I Feel So Much Safer ...

In a hundred years or so, after the inevitable demise of that which we currently refer to as "the American Way", historians will look back to try and understand the underlying cause of the failure of our empire. On the off-chance that they will use this blog as one of their resource tools, I can save them a lot of effort by identifying the root cause of all of our troubles:

Political Correctness.

We're so terrified that something we say, something we do ... something we think ... might be deemed offensive by some miniscule splinter of society that we can't even hold a simple conversation, much less the significant debates any society needs to have as part of problem solving. There's no question in my mind that some cataclism - or just a better organized society - will arise and crush us while we're all busy apologizing to one another and calling our lawyers on speed dial.

The latest piece of evidence for the jury? The NFL - that bastion of moral leadership - has informed their teams that they can no longer use the song, "Rock and Roll Part 2" (believe me - you know it) as part of touchdown celebrations because the singer, aging English rocker Gary Glitter, has been convicted of child molestation in Vietnam.

"We've communicated to the teams that due to current events we'd like them not to play the song," NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy confirmed yesterday. "The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive. Teams understand the reason for the request."

Unless you're a hardcore British Glam Rock fan, you don't even know who the hell Gary Glitter even is, much less be in a position to possibly be influenced by his conviction. What - I'm supposed to hear the song, think about Gary, and start groping the teenager in the next seat? C'mon ...

Of course, the NFL has no problem with having its fans influenced by players who do drugs, drink and drive, abuse steroids, and God know what else ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:08 AM PST [link]

Do Not Adjust Your Set

Ever since it was announced that Katie Couric would take over as the anchor of the CBS Evening News, the network brass have gone to great lengths to emphasize the serious nature of their choice. The historical lack of opportunties for women at the network level - not to mention Couric's own fluffy past - has kept the PR department in overdrive as they prepare for next Monday's first broadcast.

So one can only imagine the horror felt at the highest levels when it was learned this morning that CBS's own graphics department had Photoshopped a published image of Katie to make her look more, well ... sexy.

They knocked about 20 lbs off the 49-yr-old Couric, and emphasized her curves. Needless to say, CBS is saying all the right things about how this was not authorized and will not be tolerated, yada, yada, yada.

It's been over 40 years since MLK called for us be to judged by character and not by other shallower attributes. Yet time and time again, no matter whether race, or gender, or religion, when the pressure is on we show just how far we have to go ...

Give 'em hell on Monday, Katie!!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:36 PM PST [link]

Uggs Update

It's pretty hard for me to wipe the smile off my face these days when I watch the Marlins play. Considering their offseason (23 of 25 players shipped out of town) and the way they started the season (11 up, 31 down), it was pretty hard to find that snappy retort for anyone who thought they'd lose 110. Hell, I would have been pleased if they kept the losses under 100.

Well, look at us now, bitch! After the terrible start, they've been one of the best teams in baseball and have told the record books to kiss their ass. Pretty much any record that involved performance by rookies will belong the the Fish by the end of the season, and there's still a realistic shot at the wild card - and you know what happened the other times they got the WC (can you say "World Champions in 1997 and 2003").

By far, though, the best story of the year has been second baseman Dan Uggla. I remember back in spring training when we were trying to figure out just who these guys in Florida unis were. Uggla stood out, if for no other reason than a memorable name that make pronounciation a veritable minefield. Considering one of the few proven major leaguers in camp was second baseman Pokey Reese, Uggla shouldn't have even made the roster. But, as a "Rule 5" pick from the DBacks, Florida had to give him back if he didn't stick. And when Reese went insane and left camp with personal issues, Uggs got his chance.

Talk about making the most of an opportunity. Not only did he make the All-Star team on his merits, he's become only the fourth player in MLB history to have at least 20 home runs and 75 RBI in his rookie year. The others? Hall of Fame members Frank Robinson and Orlando Cepeda and some guy named Pujols - who'll join those other two five years after he retires. So far, though, Uggla's keeping it all in perspective.

''Pujols was 21 when he did it, so I'm five years older,'' he said. ``But, to be next to those guys in that category means a lot to me.''

Yep ... good times in South Florida - who'da thunk it?

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:05 AM PST [link]

The Real Tragedy

It was one year ago today that Hurricane Katrina roared into New Orleans, overwhelming the aging levee system and drowning much of the town. Many lives were lost, and many more were disrupted forever. At the time, there was a lot of political fingerpointing and media handwringing, much of it occurring while residents still waited on their roofs for rescue. It was not a shining moment in American history.

Now, as we love to do with tragic anniversaries, there will once again be a lot of attention paid to the Gulf Coast and the progress – or lack thereof – made towards the lofty recovery goals voiced in those first chaotic days. Fingers will once again be pointed, and hands wrung, and the media will have an orgasmic field day. As this happens, though, there is one thing we should all keep in mind.

No matter your personal beliefs, one thing must ring true for us all – this tragedy is not about politics or levees or weather, it’s about people – people whose lives were lost, people whose lives were displaced. They must remain the most important part of the story.

At the time, many participated in relief efforts. Here at SCMO, we were able to raise over $6,500 for Katrina Relief; elsewhere far more was raised. But the need remains great, and this is a good time to dig deep in the pockets once again.

The first hurricane of the Atlantic season is currently over Cuba and is expected in Florida later today. This might be a good time for a few silent prayers …

Later this week, we’ll talk about where the real blame lies in the wake of Katrina.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:56 AM PST [link]

A-Bede-Bede-Bede-Be That’s All, Folks!

