Boo!

Happy Halloween from the Home Office. Did we scare you? OK, try this: $4 gasoline!

OK, I'll give it up. Halloween has always been a holiday for the kiddies, but more and more you see adults getting into the act. Heck, even I dressed up for work today as a software nerd. Of course, only about half of the people think it's a costume ...

If you're taking your kids out tonight, be careful - there's a lot of dangerous things awaiting them. Run that candy through the metal detector. And if you're on the road, use your head and stay sober. You won't be able to live with yourself otherwise ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:43 AM PST [link]

Yankee Storm Sucks Up Grady Little

The circus that is the New York Yankees claimed another victim today as Dodgers manager Grady Little resigned suddenly, citing "personal reasons". I think he was personally disgusted at the club's blatant attempt to lure first Joe Girardi and then Joe Torre to take what was at that point still Little's job. Girardi opted instead to sign a 3 year, $6 million contract to replace Torre with the Yankees, leaving Torre without a job and the Dodgers without a skipper. Certainly, Torre would be a great add for the Dodgers, assuming that the tightwads who own the club will pony up the dough. The really interesting rumor is that perhaps A-Rod would follow Joe from the Bronx to the Ravine. Again, can't imagine the McCourts laying out that kind of cash, but it does make for a damned interesting scenario. In the meantime, I feel for Little, who got screwed in the deal. He'll show his class in the quiet manner he simply accepts his fate, however.

Stay tuned ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:12 PM PST [link]

RIP Robert Goulet

We received late word here at the Home Office that Robert Goulet died today. It had been announced over the weekend that he was in need of a lung transplant, and apparently he died before one could be found. Goulet was a star in his native Canada before be became famous to Americans as Lancelot in the Broadway production of Camelot. You needed gravitas and talent to go toe to toe with Richard Burton in his prime, and Bob Goulet had both. He was one of those rare individuals who could appear almost ridiculously cool and make you believe, and yet poke fun at his own image without ruining that belief. He was 73, and he will be missed.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:55 PM PST [link]

On The Bright Side ...

Feeling a little draggy this morning? Having a tough time getting started? Wonder why it's still so dark?

Me too. Turns out, yesterday should have been the day Daylight Savings Time ended and we got our hour back. But when the Bush Administration changed the DST rules - and screwed up automated software systems everywhere - it pushed the change to next week. Now, some items have updated the algorithms that determine clock settings, but not everything, leading to confusion for a week. Your computer will tell you it's 7PM, but your cellphone will say 6 - and your VCR just doesn't give a damn what time it is, since it's never right, anyway.

The government claims that the change, inacted as part of the 2005 Energy Conservation Act, saves 1% of overall energy, whatever that means. I'd like to see that contrasted with the cost of changing all the software, and the irate people who get screwed in one way or another by the change.

But sometimes, you gotta take the good with the bad - like this killer sunrise I saw this morning from the Home Office that I'd have missed otherwise ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:08 AM PST [link]

Love It When A Plan Comes Together

Last Tuesday, we showed the now-famous picture of a group of Orange County firefighters deploying their safety shields as a last-ditch defense against a quick-moving fire. Word is today that they were successful - and that it was the first time in OC history that any of their firefighters had needed to field-test the shelters. And the picture? Already being called a shoo-in for a Pulitzer ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:59 AM PST [link]

Sports Rant

Spent most of the weekend sanding and painting, so sports brought a nice respite for my poor hands ...

- Well, that was quick. Remember when the Rockies had won 21 of 22 games? Well, they's still won 22 - only now it's of 26, as the Red Sox steamrolled them in 4 to take their second World Series title in 4 years. The games weren't even that interesting - sort of like watching a predator tear apart a bunny. Just an efficient dismantling of what was purported to be the best the National League had to offer. I note with a mixture of pride and disappointment that the MVP of the series was third baseman Mike Lowell, a cornerstone of the Marlins' 2003 championship team. Jettisoned in 2005 in the Josh Beckett trade, Lowell had his best season ever in 2007, which should raise his value on the free agent market significantly.

