the Colts beat Brady's Patriots in the AFC Championship game. But if the tabloids are to be believed, ol' Tommy B just might have had more on his mind than football that day.

Brady, whose ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan is currently 3 months pregnant with his child, broke up with Moynahan just before the playoffs and was seen during the playoffs in the company of Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Now the usual sources are reporting that Bundchen, too, is carrying a little Brady of her own.

Now, Tom's a grown man and capable of making his own decisions, but I gotta wonder about the one's he's making now. To me, knocking up your girlfriend accidentally rates pretty high on the "List of Pathetic Man Acts", and now he's done it twice. You'd think that a guy smart enough to read a defense at the line of scrimmage would be smart enough to carry a Trojan, but apparently not. Either that, or he just doesn't care, which is even worse.

Brady probably doesn't give a rat's ass what this particular author thinks of him, but I'll bet he cares what the folks with the wheelbarrows of endorsement money think. Manning is all over the media hawking a whole variety of items, and that began long before he won the Big Game. He comes across as believable and honorable - traits important to advertisers. You have to think that this is one more area where Brady's going to find out what it means to lose ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:24 PM PST [link]

Twisting In The Breeze

It would appear that Scooter Libby has entered his final act as the latest political fall guy, as he has been convicted of lying to a grand jury in the Valerie Plame-Wilson fiasco and awaits sentencing. Facts aside - since we'll never know what they are anyway - this whole episode plays out like some kind of bad Shakespearian tragedy.

On one side, Dick Cheney - arrogance personified - whose years of unfettered power have made him forget he's not the president - or perhaps he simply doesn't care. His willingness to throw Scooter under the wheels of the Vice-Presidential bus and watch as it rolled over him smacks of cowardice.

On the other side, Joe Wilson, an anonymous ambassador whose wife apparently wore the pants in the family until he decided to publicly stab the administration in the back over its Iraq policy. He can barely contain his glee at the way Cheney took the bait and reacted by childishly outing his wife's CIA cover. Now he's the toast of the talk show circuit, someone people want to listen to - and pay to listen to. He's struck gold, and is grabbing it with both hands.

Then there's the Democratic-run congress, which watches the administration blunder once again and smells blood. There's political hay to be made, and they all have brand-new pitchforks. "What did they know and when did they know it" - those familiar words from the Nixon era waft down from Capitol Hill once again as a new generation of politicians look to make a reputation for themselves.

I was too young to appreciate all the subtleties of the Watergate era, but I can't believe that the relationships between politicians then could have been any worse than it is now. Everyone's looking for someone to take down, and in the end, we all lose. All this effort that could be used to solve the real problems of our generation is instead wasted on hearings and coverups and press conferences.

And people wonder why the average American holds politicians in such low esteem ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:35 AM PST [link]

Culinary Consideration

I was pondering a question of deep philosophical merit earlier today, so I thought I would share it with you ...

Is there any food in the world that manages to combine great taste and great usefulness as well as a good enchilada sauce?

I found myself in this position through a rare alignment of the planets in my life. Not only did my schedule let me eat lunch somewhere near lunchtime, but I actually had enough time to go to a favorite restaurant. And to me, "favorite restaurant" is probably going to mean Mexican, and it's definitely going to be authentic. By authentic, of course, I not only mean that it tastes great, but that the place has earned no higher than a "C" on the rating card from the Health Department. Clean restaurants and great Mexican food just don't mix well.

Anyway, I was enjoying what turned out to be a decent carne asada burrito when it hit me - the burrito was only OK, but the red sauce made it great. There's just something magic about a good enchilada sauce; it's like the glue that ties the whole Mexican food experience together. Put it on a burrito, a tamale - heck, even an enchilada - and the whole thing will taste great. I'm one of those guys who believes that while there is good Mexican food and great Mexican food, there's no such thing as bad Mexican food - and enchilada sauce is part of the reason. I'm convinced I could soak my TopSiders in red sauce and they'd make a tasty dinner.

