Surfacing Momentarily For Air

My job is nuts these days.

I'm a lead process developer on a software project. My job is to take a commercial web-based software package and, working with the software vendor, a team of coders, and my user community, bash the sucker into something that will work in the factory. It's a challenge, and these days, it's all-encompassing of my time. Through the magic of the internet, let's travel back and see how the last 24 hours have gone in my life ...

Wednesday, 6:00 AM - I'm teaching a class on our software to a group of pilot users today at 8. It will the the third straight day with a morning class. Normally, I'd get in at 7 to unlock the classroom and fire up the computers, but I was working with my software writers to fix some bugs last night, and now I have to modify all the training shop orders I'll be using in the class - all 24. So I'm in the hoteling center for an hour before heading off to class.

8:00AM - Class starts. This is a lively bunch - I could really use a whip and chair.

9:00AM - My cell phone goes off in the middle of a demonstration. It's on vibrate, so I glance down and see it's my project manager. He knows I'm teaching this morning, so it must be bad ...

9:15AM - Class breaks and I return the call. Our pathfinder effort, which we've been working towards for 6 weeks and is scheduled to start on Thursday morning, has hit the fan. Apparently, the managers in our pilot area - who've been working with us all along - have finally realized we're serious about turning on our software in the morning and have suddenly developed a full-blown panic attack. I send two guys from my team off to hold their hair as they puke ...

10:00AM - Phone goes off again during another key moment in class. They'll just have to wait this time.

11:30AM - Class breaks and I return calls. Everyone's calling everyone else and no one knows what's going on. The project manager calls a meeting for 3 this afternoon to pick up the tattered pieces of our pathfinder.

12PM - Looks like I actually get to eat lunch for a change.

1PM - Telecon with our software vendor in Minnesota. This is an easy meeting, since they've already delivered their software and wiped their hands. If only it worked as advertised ...

2PM - Telecon with our partners in Huntington Beach. They're putting in the same software package as us and are a few months ahead of us. That means we're supposed to be learning from their mistakes, but it doesn't always work that way. Agree to set up an online meeting with one of the HB developers at 4:30.

2:45PM - I end the telecon early so I can head to another building for the emergency meeting.

3:00PM - The team meets to figure out what is really wrong and what is hysteria. Turns out another software project - one to bring a unified, information-rich screensaver to every computer in the factory - blew through the area where our pathfinder is to start. The management assumed they were from our team, and when the installation techs pissed off the managers they blamed us. Communication is clearly an overrated skill ...

4:30PM - I'm still in the pathfinder meeting, but receiving "where are you" emails from the HB developer. I tell him to keep his shorts on; I'll be ready by 5.

5:00PM - Start telecon / WebEx session with HB developer. I'm now back over in the hotelling center where I started the day - my fourth different work location today. Thank god for mobility ...

5:30PM - Crashed the application server. Fortunately, my IT guy was still on site to restart it ...

6:00PM - Still working with HB when I get a meeting notice from my project manager. He's negotatied a truce with the pathfinder group, but we'll need to meet with them first thing tomorrow morning - first thing being 5AM. Not sure which irritates me more ... being sent a meeting notice for a 5AM meeting at 6PM by someone who assumes I'll still be checking my email, or actually having checked my email to get the notice ...

6:30PM - Finish up with HB and head home. It's gonna be a short evening.

Thursday 5:00AM - I'm back in the factory, this time in our Proof of Concept lab meeting with the pathfinder managers. Good news: I only have to sit through the first two hours of the meeting, which is basically a hand-holding session. Bad news: it's only because I have another class to teach at 8 ...

8:00AM - Class starts, a makeup session for those who missed the first three. All I'd need is an alarm clock and Sonny and Cher singing "I Got You, Babe" and I'd be living Groundhog Day ...


And so it goes. Today will go like yesterday and tomorrow like today, except I have no idea of how it will fill up - I just know it will.

My job is nuts these days.

And I love it ....