- Start the bidding: A-Rod's opted out of his contract. Not that's any surprise, considering his agent is A-Hole ... er, Scott Boras. Boras has made it clear that any player he represents will opt out at the earliest opportunity if the market warrants it. He's the one who drove J. D. Drew to do the same last year with the Dodgers, and that worked out pretty good. Scary to think what Rodriguez - who will likely pick up his third AL MVP award in a couple of weeks - will attract on the free agent market. The contract he's opting out of was that megadeal he signed with the Rangers - 10 years, $252 million. At the time, it was far beyond anything else out there, and has been pointed to as a key in the ruination of the sport. Now it's just chump change, and he'll probably pull down something on the far side of 30 mil a season in the new one. Yikes!!

- The NFL wants Europe to get on board with our style of football, and raised the stakes in that effort by playing a regular season game Sunday at Wembley Stadium in London. While it was sold out quickly (90,000 screaming fans!), I'd argue that if they really want to make an impact they should send a better game than the Giants and Dolphins. They did things right by having F1 mega-rookie Lewis Hamilton and English National Team (the real football) star John Terry as honorary captains. For all the hoopla, though, I'm told the most flashbulbs went off when the Dolphin cheerleaders took the field ...

- Well, USC's still in the BCS standing, but just barely. Underdogs for the first time in years, they lost over the weekend to the Oregon Ducks - the Ducks! - in Eugene. Everyone talks about how the results this year indicate the parity present in college football today, and I think there's some truth to that. But I think what it really points to is what an imprecise science it is to try and look at a bunch of high school juniors and try to predict how they'll play at the college level. USC has had the best rated recruiting class for the last few years, and clearly the pundits got it wrong. Then there's Notre Dame, and you don't even want to get me started there. Two things you don't want to bet on in sports - boxing and college football, cause they're both just too damned unpredictable.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:38 AM PST [link]

Weekend Eye Candy - TSA Edition Part 2

A couple of weeks ago, we brought you the story of actress Kate Beckinsale being groped ... er, thoroughly searched ... by the hard working folks of the Transportation Safety Agency. At the time, we marvelled that this was the one velvet rope where celebrity didn't get any advantages and wondered if this was the norm.

I'm happy to report that it apparently is. Here we see uber-model (and the world's most famous virgin) Adriana Lima going through Security at LAX. She's performing a ritual familiar to business travelers everywhere - "The Dance Of The Laptop", where you have to pull out your computer for X-raying. She does seem to be having a much better time at it than I do, though. And once again, no makeup on but looks fantastic. There's something to be said for good genetics ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:15 AM PST [link]

New High In Lows

In the aftermath of tragedy, it's always heartwarming to hear the stories of individuals who went out of their way to help their fellow man. Unfortunately, there's also those stories of people taking advantage of the situation.

Some chucklehead claims to have caught a bunch of ashes from one of the SoCal fires, put them into a baggie, and is trying to sell it on eBay. I'm not sure what's more pathetic - the thought that someone would do this, or the thought that some other jackhole would actually bid on it.

UPDATE: Apparently, eBay agrees, because they pulled the auction off the system.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:11 PM PST [link]

The Battles Continue

Today is the fifth day of the SoCal firestorm, and most of the fires - and all of the largest - continue uncontained. As the fires move across virgin territory, authorities are able to go into some of the areas hit earlier in the week to assess damage. Unfortunately, that means we're starting to hear some of the bad news that was feared all along.

Two bodies were found in a burned home in Poway, and four more were found in an open area near the border. That last group are presumed to be illegal immigrants trying to move north who were caught up in the flames. With the steady stream of workers and their familes that comes from the south, I doubt they are the only ones to meet this fate.

On a personal note, today was the first day the air was clean enough to exercise outside, although after a brisk walk my nose and lungs are feeling it. It's that same sense you get when you go into a musty, dusty room - not enough to bother your eyes, but enough to choke your lungs if you stay in there. They say we'll be dealing with this air for another couple of weeks. The good news - both for me and for those fighting the fires - is that I felt a definite onshore breeze at the beach this afternoon. That will bring relief to the firefighters, as it raises the humidity and drops the temperature. It also means it'll push all the smoky air inland - but they're used to smog anyway. Sorry!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:11 PM PST [link]

FireWatch - Day 4

They're calling our current firestorms the largest US natural disaster since Hurricane Katrina, and I'd have to agree. It'll be weeks until they can get their hands around all the numbers, but they'll be staggering - entire neighborhoods burned to the ground, miles and miles of scorched earth, nearly a million people evacuated.

The good news is that there has only been 1 fatality - damned near amazing, if you ask me. I think that since so many of the evacuees are from the same general area as the Cedar Fire of 2003, they're taking the whole thing far more serious than in the past. There's also a new reverse 911 system in place in many of the affected areas, that calls individuals to tell them to flee.