See - I told you it was deep ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:32 PM PST [link]

Theraputic My Ass ... :-)

You just knew someone stupid would step up and give me something to talk about. This morning, there was a major security alert at LAX when a man with some suspicious accessories triggered the security folks' attention. Turns out he had wires coming out of his ... rectum.

Al-Maliki told investigators the objects have therapeutic properties, and that he had forgotten to remove them before reaching the security checkpoint. They were described as a magnet wrapped with a piece of gum in a napkin and then coiled with wire; and some kind of round, polished stone.

It takes a lot to leave me speechless ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:05 PM PST [link]

Nose, Meet Grindstone

That sound you hear (and will likely hear most of the rest of the week) isn't really crickets. It's just me, swamped and unable to get time for the ol' MB. I had a benchtrending visit to another site today, and I'll be teaching Velocity classes tomorrow and Thursday. Hard to find time to make entries, much less keep my ear to the ground to listen for interesting tidbits to pass along. Fear not, though ... I'm sure I'll find time to share something.

Oh, and for those who might worry about such things - I already have the Friday Eye Candy picked out ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:57 PM PST [link]

Programming a TV Network - So Easy a Caveman Could Do It

Much as we hate to admit it, stereotypes happen for a reason. Whatever the stereotype, enough people have seen examples of it to accept the stereotype as fact. Try as we may to delete the stereotype, the perpetual reinforcement we see in our daily lives is sufficient for it to live on.

So it is for major TV networks. Branded as a "vast wasteland" by pundits, their leaders counter with stories about the intelligent, gripping dramas, amusing comedies and insightful specials that they provide. They do such a good job, we almost forget the stereotype. Then, one of their brethren pulls a stunt like this, and it's the boob tube all over again.

Variety is reporting that ABC has greelit a pilot for a series based on - wait for it - GEICO Insurance's pitchmen, the Easily Irritated Cavemen. Supposedly living among us and perpetually incensed at the ads that state "So Easy a Caveman Could Do It," the popularity of the neanderthalic stars is such that they just might get their own show.

"Although the project is at a nascent stage -- there's no script and no cast -- plans call for the comedy to be titled "Cavemen" and focus on a trio of prehistoric characters who battle prejudice in modern-day Atlanta. Walt Disney Co.'s ABC will pay for the pilot and show, if one eventually materializes. Geico, a unit of Berkshire Hathaway Inc., will have no creative control but will receive a royalty payment for the use of the character.

"We sell car insurance; we don't make TV shows," says Ted Ward, Geico's vice president of marketing. "We are excited to have an opportunity to do brand extension."

That sound you just heard? That was the other shoe dropping from your purchase of a TiVo unit. It was inevitable that as we learn how to avoid commercials, the admen find ways to so integrate the message with the medium that any attempt to remove it would kill the host. First it was the product placements, which become more blatant with each passing season. Now this. You can almost see the next step ... "Lost sponsored by Find.com". Ironically, that's just how it was in the dawn of television. Remember "The Jello Show starring Jack Benny"?

Leave it to TV to rip off itself as its busy ripping off someone else. The sad part is the willingness to be a patsy in such an crassly commercial venture. I guess no one really cares about quality, or the audience, any more. Not sure why I'm surprised ...

Here's hoping they're at least better than "Baby Bob" ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:21 PM PST [link]

Something We Don't See Every Day

No matter where you live, you have to face a certain number of natural disasters. In the midwest, it's tornados; in the east, hurricanes. For those of us living on the west coast, we face the trifecta - earthquakes, smog and forest fires.

Here at the Home Office in Redondo Beach, we have it pretty good. The ground is relatively stable, the ocean breezes keep the smog at bay, and we're a long way from the woods. So imagine my surprise when a forest fire hit Redondo Beach yesterday!

OK, it's not as bad as it sounds, but it was still pretty strange. I was driving home from one of the seemingly infinite number of home improvement store runs I make each weekend, heading north on Hawthorne Boulevard approaching Sepulveda, when I noticed some pretty significant smoke rising off to the west. Being a news whore, I was attracted much like the moth to a flame, so I turned west on Sepulveda and headed towards the increasingly meanacing smoke.