Posted by MarlinNut @ 10:30 AM PST [link]

Hey Look - It's The Sports Rant!

Well, the weather outside is frightful - especially for those poor souls watching the Seahawks game in the snow up in Seattle. I have a momentary break from my software project, which makes this the perfect time for a sports rant ...

- This just in ... the Cowboys cut high-priced kicker Mike Vanderjagt and replaced him with Martin Gramatica (of the Dancing Gramaticas ...). Vanderjagt may have the stats that say he's the most accurate kicker in NFL history, but the only stat that counts right now is 13 of 18 - his field goal record this year. A world class flake, he once was dismissed as "an idiot kicker" by Peyton Manning after Vanderjagt tried to explain why he felt the Colts offense wasn't working. The fact that he refused to do kickoffs probably didn't help, either ...

- Remember when the Skins Game was a big deal? It brought together four of golf's biggest names for 18 holes of big money exhibition golf every Thanksgiving. I don't know if it's that the money is so big on the other events, or that there are just so many events, but the SG has lost its luster. It was on this weekend, but I'll bet you didn't see it. Probably the only guy who really cares about it any more is Fred Couples, who they dust off each year so he can come out and add to his career SG money total ...

- If you thought Vince Young's performance against USC in the last quarter of the Rose Bowl was a fluke, just talk to Eli Manning and the Giants. Down 21-0 with less than a quarter remaining, VY led the Titans to three touchdowns to tie the game with only two minutes remaining. When Manning had a brain fart and tossed a stupid interception in the last minute, the Titans stole the game with a last second field goal. Neither are winning a lot of games, but just the fact that both Young and BCS opponent Matt Leinart are starting in the NFL says a lot about the talent level coming out of college these days.

- Baseball released the new Hall of Fame ballot today, and first-time candidates include some big names. Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn are easy first-ballot guys, but then there's Mark McGuire. Sure he hit some great home runs, and he was the first to top Roger Maris. But there's that whole androstendione thing, and the Congressional hearing, and the fact that he's the first of the so-called steroid class to come up for voting. It should be interesting ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:38 PM PST [link]

Mighty Thankful

No matter who you are, you have a lot to be thankful for in life. Some of us have better lives than others, and different perspectives on life, but the one common thread is that we all should be thankful.

I'm no different. I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm 47 years old, and both of my parents are still alive and in relatively good health. I've had very little tragedy in my life, and have never been touched by the death of someone close to me. I'm in good health myself, and have a pretty good life. I have a roof over my head, and a job I enjoy - even if it's gonna make me work three and a half of the four days of the Thanksgiving holiday. Still looking for that right person to share it with, but I'm thankful that I can still see that in an optimistic fashion ...

I get pissed off every once in a while at some of our countries policies, but I'm thankful that I can view America from the inside and not the outside. After all, I could be one of those poor folks trying to cross the border into America in the hopes of a better life for their family back home, or walking the streets of Sadr City looking for a Starbucks ...

I'm thankful for those who have much who take a moment to remember those who do not. Across America today, groups of people will be serving Thanksgiving dinner to those less fortunate, and I think that's a great thing. The American people are seen as selfish and self-centered, and often they are. But they are also wonderfully compassionate, and on days like this it shows.

And of course, I'm thankful for you. Anyone who takes time from their busy lives to read these meager words deserves my thanks. This website has always been a labor of love, and anytime someone takes the time to post a message at the forums or send an email or add a comment to the blog, it reminds me that in some little way I'm impacting someone else. So thank you.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:26 AM PST [link]

Pop Goes The Career

By now, you've no doubt seen Michael Richard's racist rant delivered last Friday at the Laugh Factory here in LA (if you haven't, here you go ...). Last night he appeared on Letterman via satellite, but his lame attempt at justification probably only made things worse.