So the Boulder DA has decided not to file charges against John Mark Karr in the JonBenet Ramsey case since the physical evidence can't put him at the scene of the murder.

Didn’t I tell you this guy was a lot of bricks short of a full load? Yeah, he told tales all the way home from Thailand, but DNA doesn’t lie. I’m not sure who is more disappointed – the press, or his public defender, who was no doubt looking to stake their career claim on this case.

The press, naturally, is trying to pin the blame on the DA, but what choice did he have? This jackass was holding news conferences in Thailand to say he'd killed her. Imagine the press reaction if they hadn't dragged him back home?

And then there is the PD, who just can't pass a microphone without trying to get in his comments.

"We're deeply distressed by the fact they took this man, dragged him back here from Bangkok, Thailand, with no forensic evidence confirming the allegations against him and no independent factors leading to a presumption that he did anything wrong,"

Frankly, he just needs to shut the hell up.

Karr got far more than the fifteen minutes Warhol promised, and he should pay the price. As far as I’m concerned, they should cut his nuts off just to protect those he comes in contact with in the future. Of course, that’s assuming he has any nuts letft – have you seen this guy? He looks like he’s about two hormone shots short of starting his sexual reassignment surgery ...

The frightening thing was that this guy was teaching children ... little children ... when he was arrested ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:50 AM PST [link]

Finally - a Sane Voice in Hollywood

A common source for blog fodder - here and elsewhere - is the increasingly irresponsible behavior of Hollywood stars. From drinking too much to driving too fast to generally making an ass of themselves, many of today's performers seem to be candidates for the Letterman "Stupid Human Tricks" segment.

Of course, they don't think so - just ask them. When pushed about their antics, they tend to have more excuses than OJ - and just as deep a sense of denial. Lately, though, there's been a push-back on some of the stupidity. It began with the Lindsey Lohan letter, and continued through the recent firing of Tom Cruise by Paramount Studios (speaking of denial!).

Finally, though, a watershed moment. An honest-to-goodness Hollywood star has stood up and called out his fellow performers for their unprofessional behavior. I loved William H. Macy in "Fargo" and "ER", and he certainly has shown he has good sense - he married "Desparate Housewife" Felicity Huffman long ago. So when he commented recently on the behavior of past costar Lohan and others in the business, folks should listen.

"I think what an actor has to realize (is that) when you show up an hour late, 150 people have been scrambling to cover for you," Macy told reporters Thursday. "There is not an apology big enough in the world to have to make 150 people scramble. It's nothing but disrespect. And Lindsay Lohan is not the only one. A lot of actors show up late as if they're God's gift to the film. It's inexcusable, and they should have their asses kicked."

Wow. I wonder if LL - or any of the rest of today's so-called "stars" - will pause the party long enough to take notice. I wouldn't count on it.

That sound you hear is a hundred bloggers all exhaling a big sigh of relief ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:33 PM PST [link]

The Fallen Just Keep Falling

Note: This recovered entry was originally posted on August 8th ...

-----

You remember Maurice Clarett - the hero running back from Ohio State's championship team a couple of years back? The 2002 Fiesta Bowl was his high water mark in life, and he's been in free fall ever since. He tried - unsuccessfully - to sue his way into the NFL Draft after he was tossed out of school, and flamed out as a pick of the Denver Broncos (his most memorable moment in the NFL? Getting busted for drinking in the Broncos' workout room). He's been in and out of trouble with the law ever since and, apparently, is in trouble again.

Early this morning, Clarett was once again arrested in Columbus Ohio, this time after a police chase in which he was tazed and maced. Once a spike strip was used to convince him to stop, police found him wearing a bulletproof vest and having four loaded weapons in his SUV - a rifle and three handguns.

We don't have any idea why he had them or what, if anything, he was going to do with them," Woods said. Police don't know where Clarett got the guns or where he was headed or coming from in the SUV. Federal authorities plan to trace the guns' ownership.

A half-full bottle of vodka was found in the SUV, but no breath test was administered because police had no indication that Clarett was intoxicated, Woods said.

Clarett, 22, is currently awaiting trial on two counts of aggravated robbery, four counts of robbery and one count of carrying a concealed weapon in a separate case. Authorities said he was identified by witnesses as the person who flashed a gun and robbed two people of a cell phone in an alley behind the Opium Lounge in Columbus in the early hours of Jan. 1.

My take? This guy is obviously a trainwreck. Assuming he finds a way to dodge this, he'll find another wall to run in down the road - and another - and another - until he finally goes all the way over the edge (remember Laurence Phillips?)

Frankly, it's amazing we don't see more stories like this one. Professional sports and their illegitimate child - college sports - hold out hope and offer the brass ring to anyone they think might help them win. Often, that means taking someone who is totally unprepared from a mental or maturity standpoint and placing them in a high-pressure high-dollar cruicible. Under that intense spotlight, many shine but some crack - and when they do, all the people pulling the strings do is cluck their tongues, wring their hands and talk about what a tragedy it all is.

The real tragedy is that they don't - and won't - take a close look at what they can do to keep it from happening again ... and again.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:40 PM PST [link]

Look - It's the Sports Rant!

Yeah, I know - you're all waiting for the football season to start. But with no NFL, and USC looking to rebuild, my eyes still drift to those "minor" sports ...