As you can see from the picture, there's a whole bunch of fires, and a ton of smoke in the air. The red dots represent the various fires, and the yellow dot is me. I'm feeling surrounded - fires on the north, east and south, and ocean on the west. Fortunately, the PV peninsula remains fire-free - so far.

More to follow ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:00 AM PST [link]

My Kind of Girl

We all know that our Aussie friends are a fun-loving bunch, but apparently even they have limits. A couple of barmaids in Pinjarra have been fined for entertaining customers in a way that crossed the line ...

The woman "is alleged to have also crushed beer cans between her breasts during one of the offences," in breach of hotel licensing laws, police from the Peel district of Western Australia said in a statement.

The barmaid and the hotel manager were both fined A$1,000, while an off-duty barmaid was fined A$500 for helping to hang spoons from the woman's nipples, police said.

Having seen the size of some of those Australian beer cans, I fear those breasts might require their own ZIP code ...

Thanks to my friend Anna for pointing this one out to me ... I'm pretty sure she'd never get caught doing this ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:41 AM PST [link]

Welcome To The Mouth Of Hell

This month's issue of Los Angeles Magazine has a cover article reminding Angelinos that while we're known for the quakes and the riots, it's the wildfires we need to look out for. They included a blow-by-blow description of last spring's Griffith Park fire, and just how close it came to taking out both homes and people. It seemed like an appropriate article as we started into fire season in SoCal. Little did they know just how appropriate ...

It's hard to describe just how bad it is right now. The numbers are staggering: Thousands of homes lost, hundreds of thousands of acres burned, nearly a million people displaced from their homes - including 1 in 6 residents of San Diego County. Resources are stretched so thin that some of the new fires burn for hours before they can be fought - often giving them the time they need to establish into a monster. We've got that trifecta going - hot weather, dry lands and Santa Ana winds - and now we're paying the price in spades.

You can't say enough about the people who fight these fires, and I only wish there were more. that's the real problem right now - not enough trucks, planes and people. Earlier I was watching a self-serving politician complain that his region wasn't getting the resources it needed to fight the fires there, and how as a policy maker he was going to make sure that those responsible for not providing those resources would be held accountable. That's the problem, though - he's perfectly willing to cry for the resources now, but what do you think would have happened if someone would have presented the plan for acquiring those resources to him last year - along with what they would cost? Damned right - it'd never make it through. No one seems willing to take the steps when they need to be taken, whether it's funding the needed resources or clearing the brush around their homes or making sure they have a full inventory of their belongings and an evacuation plan should they have to flee. But they all seem to find the news crew microphones just fine ...

The Home Office is in one of the few regions of SoCal where it's not burning, and the Palos Verdes Peninsula - the only real burnable space nearby - is safe for now. But even though we're at least 25 miles from the nearest fire, there's a constant rain of ash falling here. It looks like snow, but I wouldn't recommend letting the flakes land on your tongue.

We're looking at another couple of days of hot weather and wind, and this could still get worse. Stay tuned ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:15 PM PST [link]

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Carlsbad ...

Actually, it's not that funny after all.

Let’s say you’re a business traveler sitting in the airport in St. Louis. Killing time as you wait for your flight, your gaze wanders to the gate monitor broadcasting the latest news from CNN. All you see are flames as the voice over tells you that Southern California is on fire again, with over 1,000 homes and 300,000 acres lost – most in San Diego County. Oh, and where are you flying today? San Diego. Is it any surprise if your response isn’t just “No” but “Hell No”? Better buckle up – it’s gonna be a bumpy flight.

That was the scenario facing most of the folks who planned to attend a three-day user group meeting that I was supposed to be attending starting this morning. I say “supposed” because the organizers – those same folks sitting in the St. Louis airport – wisely cancelled the conference yesterday afternoon.

The largest fire, dubbed the “Witch Fire” is burning due east of Carlsbad and, as one of the fire chiefs said yesterday, “It might burn all the way to the beach.” It’s not there yet, but as you can see from this shot taken of the hotel at which we were going to meet, it ain’t far …

The email I received from our hosts this morning puts it pretty succinct:

Our Carlsbad office was evacuated yesterday afternoon. We don’t know how long the office there will be shut down, but we are getting frequent updates regarding fire containment and risks.