Hecklers are a way of life for the stand-up comic, and how they deal with them is often the mark of a true professional. Turn the insult back on them, make them feel like crap for trying to insert themselves in your act, but never alienate your audience. I have no idea what drove Richards to think shouting the N-word at a couple of black hecklers would demonstrate any of those traits, but if attention is what he wanted, well he got it. I can remember when Richards first came to fame in the early 80s as part of the SNL knockoff Fridays! on ABC ... now I can say I'll remember the end of his career as well.

Richards will get bitch-slapped in the press for the next few days much as Mel Gibson was a few months back after his anti-Semitic DUI stop. All the talking heads will get their 15 minutes, YouTube stock will rise once again, and it'll be over. A month from now, all will be as it was.

I'm not black, and I won't pretend to understand how it must feel to be part of a once-oppressed race. But here's what worries me: it's just a word. Yes, it it was uttered with ugly, hateful intent, but it's just a word. Single out Richards as the ignornant racist he is, but don't give the word credit - or power. When you do, you give people like that the ability to use that word and all those like it to divide us as easy as a wolf culling a herd. And if we continue to allow that to happen, how can we ever hope to truly live as color-blind equals.

It's just a word - don't give it any more credit than it deserves.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:20 PM PST [link]

That Sound You Hear Is Me Drowning ...

Sharp-eyed readers will notice that it's been a few days since my last entry. It's not due to a lack of topics to talk about, or desire to do so - it's just a matter of time.

I'm a software process developer at Boeing, and the project I've been on for the last year has entered the critical rollout phase. Starting the day after Thanksgiving, we'll have real users on the system for the first time as a pathfinder for the rest of the factory. Naturally, there are about a million little details that need resolution before that can happen. I'm working with our programmers to hammer out the last fixes to the code, while organizing our acceptance and load testing effort. In addition, as the guy who knows the software best, I'm responsible for training our pathfinder users, and I'm way behind on my training materials. I'm busier than the proverbial one-armed paper hanger.

So I apologize to our regular readers - both of you ... Hopefully what I lack in quantity during the next few weeks I'll make up for in quality. At least, that's the plan ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:26 AM PST [link]

Anyone Have Some Good News To Share??

As a blogger, I look to the world around me for inspiration for these entries. Inevitably, there are things I see that I want to talk about - usually, the hardest part is paring down the list. Lately, though, it seems as though the only headlines out there are negative. Take a look at a list of items from CNN.com today:

U.S. military: American contractors abducted in Iraq

Foley sex scandal focus of criminal investigation

Model dies of anorexia complications

Of course, there are some truly important stories as well:

Is Jessica Simpson interested in Tony Romo?

Lines grow for launch of PlayStation 3

O.J.'s latest: 'If I Did It'

Can you imagine if we had to use our media as the measuring stick of our society? Imagine a race of superbeings orbiting the planet as we speak, looking at the media to determine whether we deserve an opportunity to grow or should simply be snuffed out of existence. I don't think we'd have much of a chance.

I'm so depressed ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:30 PM PST [link]

Good Day To Be An Ex-Marlins Manager

Major League Baseball announced their Managers of the Year for the recently completed season today, and it was no surprise to see the awards go to a pair of former Florida Marlins managers, Jim Leyland and Joe Girardi. Leyland, who led the Marlins to their first World Series victory in 1997, received his award for guiding the Detroit Tigers to the American League pennant only three years removed from a season in which they lead the majors in losses. But it was the recognition of Girardi, the first-year manager who was fired in spite of keeping the rookie-laden Marlins in the playoff chase until the last week of the season, that will receive the most attention. Asked if he felt the award represented vindication, Joe showed that while he may have moved on, he still hasn't fully let go ...

"I don't know if vindication is a good word, just because as a manager, you want to manage ... it's nice that people who watch the game every day understood what we accomplished," Girardi said, adding he wasn't particularly surprised to win. "We had a lot of good things happen."

Knowing this day would come, the Marlins organization bit their tongue and tried to be gracious.

"We are pleased for Joe and we wish him well," the team said.