- You could see this coming. Marco Andretti - son of Michael, grandson of Mario - became the youngest winner of a major open wheel auto race when he won yesterday's IndyCar at Sears Point ... er, Infineon Raceway. He used the same fuel saving strategy that Danica Patrick used to nearly steal last year's Indy 500, only this time it worked. The kids has stones the size of cantaloupes, and he'll win more than his dad or granddad - if his balls don't get him killed before he develops common sense. The real loser in all this is Danica. Everyone's been waiting for her to win, but has cut her slack since "no one wins quick in Indy". That one's out the window now. Making it tougher - they'll be teammates next year at AGR Racing ...

- The Marlins have won 7 in a row and are sniffing at a .500 record - this all coming after I declared them dead a couple of weeks back. That's what you get for listening to me. For all you Fish haters who thought they'd lose 110 - it's a mathematical impossibility for them to even lose in triple digits ... pbbbbbt! Joe Girardi has done such a good job that he should get significant love from the Manager of the Year voters, but it may not be enough to save his job. That's what happens sometimes when you are hard headed - oh, and when you tell your owner to "sit down and shut up". They could fire him, and the Fish would probably be fine next year. But Joe is gonna be a great one, and I don't want to have to watch it happen somewhere other than South Florida ...

- God loves Tiger Woods. How else can you explain his winning yesterday with what was clearly not even his 'B' game. He had a stretch of 4 straight bogeys on Saturday - only the second time in his career - and lost a three-shot lead over Stewart Cink in the last three holes yesterday. Clearly, this guy was ripe for the picking. But while you have to give Cink credit for his late-round charge, he missed two really good opportunities in the playoff. After Cink's chip from the fringe slid just wide on the third playoff hole, you could see a look on Tiger that said "let's end this". Even Steve Melnyk pointed out the obvious on the broadcast - when you get a shot at Tiger, you have to make it, because you won't get another. That's where God stepped in, unleashing a torrential rainstorm on the fourth playoff hole. When Tiger's wet approach shot found the green - and Cink's the bunker - you could see the end was near. At least Woods closed it out with a bird. Tomorrow marks his 10th anniversary as a pro, and this was his 52nd PGA tour win ... talk about domination ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:19 AM PST [link]

Weekend Eye Candy

As you head off to your weekend activities, I leave you with this little thought.

Meet Dr. Julie Ball, IGFA Representative for Virginia Beach. Apparently, she not only can recite the rules, she can exercise them as well, as she holds several IGFA World Records. And you might not have noticed it yet, but hey - that's a nice flounder.

Of course, while she's certainly qualified to appear here at SCMO, it's not her qualifications but her ... qualifications ... that bring her to us today. After all - she's a blazing hottie!

Go ahead and click on her ... you know you want to, and you won't make it through the weekend if you don't ...

Enjoy ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:23 PM PST [link]

Man Bites Dog - Aquatic Edition

Note: This recovered entry was originally posted on August 9th.

-----

You know the old saying - a dog biting a man isn't news, but a man biting a dog certainly is. Well, here's the maritime version - fish catches man ...

A Florida man was hospitalized after a 4-ft sturgeon jumped out of the water and struck him, knocking him off his speeding personal watercraft and rendering him unconscious. Fortunately, his girlfriend was nearby on a second PWC and was able to ferry him to rescue personnel on the shore. His injuries are said to be non-life threatening.

The amazing thing is that this isn't the first such occurance.

A 31-year-old woman was hospitalized in April after a 3-foot-long sturgeon jumped into a boat being driven by the woman's fiance. The pair was also on the Suwannee River.

Officials at the time said similar accidents occur once or twice a year on the river and that the fish can jump as high as 8 feet in the air and can weigh up to 200 pounds.

I smell a Fox News Special Report coming ... "When Good Fish Go Bad" ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 11:40 AM PST [link]

Calm Before the Storm ...

This being a fishing site and all, I should probably talk about fishing once in a while ...

As someone who's spent close to thirty years chasing marlin off Southern California, one of the hardest things for me to do is help someone understand why I keep doing it. After all, to an outsider, marlin fishing must seem to be like watching paint dry. Lots of time spent driving around, squinting through binoculars and listening to chatter on a radio. For many people, it seems like a form of slow torture.

I certainly understand that feeling. There are days I feel like that way myself.

To explain why it is a special experience, I could take the easy way out, and talk about the spectacular feeling of fighting a marlin. To see that power, that beauty, that grace - all on the end of your line - is simply amazing. In the heat of the moment, it's easy to miss as you bear down on the task at hand. I often find myself taking a moment somewhere mid-battle to stop, look around, and remind myself that this is the exact experience I worked so hard to achieve.

To me, though, there is a moment that is even more memorable. There is a point, before you hook the fish, where you realize that it is all coming together. You are in the right place ... the signs are right ... you have the right lures in the pattern ... fish are being seen ... fish are being caught. You know - you just know - that at any moment, it will be your turn. You'd think this would be a very tense moment, but I find it incredibly peaceful. I've done all I can do ... I'm fully prepared ... now it's in the hands of the fish gods. You scan the horizon, looking for fish, awaiting the (hopefully) inevitable ...

If you feel the joy I feel right now just by reading that last paragraph, then you have what it takes to separate a marlin fisherman from someone who is simply trying to catch a fish.

