Advertise Your Product at SCMO
The Offshore Angler's Online Home ©



Friday, September 29th

Not Your Father's Eye Candy

You remember music in the early Nineties, right? Big hair, loud guitar, crappy fashion? Everyone wanted the next big concept video, thinking it would make up for the music ... not! The common thread was that the plot made no sense, and every video had to have a babe - or school of babes - in some measure of undress. There was even a group of women who did nothing but make videos (think Tawny Kitaen and Bobbie Brown ...)

Of course, some bands got it right - good music, classic babe. At the head of the list? Guns and Roses, and the video for "November Rain". High concept video, awesome song, and Sports Illustrated uber-babe Stephanie Seymour. Never could figure out just why she had to die in the end, but hey - it's art, right? Making even less sense was her dating singer Axl Rose for a while after that - or him breaking up with her!

If you've seen Axl lately, you already know that time hasn't treated him well. He's fifteen years older, thirty pounds heavier, and a cartoonish reminder of who he once was. But what about Stephanie? I'm happy to report that having children and doing the whole soccer mom thing has left her, well ... fine! Here's the proof. She's gonna be 40 next July - I guess it's all in the genes ... or jeans. Whatever it is, she's your Weekend Eye Candy. Remember, just click on the photo for extra milfy goodness!


Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:36 PM PDT [link]

Fire The Right Guy

All season long, the overachieving Florida Marlins have been setting records. If the reports are to be believed, it appears they may well be about to set another record - first ballclub to fire the Manager of the Year.

Jeffrey Loria, owner of the Marlins, has been a thorn in the side of baseball for years. As owner of the Expos, he was the guy who successfully swapped his interest in the club for the Marlins, leaving the Expos as baseball gypsies who ultimately left Canada for DC. In South Florida, he inherited a club that went on to win the '03 World Series, and promptly dismantled it. During the past offseason, after a renewed Marlins squad nearly qualified for the playoffs, he dismantled it again. Each time he blamed the fans and lawmakers of the region as the source of his problems. On Opening Day, he openly hosted a delegation from San Antonio in the hopes they'd make him an offer to move there. A friend to baseball he's not.

After dumping Jack McKeon last winter and assembling the lowest paid squad in baseball, he turned to managerial reins over to Joe Girardi. Joe was highly regarded, but that's not what appealed to Loria - Joe was cheap. Just one year removed from his playing days, Girardi was selected over better qualified candidates. To Marlins fans, this was just one more Loria cheap-ass manuever.

Imagine our surprise when the $15 million Marlins - paid as a team less than three different members of the Yankees - performed as they did, all the while led by Joe Girardi. The team was in the playoff hunt with less than a week to go, set numerous records and will doubtless have the Rookie of the Year on their squad.

Apparently, though, that's not enough for Loria. While he may value money, he apparently values something even more - his ego. Girardi has been at odds with Loria and his GM, Larry Beinfest, most of the year, and his style as a hard-headed introvert has done him no favors. Loria was talked out of firing him earlier in the year after a confrontation, and everyone who is in a position to know says there is a "zero percent" chance he will not be fired shortly after the end of Sunday's final game. Somehow, Loria has convinced himself he won't look like the biggest jackass on the block for firing a finalist for Manager of the Year who did more with $15 million than many others have done with ten times as much.

What a pathetic joke. The guy comes in and does everything he could possibly be expected to do and more - except kiss the ass of the owner. And for that, he'll be fired. The cost to the Marlins to separate themselves from Girardi will be high. They have to pay him $1.5 to get out of the contract, and will likely lose pitching coach Rick Kranitz - a friend of Girardi who coaxed 10-win seasons out of three different rookie pitchers for the first time in MLB history. Joe will no doubt show up next season as the manager of the Cubs, and we'll get some tired retred.

Here's a thought ... baseball was willing to own the Expos/Nationals until a proper owner was found. They still have the cash from that sale hanging around - use it to cash Loria out of the Marlins. Kick his sorry ass to the curb, and start a search for local ownership who will respect the team and respect the fans ... and keep Joe Girardi right where he belongs.


Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:47 PM PDT [link]

Thursday, September 28th

No Class Whatsoever

We've all enjoyed the series of stupid human tricks that is the life of Anna Nicole Smith ever since she and her bolt-ons "graced" the pages of Playboy back in the early 90s. From her marriage to a man three times her age to the lawsuits to the diet pills, it's been a wacky ride.

Recently, that ride turned sour. Smith was in the Bahamas for the birth of her second child - coming out of wedlock and with several men potentially the father - when her son Daniel died suddenly while visiting her in the hospital. The investigation is still underway, and the funeral for Daniel has yet to occur.

But none of that will deter our Miss Smith! Two days ago, Smith's attorney Howard K. Stern (the "K" no doubt to differentiate between him and the other asshole named Howard Stern) came forward to announce he was the child's father, and that he wanted to marry Smith "at some point".

Apparently, "at some point" is lawyer-speak for "tomorrow", as that's just what Stern and Smith did yesterday.

"There was heavy security around the yacht, plus extra speedboats to deliver more supplies as needed (including unlimited Dom Perignon champagne) from the mainland to the catamaran," says the eyewitness, who adds that the wedding party celebrated the union afterwards by having a swim party around the yacht — "and Anna was wearing a pink bikini! Later on, she changed into a colorful, one-piece suit with a wrap around her waist."

While I don't begrudge their effort to give the child something that resembles parents, the manner in which they did it - coming barely two weeks after the death of Daniel Smith - is disgusting. I don't know why I'm surprised - we live in a society that celebrates this kind of trash, and ANS is a product of that celebration. I guess I'd have hoped she could have kept it together long enough to bury her son, but apparently that was too much to ask.


Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:05 PM PDT [link]

AVP Wrap

It sort of got lost with the run-up to the Pesky and all, but the AVP wrapped up the 2006 beach volleyball season two weekends ago in Lake Tahoe. It ended the same way it started, with Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh standing on top of the podium. But what a wild ride it was in between!