In addition to the office being shut down, we have at least a dozen employees that have been displaced from their homes. As a result, we will be slightly impacted in our normal operations.

Please keep our folks in your thoughts this week.

Bet your ass ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:15 AM PST [link]

Quick Sports Rant

This one'll be short and sweet, as I'm preparing for a business trip ...

- Good to see the Cleveland Indians rise to the occasion. You remember the Indians - the guys who got within an out of winning the '97 Series before handing it to the Marlins? The guys from "Major League"? Everyone said the Red Sox were toast after going down 3 to 1 to the Tribe, but never underestimate the depths to which a true loser can plunge. They not only lost Game 5 in Cleveland (which was forgiveable), but got their a$$es handed to them in 6 and 7 back in Boston. I'm not sure the real Indians made it off the team charter - their defense looked like they pulled the Single-A team out of their offseason and trotted them out. Pretty pathetic. I just hope the Rockies can keep it rolling ...

- The Patriots are now 7 & 0 and are looking mighty unbeatable, but the real news was coach Bill Belichick demonstrated once again his assholiness. The Pats were tearing the Dolphins a fresh blowhole, leading by 28 points, when Matt Cassel - the one-time caddie to Carson Palmer at USC who probably hasn't started a game since high school - got a chance to play. Three plays into his playing time, he was intercepted by JAson Taylor, who ran it back to trim the lead to 42-21. How does The Hoodie respond? He promptly benches Cassel and puts Tom Brady - who already had 5 TD passes earlier - back into the game. Brady responded by tossing #6, BTW. C'mon, Bill - have a little faith. This isn't the Big 12 where running up the score is the norm. How do you think Cassel will respond now if Brady goes down with an injury after his coach has shown so much faith in him?

- The LA Galaxy quietly ended their season yesterday with a 1-nil loss to the Chicago Fire. LA needed to win and hope for others to help in order to make the MLS Playoffs, and the loss ended their slim chances. But the run to end the season was impressive and should carry into next year, when they'll have a healthy David Beckham for the duration. A tip of the cap to Cobi Jones, who ended his 12-year career yesterday, having played from the start with the Galaxy. He served well for many years as the face of US soccer, and his dredlocks will be missed.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:43 PM PST [link]

Sweet Smelling Eye Candy

Meet Kelly Brook. She's a British model / celebrity whose claim to fame should be pretty obvious. She's also appearing in the latest edition of their version of "Dancing With The Stars", which is introducing her to a whole new group of fans.

I clearly don't understand women, so maybe someone could explain to me why someone who looks like this would be dating Billy Zane. You remember Billy - he was the bad guy in Titanic, only now he's balder and fatter. No accounting for taste.

Anyway, Kelly introduced a new line of fragrances this week, which is all the excuse we need to give her the coveted slot as Eye Candy of the Week.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:35 AM PST [link]

Escaping the Gotham Circus

As I write this, the New York Yankees are holding a news conference to explain why they don't have a manager any more. Held in an embarassing limbo since the Yankees were drummed out of the playoffs by the Indians, manager Joe Torre was offered a contract extention this morning, and the press reported the news conference was to announce that Torre would be returning to skipper the Yankees for another year. But in the opening statement of the conference, Yankee officials were forced to explain that while they had indeed offered a new contract to Torre, he had turned it down. Oops.

Now, Torre's decision could be because of the snub of being allowed to twist in the breeze for the last week, or the change in leadership as control of the team transfers from one generation of Steinbrenner to the other. It could even be due to the pathetic restructuring of his contract, where much of the money he was guaranteed in past years was turned into "incentive bonuses" he could achieve only by bringing the team to the World Series.

I think, however, that after over a decade as the ringmaster of the Yankee circus, Joe had simply had enough. He's not a young man any more, and this was his third managerial stop. He's done all he could do as a manager, and doesn't appear to aspire to the general manager position. He's made a ton of money, and I think he just wants to go home.

Of course, the fact that he could do so and make the Yankees look like jackasses at the same time probably didn't hurt ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 01:19 PM PST [link]

500 Little Nuggets of Joy

For those of you who keep track of such things (and fear not - there's a treatment program for it), this is the 500th posting here at the ol' MB. Do the math, and you'll see that it works out to just over a post a day - although I did miss yesterday

Some days, it's a struggle to find something to talk about - like today, when I'm reduced to posting about posting, and others they just keep flowing. Fear not, though, we're going to keep them coming no matter what.