Of course, even when it all looks right, there's no guarantee it will actually come together. I spent last weekend (Saturday through Tuesday) on the marlin grounds, convinced I was seconds away from glory. Didn't catch a damn thing.

Then the boat went back out yesterday afternoon and caught two marlin before dinner.

And that's what keeps us all coming back ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:01 AM PST [link]

Pluto Gets the Boot

As a young student, I hated homework. To me, there was just too much memorization of meaningless facts. The only thing that kept it interesting were some of the interesting mnemonics creative folks put together to help the memory-challenged. To this day, I can remember the color code for electronic components thanks to a politically incorrect phrase learned in the 10th grade - "Bad Boys Rape Our Young Girls, But Violet Gives Willingly."

My point? Another favorite was the one used to remember the 9 planets in our solar system - "My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets." Unfortunately, as of yesterday, that's no longer true.

Ever since Pluto was discovered in 1930, the debate has raged over whether it was truly a planet. As more was learned about it, the battle has edged for and against Pluto. When a moon was discovered orbiting the planet in 1978, some thought the argument would end. But when an icy body larger than Pluto was discovered a few years back - an object no one felt was a true planet - the battle was engaged anew.

This week, the International Astronomical Union met in Prague to resolve the planetary issue. For a while, it looked as if a new definition of planethood would be adopted that would raise the total from nine to twelve - including Pluto's moon, Charon. But yesterday, the word came down - the new total is eight, and Pluto is reduced to just another astronomical body.

I guess from now on, schoolchildren will have to learn to recite "My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nothing." No word yet on whether Disney plans to remove their "Pluto" from the universe - no doubt in favor of Goofy. Actually, that's a pretty good description of this whole issue ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:52 AM PST [link]

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Note: This recovered entry was originally posted on August 9th.

-----

In a comment (yes, we get comments ...) on our earlier post about a likeness of Jenna Jameson being displayed in the Las Vegas Madame Tussaud's museum, RandyRavelling asked:

Can't see any tattoos in the picture - are they round the back

Well, Randy, our crack research staff got right on this one, and I'm told that Ms. Jameson actually has several tattoos on neck, ankles, and elsewhere. But there's only one tattoo that could be in question here - possibly the most famous ink in all of adult entertainment. It's the "Heart Breaker" image she's worn on her right butt cheek since she was sixteen (click the pic to see more).

As an aside, you have no idea how hard it was to find a picture of the tattoo in context without showing too much context, as it were. But our aforementioned crack staff got the job done. Now if I could only figure out how to get them to stop their research ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:08 AM PST [link]

Show Some Pride!

I was fortunate enough to have been born between wars - too young for Viet Nam, too old for Iraq - so I never had to face the prospect of military service. I've always had a great respect for anyone who serves the flag, particularly those who voluntarily choose to serve. As someone who has spent a lot of years on the water, and have seen a lot of naval vessels up close and personal, I have a particular fondness for our Navy.

Recently, I saw a picture of the carrier Kitty Hawk posted in a military newsgroup and was amazed to see the poor condition of the ship. I understand that 63 is an aging ship, and that we're at war, but it was disappointing to see this much rust (click on the pic to see what I mean). Hell, they're not even in a war zone ...

The Navy has always depended on discipline for its success. Many times, technology has been declined in favor of a well-disciplined crew, since that's something you can count on in a fight. Now I realize we're only talking about ship maintenance here, but discipline is discipline. Many generations of naval personnel learned the concept of discipline at the business end of a mop (hence the nickname "swabbie") or a paint brush. If this most basic of tasks is allowed to slip by the officer corps, what else is slipping? If nothing else, the crew should have a little more basic respect for the tools upon which they depend for their safe return home.

C'mon fellas - break out the scrapers and brushes and make the old girl proud!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:16 PM PST [link]

Still Going ...

Well, I managed to go fishing this weekend and the server didn't crash - whoopee!

The dust has settled and we finally understand just what was lost from the server dump on the 12th. I was able to recover all but one day's worth of blog entries, although I'm having to hand-repost each one. Unfortunately, all of our other interactive features - the Offshore Fishing Forum, the Release Reports, and the Guest Log - all lost any data recorded between August 4th and August 12th. All in all, it's not as bad as it could have been.

That said, I'm still pissed. A decent hosting company shouldn't allow this to happen, and when it does, they should be a hell of a lot better prepared and responsive to the user's needs.

I guess this is what you get when you get passed from company to company when buyouts occur. When I first moved the site from AOL in 1996, I went with Advanced Web Creations. They were bought out by Interliant, who was bought out by Interland, who is now Web.com. With each change, the service got worse, the support less personal, and the experience more unsatisfying. I hate the thought of having to rebuild the damn site on a new server, but I just can't imagine staying where I am now.

So, if you have a really good shared web host, feel free to pass it along. This winter, once the local marlin season winds down, I'll be looking at my options and no doubt moving somewhere where the experience is better. And if the support center is located somewhere in the contiguous 48 states, well all the better ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:45 AM PST [link]

File Under "D" for "Duh"

Back from fishing, so I thought I'd pass along this recovered entry originally posted on August 8th ...

-----

In a recently released study whose finding can only be described as shocking, the Rand Corporation has found that there is a link between teens who listen to music with sexually degrading lyrics and the age at which they begin having sex. Study participants, whose ages ranged from 12 to 17 years old, were split into two groups - those described as "heavy listeners", and those who listened to little or no music with degrading lyrics.