The season was a dream for May/Walsh. 13 titles, each over the million dollar mark in career earnings, a 35-game win streak to end the season. Misty won the Queen of the Beach tourney, and will no doubt repeat as the tour's MVP. But as easy as it was for the defending Olympic champions, it was hard for their competition.

This was the year that M/W was finally going to be dethroned, and the team to do it was going to be Elaine Youngs and my girl Rachel Wacholder. They got off to a good start, beating May/Walsh twice early in the season. But the popularity of beach volleyball and the need to start prepping for the 2008 Bejing Games means that the top teams must play both the domestic AVP schedule as well as the international FIVB series, and that can make for a very hectic summer. At one point, the girls spent 25 consecutive weekends playing volleyball somewhere in the world, and it took a toll. While M/W performed well in the FIVB, holding their own against the best of the Brazilians, the grind was too much for Rachel and EY. At the Paris FIVB event in August, EY - never one to hold in her feelings - was sniping at Rachel openly on the court. By the time they had returned from a German event the next weekend and started to prepare for the Manhattan Open - the AVP's crown event - the team shocked the VB community with the announcement that they were splitting up. This caused a ripple effect among the other teams as everyone scrambled for new partners - and guaranteed that Misty and Kerri wouldn't be challenged again. While Rachel and her new partner Jen Boss did reach several finals, EY and Nicole Branaugh were relegated to also-ran status.

Success is a dual-edged sword, and the AVP's success in recent years will see it adding more events to the 2007 calendar. Add to that the fact that the 2007 FIVB events will be used to determine who goes to Bejing, and I can see a real pressure cooker coming up. It remains to be seen what additional shuffling of teams will occur over the winter, but you can bet they're going to happen. Come summer, though, the names on the bikini-clad bottoms will change, but the game will go on - and it'll all be good!


Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:32 AM PDT [link]

Wednesday, September 27th

RIP Ralph Story

Unlike a lot of people, I don't have a ton of memories from my first decade of life. I don't remember every little aspect of what it was like to be 5 years old, or my first day of school or most of that stuff. But I have a few very strong - and unrelated - memories that stick with me 40 years later.

One of those is of a TV show called "Ralph Story's Los Angeles" - a series of small stories about the history and heritage of Los Angeles done in what today is called the "magazine-style" of television. I remember the intro - an animated rendering of driving through the pass from San Fernando into LA and seeing the lights. It helped fuel a love of the lore of Los Angeles that remains today. He was folksy without dipping down the the "aw shucks" level of his logical successor, Huell Howser, and did stories that made you want to see what came next.

I mention this because yesterday, Ralph Story passed away at the age of 86. Ralph had an amazing history in LA media. He was on KNX in the '50s, before quitting in protest over the number of commercials run - clearly he was a man before his time! From there, he went on to host a little show called "$64,000 Question" where he had a front row seat to the game show scandal (he wasn't part of it). He was also part of KNXT's landmark "Big News", the Jerry Dumphy-led broadcast that set a standard for local news coverage that's still in use today - although I'm sure he'd be embarassed by "Eyewitless News" and some of the current iterations.

He'd been in poor health and out of the public eye for many years, but his legacy lives on in the memory of folks like me. It's one of those unfortunate reminders that time marches on, and things will never be like they used to be ... sad


Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:00 AM PDT [link]

Fish Officially Fried

OK, we all knew this day would come - it was inevitable the moment they gutted last year's roster. Last night, the Marlins were officially eliminated from playoff contention. But now let's see a show of hands of anyone who thought it would come with only five games remaining in the season. Anyone? That's what I thought.

In a sense, this is a good thing. Now, everyone can stop talking about the playoffs and spent the next week reflecting on what an amazing run these guys had. The list of records they set this year for rookies is incredible, and they spent the entire second half at or near the .500 line - somewhere they weren't even supposed to come within sight of. The Rookie of the Year will come down to a battle between the Marlins' double play combo of Ramirez and Uggla (my vote goes to Uggs), and Joe Girardi deserves serious contention as Manager of the Year. That should look good on his resume' once Jeffrey Loria fires him next week (we'll talk about that one once it happens).

By all rights, this should have been the worst season in Marlins franchise history. Instead, it was an exciting, enjoyable ride right up to the last - and leaves us hungry for next season!


Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:32 AM PDT [link]

Monday, September 25th

The REAL Pesky Awards ...

I fished this weekend in the 17th Annual Los Pescadores Next To Avalon Invitational Not So Light Tackle Billfish tournament - better known as "the Pesky". Even for the experienced billfisherman, the Pesky is unlike anything else they've fished in. The fishing is great, but it's all the crazy stuff that goes on around it that makes it so special.

I've talked about the Pesky in my on the water reports in the War Room, and there'll be a full report tonight in the Fishing News. Of course, you can also check out the tourney website to get a taste of what it's all about. But like the man said, you really gotta be there.

One of the great things about the Pesky is that they give out more awards than most events. Yes, it's a club event, so the prizes are smaller than say, the Bisbee Black and Blue, but for most anglers they're big enough. There's always room for more, though and after fishing in all seventeen of the tourneys, I think I'm qualified to pick 'em. So here's our first edition of the LPAYWTHGOBDA (Los Pescadores "Awards You Wish They'd Have Given Out But Didn't" Awards:

- Best Looking Crew: It could have gone to the DONNA C ... er, the BLACK PEARL, and their crew of scantily clad pirate wenches, but they have an unfair advantage - more staterooms allows you to increase the number of women you can carry. That'd be an advantage in most cases. Besides, we see these girls all the time anyway, and familiarity breeds malaise - sorry, ladies!. So the Pesky goes to ... the crew of TYEE, who demonstrated they can be hot both on and off the water. Rumor has it Jenny Armstrong was swimming around Avalon Harbor in a little blue bikini on Saturday afternoon, and that's all it took to put them over the top. See you next Pesky, girls!