It's up to you to decide if that's a good thing ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:37 PM PST [link]

It's Monday ... It's a Sports Rant!

It's late on Monday, so we get today's sports as well as the weekend ...

- I'm not sure what they're feeding the Colorado Rockies, but I'll take a heapin' helping, thanks. The Rocks just finished off a sweep of the Arizona Diamondbacks - which follows a similar sweep of the Phillies. For those of you keeping track, that's 20 victories in 21 games - unf-rakking-believable! The Rockies came into existance the same time as my beloved Florida Marlins, so we always wanted to do better than they did. Once we won that second World Series, though, I figured that was over. Now that Colorado is headed for the Series, it might be on once again ...

- It's looking more and more like the folks who get to run into the Rocky buzzsaw next will be the Cleveland Indians, who rolled the Red Sox this evening. That comes on the heels of their extra inning victory in Game 2 where they scored 7 (!) in the 11th. Daisuke Matsuzaka wasn't the answer for the Sox, who paid over $100 million for the right to put him on the hill in games just like this one. Not much of a return on investment, if you ask me.

- Ever since 1972, the members of that seasons Miami Dolphins squad - the last to go undefeated for the season - have celebrated with champagne when the last umbeaten team falls. They might not get the chance this year, as the New England Patriots are now 6 and 0 after humbling the previously unbeaten Dallas Cowboys. This was billed as the "Game of the Season", and it was for about 2 1/2 quarters. But then Tom Brady and Co found another gear and buried the 'Boys. This is how to run a football team: last year, the Patriot receivers couldn't find their asses with both hands ... and damned well couldn't catch the ball. So they flushed the whole bunch and brought in three of the leagues premier wideouts, and now Brady is making a run at Peyton Manning's single season TD record. Don't bother icing the bubbly quite yet, Csonk - if the Colts don't take them out on Nov 4th, the Pats just might run the table.

- By now, we were supposed to be talking about what a waste of effort the whole Beckham experiment had been for the Los Angeles Galaxy and MLS. But a funny thing happened on the way to missing the playoffs ... the Galaxy learned how to win without their captain. On the brink of elimination, the Galaxy have rolled off 5 straight wins - including their first three MLS road victories of the season. Now with two games left, it appears Becks is back from the knee injury that's benched him since August. Will the star make a difference, or will he poison the newly-found chemistry. I don't know, but it at least makes the games worth watching ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:54 PM PST [link]

Weekend Eye Candy - Sexiest Woman Alive Edition

I've been AFTK (Away From The Keyboard) for a couple of days, so no blog entries. I think this might make up for it, though ...

Like a lot of us, Esquire Magazine keeps an eye out for pretty girls. Unlike most of us, though, they see enough to actually declare one to be the Sexiest Woman Alive. Considering just how many women there are in the world, that might be pretty bold. But their choice - actress Charlize Theron - looks like she could stand up to the competition. As they stated in the press release announcing the choice, Theron

"combines unbelievable beauty with a smart mind and this attitude like she's almost one of the guys, like you could hang out and have a beer with, and all of that adds up to sexy."

OK, I'm not going to complain, even if it looks like she could use a trip to the gym (hey - I live in Cali). Besides, her name tickles as it rolls off my tongue.

But I suspect there's a lot of other worthy candidates out there. What do you think? Feel free to comment ....

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:45 AM PST [link]

The Lesser Of Two Pains ...

Having never been married ... or even very close ... I can't imagine how difficult it must be to finally decide that a marriage has run its course and take steps to end it. Under any circumstances, it must be very difficult. But seeing how ugly some marriages become, I can also understand how opting for divorce could be seen as less painful as remaining in the relationship - sort of like choosing to jump off the burning building to one's death rather than waiting for the flames.

Apparently - and not surprisingly - scientific research support the idea ...

In a study of 9,011 British civil servants, most of them married, those with the worst close relationships were 34 percent more likely to have heart attacks or other heart trouble during 12 years of follow-up than those with good relationships. That included partners, close relatives and friends.

"What we add here is that, 'OK, being married is in general good, but be careful about the kind of person you have married.' The quality of the relationship matters," said lead author Roberto De Vogli, a researcher with University College in London.