Among heavy listeners, 51% started having sex within two years, versus 29% of those who said they listened to little or no sexually degrading music.

Exposure to lots of obscene music "gives them a specific message about sex," said lead author Steven Martino, a researcher at Rand Corp. in Pittsburgh. Boys learn they should be relentless in pursuit of women, and girls learn to view themselves as sex objects, he said.

Benjamin Chavis, chief executive officer of the Hip-Hip Summit Action Network, a coalition of hip-hop musicians and recording industry executives, said explicit music lyrics are a cultural expression that reflect "social and economic realities."

"We caution rushing to judgment that music more than any other factor is a causative factor" for teens initiating sex, Chavis said.

While there is some truth in Chavis' last statement, his first is asinine. He's trying to turn it into the chicken or the egg - did underage sex drive suggestive hip-hop lyrics, or did the lyrics drive the sex. I don't think we needed to spend taxpayer dollars to figure this one out.

Next time, they'll announce that there just may be a connection between having sex and getting pregnant ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:54 PM PST [link]

Too Much of a Good Thing

Just couldn't let the weekend pass by without sharing this with you. It's two of the MB favorites - Jenna "I Wish I Wasn't A Porn Star" Jameson and Kendra "I Wish I Was" Wilkinson hanging out at the Mansion. Remember, click to enjoy the silicone goodness in all its glory!

Everyone have a great weekend, and say a prayer for the server ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:49 PM PST [link]

Country Music, Meet Reality

I was never one of those kids who dreamed from an early age of doing some particular career as an adult. I figured eventually something would grab me someday. In college, I found something I really loved - radio. The freedom, the creativity ... the chicks! I spent two years on the college station at UCR and absolutely loved it. But I also watched "WKRP in Cinncinnatti", and realized that the gypsy lifestyle was not for me.

I'm still a big fan of radio, though, and I've followed the mostly negative trends we've seen in radio in the last 30 years. No longer the home of the witty DJ spinning his favorite records, most stations today are part of a larger media group that play pre-programmed formats licensed from consultants who might be programming dozens of stations nationwide. The classic example of that is the Jack-FM format, often referred to as the radio equivalent of an iPod on shuffle, that is currently sweeping the nation and knocking dozens of established stations off the air.

It's amazing just how established some of the stations that get replaced by formatted music streams really are. We got another example yesterday, when 93.9 KZLA, LA's only real country music outlet, was replaced in favor of a new dance format called "Movin' 93.9".

KZLA, which billed itself as "America's Most Listened To Country Station" had been country format since 1980 - long before the Garth Brooks-fueled country surge of the early '90s. It's the station where I learned that there was more to life than rock and roll and came to appreciate the beauty of a steel guitar. But in the new reality of commercial radio, having listeners isn't enough, and pleasing listeners isn't even a priority.

An interview with Val Maki, GM of KZLA and sister station KPWR, done by Don Barrett of LARadio.com pretty much sums it up ...

“As tough as it is to give up what is really a good radio station, KZLA has had a lot of success. KZLA was almost always the most listened to Country radio station in America, from a Cume standpoint.” Val said that KZLA was responsible for the most Country music sales, according to SoundScan. “But we work for our advertisers. Through our research and other research we know there was a large phantom cume that never got measured in Arbitron, as good as Arbitron is.”

Val continued: “When you see an opportunity that looks to be appreciably better, there’s no option. You have an obligation as a business."

The changeover was so quick and so secretive that even the KZLA program director was only told 1 hour before the 10AM switch. That's cold, but it's the new reality in radio. As the dollar became increasingly important to the business, consultants locked down formats and eliminated personality. People can sense this - and that's why they own iPods. Rather than respond to the challenge, radio execs continue to kiss the ass of their advertisers, more concerned with keeping them happy than pleasing their listeners.

Eventually, though, they'll figure it out. Those rating points they're so desperate for represent people - people with opinions, and with fingers that can change the channel.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 04:31 PM PST [link]

Pa-piss-razzi?

Note: This recovered entry was originally posted on August 8th.

-----

Unlike most people my age, I have no problem admiring the talents of someone who is younger than I am. No generational angst here - if you have the skills, you have my respect.

One of those who I've declared my respect for - and taken grief about - is Pink. Unlike the other vapid bimbos dominating the pop music world these days, she has an edge about her. She's a creative songwriter and a dynamic performer. More than that, she'll tell you what she's thinking about anything, and doesn't give a damn if you agree. I respect that.

Like most famous folks, Pink gets followed around by gossip photographers - the dreaded paparazzi - who are dying to catch her doing something, well, Pink-like. This weekend, she was in town to watch her husband, motorcyclist Carey Hart, perform at the X-Games. When she visited the beach, the photogs got their wish. How can I put this ...

What's the world coming to when a girl can't take a piss next to her truck without a photographer capturing the moment??? I mean, really.

I certainly don't approve of such behavior (the pic, not the pee), but that shouldn't stop me from sharing. Decorum prevents me from displaying the image, so you'll just have to follow the link.

And before any of you start to complain, I'd like everyone who hasn't peed next to their truck to take a step forward. Yeah - that's what I thought ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 02:47 PM PST [link]

I'm Not Buyin' It ...