- Most Entertaining Crew: As usual, this one was a tightly contested race that wasn't decided until the wee hours of Sunday morning when one of the Blower boys decided to take a midnight swim. Best part is that he probably has no recollection whatsoever of the event. So the Pesky goes to ... the crew of PACIFIC PIONEER - thanks again for the Watermelon Bank, Mike!

- Making the Most of the Least: With nearly 50 boats in the field, you get a pretty wide range of sizes, from the mammoth to the miniscule. The big boys may have the cash and the crew, but the little guys have heart, and they demonstrated that this weekend. So the Pesky goes to ... the "crews" of AGITATOR and GERONIMO. Bill MacCorkell and Jerry Austin each caught a singlehanded marlin on their Skipjacks during the event, and the lack of a crew to handle some of the ancillary tourney duties (call-in, costume, etc) cost them in the standings. But this is one award they can proudly display for the world to see ... well, as soon as they figure out who gets what half of the trophy.

- Most Memorable Tourney Moment: It could easily have been the look on Jenny Armstrong's face while receiving a tummy tattoo from Matt Earl (imagine wide eyes and a silent "help me!"). But the Pesky goes to ... Kenny Knight and the BLACK PEARL for the split-S maneuver they made on REELY HOOKED during the water balloon war outside of Avalon at lines out Saturday. Even those of us engaged in our own spirited battles took pause when we saw the engine smoke rise - I had no idea 125-ft boats could jump out of the water like that. The boats were passing port-to-port, and the quick left-right turn by the BP put up a wave that damned near swamped RH. Props to Tim Lovoy and the crew of REELY HOOKED for taking on the BLACK PEARL in such a daring fasion in the first place!

- Least Memorable Moment: In an event that naturally generates a lot of candidates for this particular category, one stands high above the rest. And the Pesky goes to ... Bob Hoose for his attempt to tattoo his date for the hour at the Marlin Club. She was a willing participant, but after Bob's fourth attempt left her with more bad ink than Tommy Lee, the anonymous brunette took a tattoo with her to the Ladies Room and did the deed herself. It's worth noting that her display of a toned, tanned butt cheek with a perfectly placed Pesky Tat a few minutes later was a finalist for Most Memorable Moment ...

- Hard Luck Award: Both Marilyn Stephens of EXTA SEA and Jenny Armstrong of TYEE had shots at a second fish on Day 2, either of which would have won the event. But Marilyn won anyway for her one fish, and Jenny already has a Pesky (see "Best Looking Crew" above). So the Pesky goes to ... Rob Espinosa of PESCAHOLIC! Not only did he catch his tournament winner a day late on the ride home yesterday, he suffered the indignity of being relegated to the pit on his own boat in favor of a certain well known local captain (whose own spin we'll no doubt get in the Western Outdoor News on Thursday). Now to be fair, they did catch two fish and Rob gained a lot of valuable experience, both of which make his decision to let Mark run the boat a wise one. But it's probably a good thing he was in the cockpit where he couldn't hear the abuse we rained down on him ... big grin

As I look back on this entry, I realize I've written the words "Jenny Armstrong" quite a few times. Now it could just be a coincidence that she was near the center of most of the memorable activity this weekend ... or maybe she's a catalyst? Hmmm ... guess we'll find out next year ... arrrr wink


Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:07 AM PDT [link]

Wednesday, September 20th

Eye Candy - Long Weekend Version

I'll be offshore fishing starting tomorrow, so it will be a while before there is another entry. That means whatever I put in this final post will be the one thing you'll be forced to look at for the next few days. Man - that's a lot of pressure to put on a guy.

Fortunately, I think I have the answer. In keeping with the idea of recruiting new players for our future NFL team, I've invited Lisa Dergan to try out. You might remember Lisa from her appearances on Fox Sports Net - particularly "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" - or as Playboy's Miss July in 1998. You might even know her as the wife of Scott Podsednik of the Chicago White Sox - who will hereafter be referred to as "that lucky bastard". But I'm sure after this, you'll remember her every time you shower.

Now I should admit that this photo is a couple of years old, and I can't guarantee she still looks quite so hot. However, I've volunteered my shower should she wish to update the portfolio. I'll let you know if she takes me up on it ... just in case Hell does freeze over.

Anyway, this should get you through the weekend. Try to stay out of trouble, OK?


Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:50 PM PDT [link]

Godspeed Anousheh Ansari

I've been a fan of the space program for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are of getting up early to watch the first launches on a black and white TV. I guess this long fascination makes me something of a traditionalist when it comes to space flight.

When the Russian space program started flying paying passengers to the International Space Station as a way of raising much-needed cash, I was against it. To me, space was still this sacred place where only those with the right stuff ventured - a place where a visit was earned, not bought. The idea of some dot com millionaire - or, God forbid, a boy band soprano - bouncing off the walls of the ISS went against everything I believed.

Then came the latest in the program - Anousheh Ansari. True, she bought her seat (for a rumored $20 million) and will have no real "duties" on her visit than her three predecessors. But she is different - not only is she blazing trails for people like her, she has a true connection to space. If the name "Ansari" sounds familiar to space buffs, it should - she put up much of the money for the "Ansari X-Prize", the $10 million brass ring that awaited the first commercial space flight. That prize was won a couple of years back by Burt Rutan and the SpaceShipOne team. She has been an active supporter of the commercialization of space, and sees this as simply one more step in the process. And I have to agree with her.

Historically, it was the government who did the exploration, but the entrepreneurs who did the commercialization. When Lewis and Clark were returning from the Oregon Coast after their historic mission of exploration, they ran into entrepreneurs headed west on the same trail to exploit the opportunity. Space is no different. NASA has done its part to open up the frontier, but it will be the Burt Rutans - and the Anousheh Ansaris - of the world who will turn space flight into a practical reality.

Anousheh should arrive at the ISS later today to begin a 10-day stay as part of the normal crew rotation.


Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:39 PM PDT [link]

Tuesday, September 19th

My Blue Heaven

It's well documented that I'm a sports nut, but like most fans, I like some more than others. Baseball is at the top of my list, and my team is clearly the Marlins. I get asked often why I'm a Marlins fan. After all, I've never been to Florida, much less Miami.