Much like marriage, though, it's not as cut and dried as all that:

Another recent study also looked at quality of relationships but had different results. There was no association between marital woes in general and risks for heart disease or early death. But it did find, over a 10-year follow-up, that women who keep silent during marital arguments had an increased risk of dying compared with wives who expressed their feelings during fights. What appeared to matter more for men was just being married; married men were less likely to die during the follow-up than single men.

I have a friend who recently showed her lump of a husband the door. She also has no problem whatsoever in expressing her opinions. Considering the bounce in her step, smile on her face and lightness in her shoulders, I'd say she's proof of the validity of both studies.

I, on the other hand, would appear to need to get my a$$ in gear and get married ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:19 AM PST [link]

Dumb as a Postal Bag of Hammers ...

I have a new favorite in the category of "stupidest branch of government" - the Postal Service. Now, these guys have been near the top of everyone's list for years (there's a reason we call it "going postal") for their too-frequent and too-unjustified rate hikes. But they've hit a new low - they no longer sell postage stamps!!!

Being basically anti-social, when I need stamps I'll head over to the Post Office's main branch in Redondo Beach during off hours armed with a pocketful of quarters squirreled away from my change. I feed the machine in the lobby until I'm out of change and take home my stamps.

But yesterday, when I tried to buy my stamps, the machines were dark and empty, and had a sign indicating that they were being removed from service! I looked around the lobby, but there weren't any other machines - they simply weren't going to sell stamps anymore! I tried a second post office, but found the same deal - this is the future of your postal service.

The sign on the machine said that I could visit USPS.gov to buy stamps online or locate "alternate sources". When I got home, I found that the "alternate sources" are supermarkets! I just need stamps, goddamn it! What's worse, when I used their online ordering service to buy a roll of stamps, I not only had to go through the process of creating an account - one that required far too much personal information, IMO - but had to pay $1 "shipping" for the damned things!

In researching this entry, I found that this isn't a new policy - they've been planning it for nearly a year, and it just now reached my Post Office. I understand their desire to embrace technology and all, but c'mon ...

Once again, the taxpayer is tossed under the bus by his own government. I'd send them a complaint letter ... if only I had some @#$%ing stamps ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 11:07 AM PST [link]

Monday Sports Rant

Back by popular demand ...

- If you wondering when the bloom would come off the Pete Carroll rose at USC, the answer was delivered Saturday afternoon, as the Stanford Cardinal delivered an earthshaking beatdown to the previously undefeated Trojans. Hate to say "told ya so", but I saw this coming after the anemic performance last weekend against the Washington Huskies. If you have a mediocre QB and can't hang on to the ball, this kind of crap is gonna happen. Frankly, I think the pollsters were kind in only dropping them to 10th - Michigan dropped from 5 to out of the poll for their loss to Appalachian State, which I'd argue was less of an upset than this. Now we're gonna learn what SC is really made of ...

- In the shadow of the Trojans' meltdown, don't lose sight of the great performance by the Cardinal and their coach, Jim Harbaugh. They hung tough, scored when they had to, and earned the victory. Finally, there's gonna be another highlight for the reel to go with the trombone player getting mowed over ...

- No one is happier at the Trojans' failure than UCLA coach Karl Dorrell. Biggest story in LA - hell, the college football world - Saturday would have been the Bruins getting rolled by Notre Dame had SC not stepped on their dick. C'mon - the Irish can't find their ass with both hands, and you let them do this to you? Puleeze ...

- Congrats to the Yankees for being the only team in the Divisional Series to avoid being swept, as they overcame an early deficit to beat the Indians yesterday. The same can't be said for the Cubs, Angels or Phillies, all of whom ended up on the wrong end of the broom. No one's gonna face more heat for being swept than Cubs manager Lou Pinella, whose questionable decisions regarding his pitching staff will be seen (right or wrong) as the cause for their downfall. It certainly played a part, but you gotta spread the love across the board when you are swept out. My friend Anna flew to Phoenix to watch her beloved Cubbies on Thursday only to see them turn in a lame performance. Sorry, amiga ... :-(

- If you were Joe Torre, would you even stick around for another season when George Steinbrenner rides your ass the way he does? Hell, he's the highest paid manager in baseball - he's set for life and can ride off laughing at the Boss. Apparently, one of the bean counters reminded Steinbrenner that he's paid $1.2 billion - yes, billion - in salary and luxury tax penalties since they last won the World Series nine years ago. Since then, they got rolled by the Fish in 2003, and are in danger of being 1 and done for the second year in a row. There was a time when George was a player in the game; now he's just a laughable shell of an owner that reminds me far too much of the Rainders' Al Davis - and not in a good way.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:59 AM PST [link]

Weekend Eye Candy - TSA Edition

In the years since 9-11. our government has added lots of new rules and regulations to our lives, all in the name of "protecting" us. We can argue (and certainly should) about whether those rules actually help or hurt, but we'll save that for another time. Today, we want to focus on just a small part of the changes.