About this time, traffic is starting to bunch up as a number of fire engines scream past. Looking out the windshield, I can see the trees in the Redondo Beach Wilderness Park - a little bit of country right in the middle of the city. It's a favorite of scouts and students; a little dink of a campground only the size of a couple of standard home lots. But it has a pond, a natural amphetheatre and a nice stand of tall pine trees. Only today, instead of gracefully swaying in the breeze, the pines are ablaze from base to tip, with big ol' flames blasting out the treetops - something right out of a Smokey the Bear commercial.

To be honest, it looked pretty nasty. Even from a couple of blocks away, you could see multiple fire sources on the ground, and those with houses surrounding the park were in serious jeopardy. Hats off the the fire units from Torrance, Hermosa and Redondo that managed to limit the fire to just the stand of trees; they had it out in about 20 minutes.

You just never know what you'll see in La-La Land!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:33 AM PST [link]

Eye Candy - Oscar Style Part II

You know, I made it through the whole week without boasting about my Oscar predictions. Well, almost ...

So, how did I do? Glad you asked! I went 4 for 6 on the major categories, and on the two I missed I correctly predicted that it would be a close race. Unfortunately, in each case my pick got nosed out by the close competitor. Pretty darned good, if you ask me.

What does this have to do with anything? Just this - more Oscar eye candy!

Seems these days everyone complains about how today's stars just don't understand what it means to dress up and act classy like the stars of old. Pundits will point to Taylor or Hepburn and bemoan the lack of worthy successors. While I'll grant you that the average celebrity isn't worthy of picking up the gloves of Liz or Audrey, there are certainly those who get it.

I have a modest example here - Reese Witherspoon. Not only did she successfully survive the transition from child star to successful adult actress, she's done so with class. Even when her marriage was breaking down, she took the high road and managed to keep it out of the tabloids. All while looking fabulous.

Click on the pic to see just how fabulous ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 04:46 PM PST [link]

Rest in Peace ... Or Not ...

Our long national nightmare is over ... Anna Nicole Smith has been buried. TV networks can now return to their previously scheduled tabloid programming, and the rest of you can all find something to do with all your newly-spare time.

Frankly, I didn't give a rat's ass for ANS when she was alive. For my money, she was just another silicone-filled, bubbleheaded golddigger who made a living out of nothing more than being herself. Now that she's gone, I for one won't miss her, while I do respect that there are those who will.

What really worries me, though, is the reaction to her death. What kind of a statement is made about Americans by our fascination with her death and the sideshow it created. Is it really any wonder that extremists might look at us as corrupt? Hell, I see us that way, and I'm one of us!

Fortunately, some see it for what it is, as did this American tourist who happened by the graveyard ...

"She's got a presidential kind of media frenzy going on," said the 59-year-old nurse from Columbus, Ohio, who happened by the scene while waiting for nearby shops to open. "I'm just incredulous at all the fuss. She was not a world figure. She was not a queen. She was not a president. She was not anything ... It's just way over the top."

Another encouraging sign is the attempt by the AP (admittedly futile) to ignore Paris Hilton for an entire week. Leave it to her to get busted just as the week ends ... At least someone's trying to head in the right direction ...

But the body's in the ground now, tiara and all, and the hubbub should die down. Note I say "should", not will - even as the casket was being transported to the gravesite, Smith's mother was having her final attempt to move the funeral to Texas denied. And now, the long-lost father of Smith's dead son - the one whose prior burial in the Bahamas was the primary justification for Smith's interment there - is now trying to have him unearthed and moved back to a Texas graveyard. Anyone want to hazard a guess what will happen to Anna after that?

It really is sad. Our societal obsession with celebrity - and the pathetically low standard for just what makes one - does not bode well for our long term survival. Sometimes, I feel like a Roman a generation before the fall of the Empire ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 02:56 PM PST [link]