Beyond the obvious (hello? Marlins?), you need to remember what LA baseball looked like in the early nineties. I'd been raised a Dodger fan, but after the series in '88 and the Gibson heroics, it'd been all downhill. By '92, the Dodgers sucked. Just about then, MLB announced they'd be adding two new franchises - the Colorado Rockies and the Florida Marlins. I knew I could pull for a team of aging veterans that would lose a lot of games - LA - or a team of newbies who'd lose a lot of games but have fun doing it. I opted for the latter, and the rest is history. We've won the World Series twice, and the Dodgers haven't gotten out of the first round.

Not that I hate the Dodgers, mind you. After the Fish, they're still my faves - hey, they're the only real LA baseball team. So it was with much joy that I watched a little more Dodger history written last night as Kent, Drew, Martin and Anderson went back to back to back to back - the first time a team has hit four consecutive home runs since 1964. Topping that was a Nomar walk-off blast, and it was the best Dodger game I've seen since the Gibson homer. Now if they can just keep the momentum going, it might make me forget the woes of my beloved Marlins ... almost ... sad


Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:47 PM PDT [link]

Monday, September 18th

The Early Bird Gets the Marlin ...

It's no secret that I've gained all the marlin knowledge I have while fishing on one boat - HOOKER. It's also known, albeit not so well, that I want to spend some time fishing on other boats to validate - or modify - my knowledge base, so as to be a better fisherman. Unfortunately, desires don't equate to opportunities, and it's hard to turn down a free weekend on HOOKER to pay to fish elsewhere.

This past weekend was the Balboa Angling Club's Master Angler Billfish Tournament. As it does every weekend during the season, HOOKER was out fishing, but not in the event. As a BAC member, I feel like I should be there, and it's a great challenge fishing against the best in West Coast light tackle anglers. But HOOKER only fishes in two events each year, and the MABT isn't one of them. I was already tripping over my lip about it when I saw the reports from Friday of some of the greatest local marlin fishing in history. After that, I felt even worse.

Now, I'm a tech guy, and I consider myself pretty well connected to the world. I have email, cellphone, a blog, a forum ... you name it, you can probably reach me by it. But the key is that I have to be available to be reached.

Why the detour in the entry? Simple. Friday night I'm home working on one of my customer's sites. I finish around 9, take a quick check at SCMO and a few other spots, and shut it down for the night. What I did not do was take the time to check my email. If I had, I'd have found a notice from my forum system letting me know I had a message waiting there for me. But I didn't check ...

... Until the next morning, when I found the message was an invitation from one of the MABT boats to sub that day for an ailing angler. Unfortunately, I didn't get the message until around 9 in the morning, by which time they were no doubt far offshore. If you think I felt bad Friday night, I was positively suicidal on Saturday.

Now, it would be easy to rationalize things by saying that all my equipment was on HOOKER anyway, but the bottom line is that a great opportunity to accomplish two different stated goals was lost because I was too stupid to check my email. Me - the guy with the website.

The moral of the story is that if you're going to have a communications device, check the damn thing once in a while! Grrrr ... angry, grr


Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:45 PM PDT [link]

If It's Monday, This Must Be the Sports Rant ...

Didn't get to fish this weekend, but that's another rant. There was a bit of sports on, though ...

- That "whoosh" sound you heard was the collected air rushing out of the Marlins balloon. Let's face it - the Fish have been a great story. There's two weeks left in the season, and they're still in the playoff hunt. Or were. They went down to Atlanta and lost a pair of 1-run heartbreakers over the weekend. Yesterday's was particularly gut-wrenching, as the Marlins scored 4 runs in the top of the 10th only to have the Braves roll a 5 in what Joe Girardi called the team's 'worst loss of the year". That leaves them 4 games back in the WC with three teams to pass. Not the end of the world, but the Fat Lady is tuning up ...

- It would be easy to talk about Tiger's early exit from the World Match Play Championships, but the real golf story was the play - or lack thereof - of Michelle Wie at the 84 Lumber Classic. Once again, she teed it up with the men, and for the second consecutive time, she came in last. Not just missed the cut - dead last. Now, I appreciate what she's trying to do, and I respect her talent, but enough's enough. It's time for her to demonstrate that she can focus her considerable abilities on beating the women. She keeps using Tiger as her example, but at her age Tiger was beating the crap out of his peers at the US Amateur. He dominated at a level, then moved on. When it came time for his appearance at the professional level, he already knew how to win - he'd just completed his sixth USGA amateur championship. It is clear from her interviews that Michelle has been convinced by her posse that she's on the right path, so there's no point in trying to reason with her. The pros have been polite, but this weekend there was a serious amount of comment about her taking up a space she didn't deserve. You can't blame her, though - someone offered her the spot. Michelle won't say no - so it's up to the tourney directors to take the hard line and stop inviting her to play. For once, ignore the financial bottom line and do what's right for the sport - and for Michelle.

- If you had any doubt that Pete Rose was an idiot, this should clear it up. A sports memorabilia vendor has a batch of baseballs that Pete signed, "I'm sorry I bet on baseball - Pete Rose" ... I kid you not. A normal Rose-signed ball goes for around $25, but these babies will fetch a grand. What a jackass. Reminds me of the old story of the guy who sidles up to a well-dressed woman and asks her if she'd sleep with him for a million dollars. "I might", she slyly replies. "Well then, will you sleep with me for $20?", he asks. "Of course not", she says indignantly. "What do you think I am - a whore?" "We've already established that," he says. "We're just negotiating the price" ...


Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:20 PM PDT [link]

Friday, September 15th

Weekend Eye Candy

There's a nip in the air, so to speak, and that can only mean one thing - summer's almost gone. But before it ends, one last bikini-clad beachgoer to get you through the weekend.

Isn't it amazing the amounts of money some women pay for breasts and lips and God knows what else, when other women can roll out of the sack - or the surf - and look amazing. Chalk it up to good genes, I guess ...