So, after nearly 10 years and God knows how much money, a suspect has been arrested in the murder case of JonBenet Ramsey. The media, naturally, is ejaculating all over themselves as they race to put the details - any details - on the air. If they happen to be correct, well, that's just a bonus. In the mean time, those whose morals force them to practice some kind of responsible journalism are already pointing out that this guy's story has more holes than Swiss cheese.

My take: This guy's a serious nutjob who gets off on the attention. He's a borderline pedophile who was clearly attracted to the child, but only after her death. I'm betting he never saw her alive. He may have seen the coverage of the case, or the pictures of JonBenet dressed like a 6-yr-old version of a blow up doll. Whatever the source, he developed an obsession and now that same perverse logic drives him to seek out the media and tell his made-up tale.

All the while, John Ramsey lays low, thrilled - and no doubt amazed - that the spotlight is turned somewhere other than on himself and his late wife, Patsy. JonBenet's parents were the number one suspects from the moment they decided to not cooperate with law enforcement, and they remain at the top of the list in my mind. Ramsey'd better be careful, though, because once this freak in Thailand is shown as the whackjob he is, there will be renewed attention paid to the other suspects ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:01 PM PST [link]

Yes, But Does It Melt in Your Mouth ...

Note: This recovered entry was originally posted on August 7th.

-----

Jenna Jameson has never been your typical porn star. Smart and ambitious, she has always sought to establish herself as more of a brand name. Looks like she's found one more way to stand out from the crowd - she's become the first adult film star to be immortalized in the famous Tussaud Wax Museum.

You can find her in the Las Vegas version, where her likeness is a little more ... interactive ... than your average Crayon, according to the NY Post Gossip page - and they wouldn't lie, would they ...

The partially nude interactive figure shows the blond sex bomb kneeling on a bearskin rug and displaying her tattoos. "It looks so real," Jameson squealed as she posed with her luscious double. Jenna the dummy, if you'd call it that, whispers patrons a sexy message when they tickle her tattoos."

So it begs the question ... Tussaud's artisans are famous for the life-like nature of their product. How do you tell the difference between the likeness and the real thing?

Easy. One's made of wax - the other of silicone ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 04:42 PM PST [link]

Of Course I Believe Him ... :-)

David Copperfield - the illusionist, not the fictional character - has made a lot of claims in his career. He claimed to make the Statue of Liberty disappear, he claimed to make himself float in mid-air and - his most outlandish claim - he claimed that Claudia Schiffer was in love with him.

He may have just topped himself, though. Dave is now saying he's discovered the Fountain of Youth - conveniently located on an island he just bought in the Bahamas ...

"I've discovered a true phenomenon," he told Reuters in a telephone interview. "You can take dead leaves, they come in contact with the water, they become full of life again. ... Bugs or insects that are near death, come in contact with the water, they'll fly away. It's an amazing thing, very, very exciting."

Of course, I'm sure this announcement has nothing to do with the fact that his career is flagging, or that you can rent the island from him for $300,000 a week.

Come to think of it, his biggest stunt yet may have been making the $50 million he paid for the island appear ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 11:04 AM PST [link]

Back With a Vengence ...

As you probably noticed, this is my first posting of the week. Look closely, and you'll also see there's a gap in the sequence, with all postings after August 4 having disappeared into the ether. That's what happens when your web server 1) has the machine hosting your site take a dump, 2) has a piss-poor backup policy and 3) has an even worse training policy for their customer support folks.

Before I go any further, let me give credit where credit is due: this rant is brought to you courtesy of the incompetant folks at Web.com ...

... be sure to see them for all your web hosting needs.

This is a fishing site and to maintain a certain level of street cred, it's important that I actually get out on the water once in a while. My chance finally came last week, and I spent Friday and Saturday whacking dorado. When I got home late Saturday, I did my civic duty and posted a Trip Report and passed out.

Come Sunday, I make my usual first-thing-in-the-morning visit to the site. Crap - it's down. Now, this isn't a huge thing, as there are lots of reasons why it could happen, and it's usually back up pretty quickly. Not this time. After a couple of hours, I check the Web.com support site, where I'm informed that a "hardware anomaly" has impacted a number of sites - marlinnut.com amongst them. OK, nothing I can do but wait it out. Eventually, around 9PM, the site is back up. Again, I make a visit ... hey, where's that trip report I filed last night? At first, I thought it might have been lost during the crash but quickly I realized that everything on the site was stale - the last entry for any interactive part of the site was a week old!

Apparently, when they restored the site, they used a week-old backup. Now that might be acceptable for some hack with their home page, but that is totally unacceptable for a professional webhost. So I call the help desk.

Big mistake.

Now, I'm OK with the fact that the help desk is located somewhere in the third world, and I'm OK with the fact that the person who answered the phone clearly learned English as a second - or third - language. These are just the facts of doing business in the downward spiral that is free enterprise today. What I'm not OK with is that the training this person received was so poor that they were basically nothing more than a note taker, someone who would have to pass the message along to someone else who did have the knowledge required to try and solve the problem.

I explained that the site was stale, and that I was sure that they must have a newer backup copy, and could they please upload that copy ASAP? Naturally, she couldn't answer, but a few hours later I got an email saying that they were busy restoring sites and that it could be as long as 48 hours until they got to mine. Again, this sucks, but I understand that they could have had thousands of sites on the broken server. So I shut down the forums and stop making blog posts, confident that there will be a refresh soon.

And I wait.