I fly a lot for work, so I know first hand what a pain in the ass the new security requirements can be. Heck, there's so many new rules that they had to develop a whole new branch of the government - the Transportation Security Agency - just to inforce them. If you fly, you know the drill - shoes off, laptop out, pockets empty, walk through the scanner - and God help you if you still set off the alarm!

I suppose if there's any kind of a bright side to it all it's the fact that apparently, unlike say your favorite restaurant or nightclub, there's no exceptions made for the rich and famous. Here we see actress Kate Beckinsale facing the TSA music after apparently setting off the alarm. Barefoot, simple black clothes and no makeup - and she still looks damned sexy. It's not fair, I tell ya ...

You know, I've never had any desire to work for the goverment, but I'd trade places with that TSA agent in a heartbeat - at least for a moment ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:29 AM PST [link]

Happy Birthday Sputnik!

Fifty years ago today, ham radio operators discovered a new signal to listen to - one unlike anything they'd heard before ...

beep ... beep ... beep ...

The government was intrigued as well, but only because of where that sound was coming from - a small metallic sphere passing overhead every 90 minutes. And it placed there by - gasp - the Russians.

Sputnik.

It's not like we weren't trying out own efforts to put a satellite in orbit - it's just that theirs was up there, and ours kept blowing up. And the generals all knew that if they could put a beeping sphere over our heads, it was just a matter of time until they could rain nukes down upon America.

So began the "space race" - a Cold War game of chicken to see who could possess the ultimate high ground. The Soviet Union held the high hand for quite a while, following the success of Sputnik with the first astronaut, Yuri Gagarin. It wasn't until the late Sixties when the Russians stumbled and we placed men on the moon that we finally nudged ahead. In fact, the Kremlin's desire to maintain their space edge drained their coffers to the point that it played a significant role in the eventual breakup of the Soviet Union.

Today, of course, we couldn't imagine life without products that depend on satellites. Watching the MLB playoffs? How do you think that signal gets from Fenway Park to your TV? Heading offshore this weekend? It's a satellite that allows your EPIRB to summon the Coast Guard. Hitting the ATM on the way home? That ATM will query your bank to see if you have sufficient funds using - that's right - a satellite.

It was just a little sphere. But it was an amazing achievement.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:58 PM PST [link]

RIP Tawn Mastrey

If you were a headbanger in SoCal twenty years ago - as I was, this news will probably hit you hard.

Tawn Mastrey, the Leather Num, has died.

In 1987, KMET - the greatest rock and roll station that ever was - went off the air. At about the same time, the LA hair metal scene was reaching its zenith, and there was only one place for us to switch our listening loyalty: 105.5 Pure Rock KNAC. One of the biggest reasons to do so was the sultry voice of Tawn Mastrey.

As the metal mania faded, Tawn made the jump to Scott Shannon's grand Pirate Radio experiment, but that, too, didn't last. Like any radio pro, though, Tawn survived, moving from LA to Portland to Minneapolis in search of a microphone and an FM signal.

Unfortunately, her travels have come to an end, as she succumbed to liver damage yesterday. Only 53, she'd contracted Hepatatis-C as a child, but it took this long to finally catch up with her. She fought the good fight, and now is at peace.

Rest well, Tawn ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:57 PM PST [link]

A Legitimate Exception

I have pretty strong opinions when it comes to the increasingly large problem we have with illegal immigration in this country. Unlike so many of my countrymen, I can still tell the difference between legal and illegal immigration, and while I support streamlining the process to accept legal immigrants, I also support strong enforcement of our existing policies - including the exportation of those who have chosen to come here illegally.

To me, it doesn't really matter what you've done in this country if you chose to cross the border illegally. I don't care how hard you've worked, or how many children you've had, or how fully you've integrated yourself into American culture or how dependant you've become on your morning Starbucks fix - if you're here illegally, that fact can trump all the others.

But that doesn't mean it should do so automatically. As wrong as it is for some to insist that illegal immigrants have some kind of "right" to be here, it is also wrong for others to demand that every single one should be rounded up and immediately deported. Sometimes, it's going to require a case-by-case review.