Now, our sharp-eyed visitors might notice that this isn't the first time Kate Hudson and her bikini has graced our blog. And you'd be right. All I can say in defense is - A) She wasn't single back then or B) We didn't have full size pics back then (click on Kate to see what I mean) or C) And your point is? Enjoy ...


Posted by MarlinNut @ 11:57 AM PDT [link]

Dog Hit By Karma

If I had to guess, I'd say that most people don't hold your average bounty hunter in high esteem. Paid to track down those who skip bail - and using methods that are at times iffy at best - bounty hunters rank somewhere on the evolutionary scale between child molesters and jailhouse informants.

And then there's Dog.

Part biker thug, part surfer dude, Duane "Dog" Chapman is a bounty hunter who has catapulted to fame via his own reality show "Dog the Bounty Hunter" on A&E. His rock star-like persona has grown over the run of the show as he executes ever more over-the-top trackdowns.

His claim to fame - and the incident that brought him to the notice of network executives - was the capture of serial rapist Andrew Luster. Luster had fled to Puerto Vallarta and was using his wealth - he's a Max Factor heir - to support his lifestyle as expatriate on the run. Dog and his team violated several Mexican laws to capture Luster (bounty hunting illegal in Mexico? Imagine!) and were themselves arrested. Once bailed out, Dog promply forgot his promise to return for trial.

Unfortunately for the Dogster, the Mexican Government did not forget. Yesterday, US Marshals arrested Chapman and two members of his team for return to Mexico to face the charges he skipped on. Needless to say, Chapman sounds a lot like those nutballs he chases down ...

Chapman, shackled at his ankles and wearing a blue muscle T-shirt at his first court appearance Thursday, said the government was jealous of his success in hunting down criminals.

"You see what the American government is doing to us? They throw us in jail," Chapman said in a federal courtroom. "I'm so upset about this."

Looks like Chapman forgot that justice is a two-way street, and he's got to meet the requirements of bail just like those he goes after.

I wonder if he was nailed by "Cazador De la Generosidad Perro"? razz


Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:59 AM PDT [link]

I Need a Double-Double ... Stat!

I'm a single guy, so I appreciate a good downblouse shot as much as the next guy - maybe even more. But sometimes, even I gotta pass ...

There was a time when Kate Bosworth was a healthy, fresh-faced young actress coming up in Hollywood. Her athletic good looks got her roles in pics such as "Blue Crush", where she played a chick surfer. More recently, she played the female lead in the Superman remake.

Somewhere along the way, though, she clearly got lost. As this picture painfully shows, she's gotten so thin Lionel Hampton could play the vibes on her ribcage. Unlike Keira Knightly, this isn't a case of a naturally thin actress - Kate was athletic enough to do her own surfing in "Blue Crush" while filling out her bikini quite nicely. There's the usual talk of drug use and the like, but I think it's just one more case of a young actress falling prey to the whole "thin is good" fallacy.

Kate - for the love of God - eat something!


Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:00 AM PDT [link]

Thursday, September 14th

Wake Up and Smell the Dog Shit

The part of Redondo Beach where I live is called Central Redondo. For those of you familiar with the area, it's the band of properties south of Artesia Blvd and north of 190th St. Most of the streets are one-way, having been laid out at a time when the lots were all 150' by 150', and if your family owned a car, you only had one and it had a crank. As the aerospace workers flooded into the region after WWII, there was a need for housing close to the plants in El Segundo. The lots were split into three, with houses built on each or, in an increasing frequency, two houses constructed to form a duplex - that's what the Home Office is.

As the demographics of the home seekers continued to change, the properties changed with them. Single homes gave way to more duplexes, and even the older duplexes were plowed under to make way for larger and larger homes. Today, most of the properties in my neighborhood consist of 50' by 150' lots with 2 two-story homes, each with 2600 sq feet inside. They're crammed with all the amenities today's yuppie couples crave - marble, stainless, and berber - but they don't leave much room for much else.

That's a problem for many of my neighbors. You see, most of them are upwardly mobile types, who hate the thought that someone else has something they don't have. So they sacrificed lot size - land - for nicer fixtures, a nicer car, weekly massages and the like. And, of course, a dog.

Now you might wonder how someone who doesn't own land keeps a dog? Sure, the small ones don't take up much room, but that's not a status symbol - these folks need something big enough to say "I'm important". There is a dog park just a few blocks away, but that's for the common folks and, after all, they're far too busy to take the extra time to go to the dog park. So what's a yuppie to do?

Come by my place at 6AM and you'll see. There they go, walking up and down the block by the dozen, each with a leash (or three) in one hand and a warm bag of crap in the other. Apparently, they figure that it's OK if they don't own a yard so long as someone nearby does. They also think that so long as they scrape most of it up, it's OK to let their dog crap wherever it wants. Never mind that children may be playing on that same grass in a couple of hours, or that there's no way to scrape up dog piss. They collect their baggie of doo and move on. After all - it's not about us ... it's all about them.

And you wonder why they're called "yuppie scum" ... plain


Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:03 PM PDT [link]

And You Thought Our Government Was Nuts ...

These days, it's pretty easy to take potshots at the government. It doesn't really matter what the topic, chances are they're well on their way to screwing it up. But at least they tend to stick to relatively weighty matters in their discussions. The same cannot be said for their counterparts in Russia, who actually considered a measure to send Madonna - yes, that Madonna - into space on one of their rockets.

State Duma member Alexei Mitrofanov, referring to Madonna's reported expression of desire to become a "space tourist," proposed that the lower house of parliament send a formal inquiry to the Russian space agency about organizing a space trip for her in 2008.

"Because of the television possibilities, it would be a pretty serious event in the year of elections in the United States and Russia," he was quoted as saying by the RIA-Novosti news agency.

The Duma turned down the proposal, agencies reported without specifying the vote tally.