The rift between the upper management and their field boss clearly impacted Girardi's chances at another managerial job, at least in the short term. Despite several interviews for open positions, Joe will be returning to the YES Network as a Yankee broadcaster. He was quick to point out that his contract has an escape clause, should the right job present itself ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:32 PM PST [link]

Things That Make You Go ... Ewwww!

I know what you're thinking ... "Not another celebrity blog entry!" I assure you, gentle reader, this is investigative reporting of the finest kind in the Geraldo Rivera tradition ...

A couple of Fridays back, Cindy Margolis was our Weekend Eye Candy. At the time, we mentioned that her Playboy spread was on the newsstands, and now she's out doing the obligatory publicity tour.

The caravan brought her to the Big Apple last week for a mag signing session. Now, I understand that they squeeze a lot of events into a small amount of time, and that accidents happen and all. But if you spilled something all down the front of your dress, don't you think you'd make time to change it?

Apparently, not Cindy. I've seen at least a half dozen pics from this event, and in each one the front of her dress has a huge stain on it. Click on the pic to see it close up - it runs from about nipple-high on both sides down the front to a couple inches above the hem over her left thigh. Your guess is as good as mine as to what it is. Champagne catfight with the Girls Next Door in the limo ride over? Bilateral silicone leakage? Something even less seemly? Just don't know. What I do know is that if she had any clue it was there, she should have shunned the photogs. Of course, maybe Playboy has slid so far down the food chain that the idea of their models running around half-naked in stained clothing is nothing new ... ewww!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:02 PM PST [link]

Maybe She Hasn't Bottomed Out After All ...

Last week, we talked about Britney Spears' decision to file for divorce, and shared our hope that perhaps she'd had her moment of clarity and was on the road to recovery of her life and career. Well, maybe not ...

Let's pretend you've been in a coma for the last five years, and awake with no knowledge of what she's been up to in her life. No marriage(s), no kids, no sloppy junk food binges. To you, she's still the teen pop queen singing, "Hit me baby, one more time."

You see this picture of Brit taken yesterday as she continues her "I'm free!" tour, and decide to play the kid's game "What's Wrong With This Picture?" Click on the image to play along at home:

- It's November 12th, but she's wearing a Santa hat. Bonus points if you notice she's wearing it over some kind of ballcap.

- It's night, but she's wearing sunglasses. How Corey Hart ...

- Her left boob, sensing a paparazzi moment, has escaped her blue metallic bra and is on the lam, headed, no doubt, for her knees.

- Most celebutants carry a Sidekick or Crackberry in their hands (because their purses are too small for both the drugs and the phone). Britney, however, has singles and what appears to be a Snickers bar. Of course, it could be a Milky Way ...

- Since she has her money in her hand, we'll assume that the item over her shoulder isn't a purse and is in fact a feedbag.

I could go on about the liposuctioned tummy, the skirt, the fishnets, but why - it's just piling on.

And the freefall continues ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:45 PM PST [link]

Here Comes The Sports Rant ...

Football ramps up, basketball warms up, and didn't there used to be hockey?

- What does it say about a team's defense when your QB throws for 400 yards and 3 TDs and you still lose? The Cinncinnati Bengals have had their share of problems this season, and for a while yesterday it looked like they'd straightened them out - at least on one side of the ball. Unfortunately for Carson Palmer and Co., their defense was shredded by Philip Rivers and LaDanian Tomlinson, with LT going for 4 scores. Looks like the Bolts are for real, and the Bengals are in real trouble ...

- Shortstop Hanley Ramirez of the Marlins has won the NL Rookie of the Year award, it was announced today. Personally, I'd have rather seen it go to Dan Uggla, who earlier won the ROY award given by his fellow players, but votes taken from Ramirez would have given the award to Ryan Zimmerman of the Nationals, so I'll just shut up and be happy. Worth noting is that 6 of the 12 rookies receiving votes for the award were on the Marlins. I think that says something bad and good, all at the same time ...