A perfect candidate for such a review are the families of solders serving in the military. We are willing to let non-citizen immigrants serve - and sometimes, die - in the military. Possessing nothing more than a green card - and sometimes even less - we hand them a rifle and send them to God knows where to defend our country. Yet the families of these same solders can be deported while he serves overseas.

I'm not going to defend the idea of someone who is here legally, but temporarily, bringing their families to the country illegally, but I understand it. Service in the military has always been a fast-track to citizenship - and damned well should be! - and they hope to extend that permanent status to their families as well. The fact that the family is here illegally can't be changed, nor should it. But anyone who is willing to take a bullet for me has earned the right to at least have his case reviewed.

We as a country allowed illegal immigration to fester for generations, and we cannot fix it overnight. We must fix the problem, without a doubt, both by locking down our borders and streamlining our existing legal immigration processes. But we must do so with thought, intelligence, leadership and compassion. After all, when your front door mat says, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free" you create one hell of an obligation to those who accept the invitation - even if they snuck in through the unlocked side door.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:36 AM PST [link]

Hell, Even I'm Starting To Feel Sorry For Her ...

Here at the MB, we've picked on Britney Spears as much as anyone (OK, maybe not anyone ...). But fun is fun, and life is life - and sometimes, life intrudes in the fun. Yesterday, the trainwreck that is Ms. Spears' life hit the wall, as an LA judge ordered her to give up custody of her two children.

Remember the good old days, when everyone saw Kevin Federline - the ex-Mr. Spears - as the golddigging screwup? How bad must you screw up to make him look like the sane choice as a parent? But that's exactly what she's done, and now Federline will receive full physical (although not legal) custody of the children until further notice.

In addition to ordering the twice-weekly drug tests, Gordon ordered Spears to spend eight hours per week working with a "parenting coach," who was to observe her interactions with her children.

Gordon also told both parents to avoid alcohol or "other non-prescription controlled substances" 12 hours before taking custody of the children.

He also barred the exes from making "derogatory remarks about the other party and the other party's family or significant other" during the case.

And he ordered the parents to go through "joint co-parenting counseling" and barred them from using corporal punishment on the boys.

For those of you tempted to feel too bad for the one-time pop princess, let's recap ...

After filing for divorce in November 2006, Spears was frequently seen enjoying Hollywood nightlife, often in the company of "celebutante" Paris Hilton. Her behavior became increasingly erratic; in February 2007, she shaved her head as paparazzi looked on, then spent a month in rehab.

The partying apparently never ceased, and neither did the reports of bad behavior. Perhaps most notable was a story from the usually celebrity-friendly OK! magazine describing a daylong photo shoot in which Spears wiped grease on a designer dress, watched her Yorkshire terrier puppy defecate on a $6,700 designer gown and walked off with more than $14,000 in apparel.

After her September 9 "comeback" performance on the MTV Video Music Awards, critics derided her singing and dancing as lackluster and said she appeared overweight in her sequined two-piece costume.

Her former divorce lawyer, Laura Wasser, resigned last month as her legal representative after telling reporters the singer "just wants to be a mom."

Spears' management company, the Firm, recently quit after representing the singer for little over a month.

And on September 21, she was charged with misdemeanor counts of hit and run and driving without a valid license after she allegedly smashed her car into another in a parking lot in August. Officials from the Department of Motor Vehicles said Spears applied for a California driver's license but did not complete the process.

So now the question becomes, "is this the bottom?" Does she take the cure, or does she end up living under an overpass sobbing and drooling? Only time will tell ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 09:41 AM PST [link]

A Match Made Somewhere Other Than Heaven ...

In the perverse world that is celebrity, every once in a while you see something that is so twisted that it manages to stand out even from that taudry backdrop. This is one of those times.

Pam Anderson and Rick Salomen applied for a wedding license in Vegas over the weekend ...

Just in case you don't remember ...

Anderson, 40, has been previously married to singer Kid Rock and Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee.

Salomon, 38, is best-known for making a sex videotape with his then-girlfriend Paris Hilton and was previously married to actress Shannen Doherty.

Somehow, it seems strangely appropriate that the star of one of the original celebrity sex tapes would hook up with the guy who shot the most famous one.

No doubt the honeymoon will be pay-per-view ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:24 AM PST [link]