Now, admittedly, the Soviets have shown a certain willingness to trade pride for dollars (remember, they almost sent 'NSync's Lance Bass into space - the first gay cosmonaut). We take our space program much more serious - maybe too serious - and only fly politicians like John Glenn, Jake Garn or Bill Nelson. Come to think of it, there are probably more than a few people who'd like to send the current administration on a one-way trip into space ... hehe


Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:36 AM PDT [link]

Wednesday, September 13th

Girl, Put On Some Pants!!

I try to stay away from gossipy topics, but they just ... keep ... dragging ... me ... back ...

We've laughed ... er, talked ... about actress Lindsay Lohan and her less-than-professional behavior before. Seems not a day can pass without some item about LL crossing the gossip wires, and today is no exception. But I see a ... unusual? ... trend developing.

Apparently, Ms. Lohan is a little problem with her dressing skills - she keeps forgetting to put on her panties in the morning. Now, I remember what it was like to be 20 (really, I do!), and we all knew a girl or two who occasionally chose to "air it out". But they weren't in the public eye, and they didn't have paparazzi following them 24-7.

Considering her experience with the press in the last few years, one can only assume that Lindsay knows that every time she gets out of a car, there'll be a dozen flashbulbs popping, and a photog behind each just hoping to get a panty flash. Presumably, she's decided to avoid that possibility by skipping the whole panty thing altogether. As a result, her snapper's been, well, snapped twice in the last week as she exited her ride. I know what they say about bad press being better than no press, but you gotta draw the line somewhere - and this sounds like a pretty good place.

Obviously they're NSFW, so I'm not running the pics here. If you just gotta look, you can find the shots here and here. And if you click the links, don't worry - there's help available.


Posted by MarlinNut @ 03:18 PM PDT [link]

Man Bites Dog, Aquatic Edition - Take 2

Another in the string of strange stories where man takes on fish, and fish wins. This time, it was a freediver who chose the wrong grouper to spear ...

It looks like the fish wrapped the line attached to the spear around the victim's wrist. The fish then went into a hole in a coral rock, effectively pinning the man to the bottom of the ocean.

Considering the size of some grouper, it's amazing this doesn't happen more often. We get stories all the time of guys going over the side under a kelp paddy to try and spear the dorado or yellowtail. I guess it's just a matter of time until we get a local version of this story ... shocked


Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:00 AM PDT [link]

Tuesday, September 12th

Why Music Radio Sucks

I've railed against the current state of radio before, and before that. As someone who spent a couple of years on the radio in college and seriously considered it as a career, it kills me to listen to the controlled, monitored pablum that drools out of my speakers. Anything that smacks of originality is squashed, and if you don't kiss the ass of the sponsors, you're gone.

While I'm a tech guy, I understand that technology doesn't always make things better - sometimes, it's at the heart of evil. This is one of those cases. In today's column over at LARadio.com, there's a mention of a job opening for an assistant Program Director. The listing includes the requirement that the applicant possess "a high level of expertise with Selector music program." Hmm, I thought ... could this be the root of evil itself? So I did a little Googling and found the following:

SELECTOR music scheduling software is the industry standard.

SELECTOR XV handles thousands of possible programming philosophies and format permutations with its rules-based scheduling engine. With the SELECTOR XV Plus model you can also playback audio, rip songs and analyze your music.

SELECTOR works best because it schedules music with the time-honored technique of pinpoint priorities and rotation rules, which was invented by RCS and quickly established as standard methodology in the radio industry worldwide.

And this ...

LINKER is the world’s most widely-used promo scheduler and the companion product to Selector music scheduling. Handle the often overlooked but critically important elements on a station between the songs and the commercials. RCS named those elements “Links” back in the 1980’s and that term remains in popular use today. LINKER helps you personalize and position your station.

Designed to rotate promos, jingles, liners, sweepers, intros, beds, public service announcements, live scripts or special effects, LINKER lets you have total control over the scheduling of these important items on a station log.

Remember when "personalizing and positioning your station" meant hiring bright, witty DJ's who knew the music they were playing? Now, all you need is a fast PC and a big hard drive and you don't need staff or creativity!

Tom Petty really got it right ... angry, grr

And there goes the last DJ
Who plays what he wants to play
And says what he wants to say
Hey, hey, hey
And there goes your freedom of choice
There goes the last human voice
There goes the last DJ


Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:34 AM PDT [link]

Not How He'd Want to Be Remembered ...

While many hated to admit it, Steve Irwin was beloved by his fellow Aussies. As you might expect, his tragic death has led to an outpouring of grief and tributes. Everyone has to find their own way to come to grip with their emotions at times like this, but apparently some of his countrymen have chosen to turn their anger against the perceived villian in the Irwin tale ...

At least 10 stingrays have been killed since "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin was fatally injured by one of the fish, an official said Tuesday, prompting a spokesman for the late TV star's animal charity to urge people not take revenge on the animals.
Michael Hornby, the executive director of Irwin's Wildlife Warriors conservation group, said he was concerned the rays were being hunted and killed in retaliation for Irwin's death.

"It may be some sort of retribution, or it may be fear from certain individuals, or it just may be yet another callous act toward wildlife," he said.

He said killing stingrays was "not what Steve was about."

"We are disgusted and disappointed that people would take this sort of action to hurt wildlife," he said.

Hopefully, this is just a short-term, emotion-driven response and not the sort of species-wide downturn that faced great white sharks in the wake of the movie "Jaws". I'm certain Steve would have pretty harsh words for anyone who feels this is an appropriate tribute to him ...


Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:08 AM PDT [link]

Monday, September 11th

9 - 11 - 01 + 5

Has it really been that long?

It seems like just yesterday we watched the horror unfold live and direct. Technology brought us the events with a detail never before seen and never after forgotten.

And yet, so much has happened since.

FDNY ... Afganistan ... WMD ... Madrid ... TSA ... shoe bombs ... GWB ... Iraq ...

History says that time must pass before an event can be viewed with proper perspective, and we're clearly not there yet. But the press orgy as we approached this particular anniversary told me that we'd reached the point in the recovery process where we could ... celebrate? ... the event. We survived "Flight 93" and "World Trade Center". I guess we can survive Anderson Cooper and Katie Couric, too.