- When Tiger Woods skipped the PGA's season-ending Tour Championship folks grumbled, but most gave him a pass. After all, it had been a tough season for Eldrick, what with the streak and the loss of his father and all. He'd earned a rest. Then we see him teeing it up in Japan only a week later, with plans to head to Dubai next. WTF??? I know Woods is bigger than any golfer in the world, and takes pride in competing anywhere on the globe. But you don't skip your home tour's championship then run around the world collecting appearance checks! When the US got its ass kicked in the recent Ryder Cup matches, it was said that American golfers aren't hungry, just greedy. This does nothing to dispel that thought ...

- I don't know what god Pete Carroll prays to, but that is one benevolent deity! Wasn't it just a few weeks back that USC ended a lackluster first half of the season with a loss to Oregon State that drove a stake through the heart of any chance to once again play for the crystal football? Surprise! After dominating wins over Stanford and Oregon and shocking losses to half the teams in the Top 10, USC finds itself in the driver's seat for the BCS at #3. With #1 Ohio State set to play #2 Michigan next weekend, all SC has to do is run the table to practically guarantee a third consecutive trip to the championship game. Not bad for a team that is supposed to be rebuilding. Just ask Bobby Bowden about what that's like ...

- By far, my favorite sport has always been Unlimited Hydroplane racing. Think F-16's at ground level, or Indy Cars on water. A sport with nearly a century of tradition, unlimiteds fell on hard times in the '90s as the sponsorship money dried up. The death of Bernie Little, owner of the legendary Miss Budweiser hydro, nearly sealed the sport's fate. But I'm happy to report that new ownership and a new sanctioning body has breathed life into the old girl. A few weeks back, the season ended with the traditional final race on the saltwater course in Mission Bay, and the thrill is back! The ABRA will be running a full series again next year, and if you get a chance to watch these monsters roar, I highly encourage it!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:37 PM PST [link]

Shut My Mouth - It's Weekend Eye Candy!

This has been a tough year for country music fans, what with Sara Evans' divorce and Keith Urban's rehab and the demise of the only country radio station in Los Angeles. The bright spots have been few and far between.

Thank heavens for little girls. Like pop music a few years back, a new crop of young performers are moving to the fore in country music. And unlike most of their bubble gum pop counterparts, these ones have talent. All you had to do was watch the Country Music Academy awards earlier this week to see that. High point of the evening was Carrie Underwood, who has moved from her American Idol win to take on - and conquer - those who scoffed at her desire to make it in country music.

Not only did Carrie win the Horizon Award, given to the best "up and coming" artist, but she won the prestigious Best Female Vocalist over an impressive group that included Evans, Martina McBride, Faith Hill and Gretchen Wilson. Now, many will believe that Hill provided the most memorable moment of the evening with her "joke" reaction to the announcement ... well, at least she says it was a joke. Others will say it was the emotional reaction by Underwood to her award. Nope. It was the newly-sexed-up Carrie and the short skirt she wore during her performance of "Before He Cheats". So now she can add one more award to her collection ... "MarlinBlog Weekend Eye Candy: ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:39 PM PST [link]

Someone Who Actually Gets It!

There was a point in time when people actually cared about each other, and service meant something to a business. Those days are long gone, of course, with concern over doing a good job replaced with an artificial "have a nice day" as you are shuffled out the door. Once in a while, though, you see signs that not all is lost.

One of the advantages of working on a web-based software project is that I can do my job from anywhere I can access a data line and a steady stream of strong coffee. The S50 Hoteling Center in El Segundo is usually a good choice, but this morning a lot of people were already there, and they were particularly noisy. Unable to concentrate, I decided to drive over to my physical office a few miles away. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I heard a strange noise from the back of the car. Stopping to take a look, my fear was confirmed - flat left rear tire.

I changed the tire, putting the pathetic little donut in its place, and limped home. Fortunately, the Home Office has all I need to work as well but before I could get back to the software, I needed to fix the tire. I drove slowly over to Allen Tire on Hawthorne Blvd, where I had purchased the tires last year. There was at least a dozen cars in various states of repair when I arrived, so it looked like I'd be spending my afternoon in their waiting room. Wrong.