After two days and a shitload of emails back and forth, the truth finally comes out: the latest copy of the site that they have - and the one they uploaded - is actually post-meltdown. So they first posted the week-old version, diligently made a backup of it, and reposted it. Any data from the week in between is lost forever.

Needless to say, I'm irritated. In a way, it's a lot like those assholes who keep screwing with our airlines. The real damage isn't the potential terrorist attack - it's the impact of the new rules and regulations and the interruption to lives and business. In my case, now that I have no faith in Web.com to manage my site, I have to perform a manual server backup myself, wasting time and effort that could be spent elsewhere.

At least until I find a new host ...

UPDATE: The cached copy of the MB at Google had the missing entries from Monday through Thursday ... I'm not quite sure how to reintegrate them, but at least I have the text ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:58 AM PST [link]

Server Woes

The SCMO server took a dump over the weekend, and we lost a week's worth of data in the restoration process. Our web host is trying to retrieve it, so I won't be making any new posts until they give me the green light (since they, along with this post, will be written over during restoration.

Your patience is appreciated.

Damn ... those were some mighty witty posts, too ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:45 PM PST [link]

Doing My Part, Pt. 2

All of us here in LaLa Land like to wax poetic about how we once had two football teams and now have none. It is inevitable that we'll get another, and I'm doing my part to "advance scout" some potential starters for the squad.

I thought I'd found us a pretty good quarterback a few weeks back, but a dark horse has arisen in the form of Kendra Wilkinson, famous as one of the Girls Next Door. She looks to have the talent and she definitely has the form.

Unfortunately, she's still under contract to the Playboy team. I'll have to see what we can dangle as trade bait, but what can you offer an 80-yr old man with three blonde twenty-something girlfriends? You can't even try more blondes, 'cause he used to have seven!.

I'll see what I can do to try and bring KW into the fold. In the meantime, I thought you all could use the weekend to check out her form ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:36 PM PST [link]

The Legend of Sluggo

This is a non-specific blog. I don't write about one particular topic as do many - I just say whatever I'm thinking. Sometimes it's benign, sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's controversial - whatever.

While I don't get as many comments posted as I'd like, I get a surprisingly large number of emails in response to the postings. And what posting topic has generated the most interest? Sports? Hotties?

Nope. It's Sluggo the Tortoise.

You may recall that we had several postings about Sluggo's presumed demise at the ... paws ... of a racoon, and his amazing reappearance several days later. I got a lot of emails with suggestions for security changes (not to mention a couple with a decidedly PETA spin). So, here's a Sluggo update ...

Because it was my own stupidity that let the raccoons get a shot at the Slugmeister in the first place, a strong sense of guilt led me to replace the pen. Gone are the sticks and chicken wire, replaced by the decidedly more stout concrete blocks. A new 2x2 and wire mesh frame tops the enclosure, and there's even a Sluggo-sized entrance made by the convenient size of a block on its size. Nothing larger than Sluggo can get in and, considering the growth rate of a desert tortoise, it'll be a while before I have to worry about making a larger opening. I was even able to have my nephew Thomas - who technically owns the creature - help dig the trenches for the block. It was a true bonding experience.

So far, Sluggo seems to be pretty happy with the new digs, although getting a reading on the feelings of a tortoise is pretty tough. If nothing else, I know the tortoise is going to be safe. The Big Bad Wolf - or his raccoon friends - will need a posse and a crowbar if they want to get in here. If you look closely at the top, you'll see the paw prints where they tried.

I'm sure we'll have more updates as time goes on. Hopefully, I've done enough to keep our PETA friends at bay ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:29 AM PST [link]

What, Me Worry?

The loaning of artwork from one museum to another for display is a common process. So when the Pompidou Center of Paris decided to present a display of artwork by Los Angeles artists earlier this year, several local museums loaned pieces to the Center. After all, the Pompidou is a world-class museum, with appropriate processes in place to insure the safety of the loaned pieces, right?

Wrong.

During the 5-month run of the display, two pieces were destroyed, and a third damaged. That by itself would be shocking enough, but what's really amazing is the reaction of the show's curator.

"It's not our guilt," Catherine Grenier, who curated the show for the Pompidou, said from her Paris home. "For me, it's not a coincidence. These two works were made of the same materials, and made in the same period. And both were incredibly fragile."

But LACMA curator Lynn Zelevansky, who heads the contemporary art department, noted that the piece the museum lent had gone on and off display often — and survived several earthquakes — during its three decades in LACMA's care.

"Maybe I should have looked more closely," said artist Craig Kauffman, who journeyed to Paris to see the show. "I just assume everybody knows what they're doing. And I guess they don't."

WTF? Way to step up and take responsibility! Sorry you sent us your fragile pieces, but it's your own fault - you trusted us!

We can have the discussion about what is art, and if this even qualified. But the bottom line is that you don't borrow someone's belongings, break them, then blame them! Imagine if I borrowed your EAL for this week's fishing, dropped it on the deck, then blamed you when it wouldn't beep any more. After all, you never should have spent $200 on a lure anyway ...

Reminds me of the old joke about how there's no translation in the French language for the word "victory" ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:38 AM PST [link]

Too Safe For Our Own Good

For the last fifty years, there's been a big push in American society to make things as safe as possible. Safe cars ... safe houses ... safe lives. Many things that were commonplace when I was growing up would be considered criminally dangerous today. Remember sitting on your Dad's lap and driving the family car? Today, if a kid under 10 isn't in a 5-point harness, you're some kind of failed parent.