I've never been to NYC, or even had a desire to visit. Yet after the towers fell, "I Heart NY" felt pretty special. I'm an entire continent away, yet with three of the four planes bound for Los Angeles, we had a definite connection.

Everyone had a different reaction to 9-11. My way of coping was to use the internet to collect recollections of the event. Photos, video clips, even entire websites - somehow, collecting and categorizing them kept my hands busy while keeping my mind connected to the event. Eventually, I had - and still have - over 8,500 different files relating to the attack and recovery.

9-11 was the real coming-of-age for the Internet and associated technology. When the communications failed in lower Manhattan, it was the brand new Blackberry that let people get out final messages. And it was through the new concept of a weblog that people could find an outlet for the fear and feelings and questions we all had.

Five years later, we're still looking for answers. I don't think we've done much to solve the problems that led to the attacks. Hell, I don't think we fully understand why they attacked in the first place - and I don't think they do, either. It's dogma versus philosophy, constraint versus liberty. And it ain't something we're gonna be able to bomb into submission.

There will be plenty of time to look for answers. Today is a time to remember. Remember those who were lost, and remember those who remain.

In the aftermath, a lot of songs were written to try to put words to feelings that were difficult to express. I'm reminded of the lyrics of one - "Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning" by Alan Jackson

"I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is Love"

It doesn't matter who you are, or where you live, or what you believe ... today, may your God and my God bless us all.


Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:15 PM PDT [link]

Mini Sports Rant

Spent the weekend on the water, so I didn't take in much sports. Doesn't mean I don't have an opinion, though ...

- Congrats to Maria Sharapova for taking the US Open title. Her second major is a real nail in the coffin of the comparisons to Anna K. If only she could turn down the volume - damn!

- Congrats also to the NFL, which has finally achieved it's apparent goal of putting the interests of the sponsors and networks ahead of the fans. I could live with the stupid umpire uni's, the crappy Superbowl-style pregames featurings has beens and never will be's, and even giving that ass Chris Colinsworth another shot at TV. But their agreement with NBC gave them "exclusive rights to extended highlights" - lawyer-speak for "noboby but Bob Costas can show any meaningful clips of NFL games on Sunday". The result - no more ESPN NFL Primetime. Sure, it technically exists, but it's on Monday and worse, it's without Chris Berman and Tom Jackson! Fellas, that's an offense I can't forgive. Bring on the XFL!


Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:05 AM PDT [link]

Thursday, September 7th

Weekend Eye Candy

I'm off to Avalon tonight for a weekend tournament, so I thought I'd better dig deep to find something special to keep you occupied until I return.

May I present the pride of Puerto Rico, Roselyn Sanchez. You may have seen her in "Without a Trace" or "Rush Hour 2", or the infamous banana scene from the otherwise forgettable "Boat Trip". But I'm betting you didn't see her like this.

And now that you have, I'm betting you won't forget her ... big grin


Aren't you proud of me? I made it all day without even mentioning Paris Hilton being arrested last night for DUI ... oops ...


Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:49 AM PDT [link]

Tell Your Payroll to Shut Up

As a Florida Marlins fan, this was supposed to be our season to forget. With 23 of last year's 25 players shipped out of town, and a total payroll of somewhere around $15 million - $10 million less than the Yankees' Alex Rodriquez alone - these guys were supposed to be the laughingtocks of MLB.

Apparently, someone forgot to tell the Fish. All year long, they've been overachieving, and the parade just keeps coming. Last night, it was Anibal Sanchez's turn, as he threw the first no-hitter in the majors in over 2 1/2 years. The Diamondbacks never really got close to getting a hit, as the traditionally weak Marlins defense made several spectatular plays to back up Sanchez. "Old Guys" Joe Borchard and Miguel Cabrera each homered, giving the Marlins all the offense they would need.

Sanchez, who came to the Marlins along with Hanley Ramirez from the Red Sox in the Lowell-Beckett deal, started the year at Double AA Carolina, where his manager believed he didn't have the mental toughness to make it at this level. I'm thinking you got that one wrong, Skip ...

As special as the no-hitter is, it may be even more important to have it come now when the team is hip-deep in the race for the wild card slot. If anyone thought Girardi's kids were going to fold, this serves as an emphatic "NO".


Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:47 AM PDT [link]

Wednesday, September 6th

Heeeere's Katie!

Katie Couric made her much-anticipated debut at the helm of the "CBS Evening News" last night, and no, the world didn't end.

Like most of America, I tuned in just to see the historical nature of the event. While it wasn't a blockbuster, I'd say it wasn't a disaster, either. CBS had promised changes in the format along with the new host, and the overall effect made it quite different than the staid male-dominated broadcasts we've seen over the years.

In some ways, the shock value of a new, upbeat host and a modernized format may be too much for some to take. Right from the start, though, she made it clear she was going to do it her way. The traditionally dour newsman intro of "Good Evening" was replaced with a still-too-perky "Hi Everyone". That, combined with a feature on the upcoming Vanity Fair spread of the TomKat spawn ("A CBS exclusive", gushed Couric) and a gratuitous shot of the host's oft-written-about legs gave the first show a feel more reminiscent of "Entertainment Tonight" than "Evening News".

"I felt the show, taken as a whole, had too much softness to it," said Bob Zelnick, a former ABC News correspondent and current Boston University journalism professor. He said, however, that Couric won't really be judged until the public sees her perform when big news breaks.

Couric's only real nod to her newbie status came at the end, with a joking report on her difficulties coming up with a signoff. She showed clips of Cronkite, Chet Huntley, Dan Rather, and even fictitious anchormen Ted Baxter and Ron Burgundy giving their final words, then invited viewers to submit suggestions on the CBS News Web site.

"Thank you so much for watching," she said, "and I hope to see you tomorrow night."

As the end credits rolled, Couric, wearing a white jacket over a black shirt and skirt, was leaning against the edge of her desk, showing her famous legs.