It might not seem like it, but there's a price to be paid for this safety. Back in the day, by facing those "unsafe" challenges, we got smarter and stronger. It's called survival of the fittest. But today, shielded from the slightest hazard, are we in fact doing our children a disservice? Perhaps ...

In a recent experiment performed at USC, one in four children with nut allergies were unable to identify the nut they were allergic to when shown a variety of different nuts. The reason? Well-meaning parents that had banned all nuts from the house.

"It is possible that the parents of peanut-allergic children did not allow peanuts in their homes and that their children, therefore, never had the opportunity to learn to recognize them," the researchers note.

The most appropriate approach for the youngest children with nut allergies may be to tell them to avoid nuts completely, Ferdman noted in an interview. However, parents can also teach children how to identify nuts by showing them pictures of the nuts or pointing out different types of nuts in the grocery store.

The findings, he added, "point out that parents really need to teach their child specifically what to avoid."

The irony is that in the attempt to shield their children from risk, the parents inadvertantly exposed them.

It's a lesson we see over and over again. At some point, in order to develop properly, individuals must face the challenges that life throws in their path. Parents and others can try and shield them from those challenges, but in the end, they cost the individual in terms of growth. You can lecture all you want, but sometimes, you just have to let people make their own mistakes in order to learn from them.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:23 AM PST [link]

Turns Out Plasma is a Girl's Best Friend ...

Who knew? For years, men have suffered under the weight of advertising-driven expectation and shelled out obscene amounts of cash - and credit - to shower their love with diamonds. After all, that's what she wants, right? Well, maybe not.

A recent survey (with the telling name "Girls Gone Wired") indicates that she wants what you want - tech toys.

The study found 77 percent of women surveyed would prefer a new plasma television to a diamond solitaire necklace and 56 percent would opt for a new plasma TV over a weekend vacation in Florida.

Even shoes lost out. The study found 86 percent would prefer a new digital video camera to a pair of designer shoes.

The study found over the next five years women see themselves increasing their activities in six tech areas: digital cameras, cell phones, e-mail, camera phones, text messaging and instant messaging.

Just think of all those commercials you've seen over the years where the man is out to be an insensitive boob for even considering buying the wife a big screen. Who's sorry now?

I'm reminded of the Ron White comedy bit where he talks about the DeBeers Group changing their advertising campaign. They started with "Diamonds are Forever" then changed to "Diamonds - Take Her Breath Away" but feel the need to change once again. The new slogan? "Diamonds - That'll Shut Her Up" ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:40 AM PST [link]

A Common Thread

Mel Gibson sits in his room in rehab, facing an embarrasing charge of DUI - and that's just the least of his worries. Lindsay Lohan strips damn near naked at the birthday party for a 40-yr old actor, and receives a letter from her producer threatening legal action because her incessant partying makes it a challenge for her to show up on set.

It would be easy to pile on these two - and Lord knows enough others are. But I think these two events are signs of a deeper problem. If I party too hearty and miss a day of work - or get tossed in the slammer - few outside my immediate family will care. I'll miss a day of work, of course, but Boeing will survive. But when stars of this magnitude act with such irresponsible disregard, the price can be high - to them personally, but also to those with whom they work.

The 20-yr old Lohan - alternatively referred to as "Hohan" or "Blohan" by tabloid blogs, giving you some insight into her lifestyle choices - was taken to task by the producers of the movie she is currently filming after a series of late and missed set calls.

"You and your representatives have told us that your various late arrivals and absences from the set have been the result of illness; today we were told it was 'heat exhaustion,' " Robinson wrote. "We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so-called 'exhaustion."

The letter goes on to indicate that Lohan could be held responsible for financial losses accrued by the production company as a result of her "immature behavior".

Gibson, who became a major power in Hollywood after the success of his film "The Passion of the Christ", is clearly not a teenaged party girl. But he was definitely drunk and disorderly when pulled over last weekend. Some of the statements he made belied certain feelings he had previously kept hidden, and there will be financial repercussions.

In each case, the celebrity fails to accept blame for their actions. Rather than own up to the responsibility they assumed when they accepted the boatloads of cash, they choose to hide behind canned statements by their handlers. Rather than act in a way that might let them serve as an example - albeit a tainted one - they choose damage control.

There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark," Gibson said in a statement issued by his publicist. "I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI charge."

No shit. But as one pundit put it earlier, the first words out of the mouth of a drunk tend to be those on the tip of their tongue.

Lohan had to resort to having her mother try and defend her actions.

"I feel when you are 19 (years old) it is way out of line. ... Maybe he has personal issues with whomever and it came out with my child," Dina Lohan said in an interview with Billy Bush. "I don't know him. I can't judge him. I don't think it was a smart thing to do to a young girl."

No attempt to take responsibility for the actions - just to discredit the source. Obviously she hasn't seen the party pictures yet - or just doesn't care.

Look, I understand it must suck to be invited to more parties than you can possibly attend, and to have paparrazzis and other hangers on kissing your ass constantly, but hey - that's the life you chose. You get paid obscene amounts of money for what you do - all you have to do is show up for work and not fuck up the rest of the time. These two clearly haven't figured it out yet.

And as for Dina Lohan, the stage-mother-from-hell who's been riding her daughter's gravy train since she was 10, trying to defend her daughter's behavior - shut up ... just shut the hell up.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:47 PM PST [link]