She gulped a celebratory martini handed to her when the cameras turned off, according to CBSNews.com.

To be fair, I felt she did a good job for someone under such incredible scrutiny, but the baggage she brings from her previous gig on the Today show will be difficult to overcome. The ratings were a smash, but we'll have to wait and see how it goes once everyone goes back their primary news sources - which for most people does not include network news broadcasts.

You do have to respect her for the martini, though - my kind of broad! wink

Oh, and Rosie O'Donnell - part of the extended game of musical chairs initiated by Couric's move - made her debut today on "The View". But the planet will have to start rotating backwards before I make an entry about either that person or that show ... crazy


Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:44 AM PDT [link]

Tuesday, September 5th

Ooh - I Smell a Catfight ... or something ...

For reasons known only to her, original AI Kelly Clarkson doesn't like being compared to a porn star. She recently sold her $60K hot pink Ford Mustang when she learned that adult film actress Alana Evans owned an identical model.

"She was upset that I had the same car and threw a big fit," says Evans, star of "Britney Rears 3" and host of "Private Calls," Playboy's weekly radio show on Sirius. "It's insulting because she doesn't even know me. I thought, 'What kind of American Idol is this?' It's funny because when Kelly had the car, some of my friends saw her and asked me, 'Who was that fat brunette driving your car?' "


The really interesting part is that Clarkson is the voice of the new Ford advertising campaign, and they're tied together for the release of her upcoming album. In what I assumed was an unrelated story, Bill Ford has offered to resign as CEO. I sense a glizy scandal forming ... smile

UPDATE: Wow - that didn't take long! Ford just announced they've hired a new CEO - and it's one of our Boeing guys, Alan Mulally! Now I'm really pissed at Kelly ...


Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:40 PM PDT [link]

The Answer is "Crikey" ...

And the question is, "What were Steve Irwin's last words as he pulled the stingray barb out of his chest?"

Life is a series of random events, and once in a while one of those random events up and kills you. That's especially true if you make your living poking sticks at wild animals.

I, like most folks, had a love/hate relationship with Steve Irwin. His over-the-top antics seemed buffoonish at times, and I had a hunch that the only thing between tragedy and good TV were his reflexes and good luck. Apparently, though, that luck ran out yesterday.

Deep down, Steve was a conservationist and an ambassador for animals, and that is how he should be remembered. Many people were exposed to wild animals through his encounters, and learned the value of working to preserve the planet's endangered species.

I've caught many stingrays, and have seen first-hand those nasty barbs they have in the tail. It's pretty hard to get nailed in the chest, but then I never tried to get up close and personal the way you just know he did. That's the danger you face when you come in contact with an animal with which you are not as familiar as, say, crocodiles. As one radio voice said yesterday on the marlin grounds, "there's something to be said for sticking with what you know ..."

My condolences go out to Steve's widow, Terry, their children Bindi and Bob, and all those who knew and loved him. He was a beauty ...

UPDATE: For fans of '60s British marionettes, this pic floating around the Internet brings a smile at a sad time ...


Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:10 AM PDT [link]

Monday ... er Tuesday Sports Rant

Hey, even I get the holidays off ...

- Man, it's been a tough offseason for Ben Roethlisberger. First he nearly loses his head - literally - in a motorcycle accident. Then, after a gritty preseason recovery, he has an emergency appendectomy the week before the season starts. Someone's karma must have worn a little thin ...

- I'm not sure what they're feeding Tiger Woods, but I'll have some, please. He won his fifth consecutive start yesterday, and did it in the best possible fashion. Vijay Singh - he of the perpetual "I just stepped in dog shit" facial expression, started the day with a 3-stroke lead and shot a final round 68 - and still lost by two shots. Tiger spanked him like a baby with a soiled diaper, scoring a pair of eagles on the front nine and never looking back. For those of you keeping score, that's 7 wins in 14 starts in 2006 - with the trauma and recovery from losing his father right in the middle of it. Tiger uttered the most honest answer I've ever heard from him when asked by Andy North, "what's next?" Eldrick's answer? "Sleep" ...

- Never one to say I told you so, but the Marlins became the first team in MLB history to reach the .500 mark after being 20 games under with their win yesterday. These guys are really a lot of fun to watch, and we could be seeing the beginning of something pretty special here. Wonder how all those guys who sucked the Marlins roster dry last winter are feeling right now - I'm talking to you, Red Sox ...

- So the truth has finally come out - it was a crack about his sister that sent Zinedane Zidane into a headbutting rage in the finals of the World Cup. Italian defender Marco Materazzi, the recipient of the butt heard 'round the world, talked about the incident in an interview over the weekend.

"We both spoke and I wasn't the first. I held his shirt but don't you think it is a provocation to say that 'if you want my shirt I will give it you afterwards'?

"I replied to Zidane that I would prefer his sister, that is true. I brought up his sister and that wasn't a nice thing, that is true," said Materazzi.

"Thankfully there are tens of footballers who could confirm that much worse things are said on the field," added the Inter Milan defender.

Got any naked pictures of your wife? Want some?

- I'm sorry, but when a matchup of two leading college football teams results in a whopping total of 3 yards of rushing offense, it's pretty hard to get excited about the upcoming season. #11 FSU (1 yd) defeated #12 Miami (2 yds) 13 to 10 last night in a nationally televised game. But it wasn't that the defenses were that good - the offenses were that bad. Did these guys forget that you need to reload each season with new weapons? Texas (56-7) certainly figured it out ... wonder about USC?


Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:47 AM PDT [link]

About the MB

Unvarnished, unedited and uncensored views from your host on just about any topic you can imagine. I make you no promise but this - we may agree or disagree, but you'll always get the truth - as I see it ...

MarlinBlog Links


Entries By Date

September 2006

Search Archives

Best O' The Blogs

LA Observed
Tabloid Baby
Channel Island
Dilbert Blog
Blog Maverick

Find Us On Facebook

Bloggers' Rights at EFF

Support the MarlinBlog!!