Once I explained that I had a tire in the trunk with a panhead screw sticking through the tred, the shop's manager, Ed, sent one his guys over to get the tire. Within 15 minutes, they'd fixed the flat, rebalanced the tire and had it ready for me to go. I asked Ed what I owed him - "Nothing", he replied - they fix flats for free! He even had the tire reinstalled on the car.

What could have been a long afternoon was little more than an extended lunch break, and I was able to get back to work. It's sad that what should be normal behavior now seems above and beyond, but I wanted to highlight this positive example of how things should work. Again, this was Allen Tire Company on Hawthorne Blvd in Torrance. Tell them I sent you, and they'll only charge you double ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:24 PM PST [link]

Winds of Change

Politicians like to talk about voters giving them a "mandate". Tuesday, voters sent the Republican leadership something different - a "message". Confirming the worst fears of party leadership, the Democrats have taken control of the House of Representatives and are perched to assume leadership in the Senate as well. The polls said voters were looking for a change of direction; the results insure they will get their wish.

There will be much hand-wringing amongst Republican strategists in upcoming weeks, but they have no one but themselves to blame. In 1994, Republicans took control of Congress lead by Newt Gingrich and the "Contract with America". They were hungry change agents who hit the ground running to reverse the policies of forty years of Democratic congressional leadership. Twelve years later, the Republicans are bloated bureaucrats, unable or unwilling to listen to the slightest will of the people. Whether driven by pride, policy or pigheadedness, the party - and their presidential leader - have ignored the increasing gulf between their direction and the desires of the electorate. Instead of re-evaluating policies, they chose the rigid "stay the course" tact - leaving the voters only one method of making their voices heard. Of course, the pathetic string of Republican politicians driven from office by scandal certainly didn't help.

So now, the Democrats will once again hold the reins of power. The next two years will doubtless be spent trying to "un-Republican" the government as they do all they can to look different than those they replaced. The Republican party must regroup quickly and try to undo some of the self-inflicted damage they've done to the perception of the GOP. Otherwise, the most they can hope for in 2006 is good seats at the inauguration of the next President Clinton ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 08:58 AM PST [link]

Like, We Didn't See THAT Coming!

I always figured someday someone would kick Don Rumsfeld's smug ass. I just never thought it'd be a 66-yr-old grandmother from San Francisco. But when Rep. Nancy Pelosi takes over the House and starts sending out the subpoenas, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld won't be there to be served. Earlier today, in an obviously pre-arranged set of events, Rumsfeld stepped down from his post. His replacement, former CIA chief Robert Gates, was named shortly later.

No matter how you feel about Iraq, it's clear the campaign isn't going well. There's no exit strategy, no clear goals, no progress ... no perceptible plan. The polls showed that Iraq would play a role in the elections yesterday, and they clearly did. The White House certainly realized that once the Democrats controlled the Congress, there would be calls for hearings into the Iraq strategy, so the plans were set in motion for the replacement of Rumsfeld. Tossing Don under the bus gives Bush the plausible deniability he seeks, and serves as an olive branch for the incoming Congress. As for Rummy, I'm sure he looked at what the next 24 months would be like and the prospect of spending all his time in hearing rooms and thought, "I'm too old for this shit".

Gates will face his own hearings when his nomination is considered by the Senate. He will certainly be grilled for a plan, and that plan will be extensively debated. In the end, though, that's probably a good thing, as things can't possibly get worse in Iraq (knock wood). And Rumsfeld will fade away, secure in the knowledge that his name will be inseparably linked with Iraq in much the same way Robert McNamara was linked with Viet Nam.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:21 PM PST [link]

Like We Didn't See That Coming ...

There was a time when Britney Spears was at the very pinnacle of the pop music world. With her tight tops, short skirts and racy lyrics, she personified the "schoolgirl-gone-bad" fantasy perfectly. Record sales were out of sight, and she could seemingly do no wrong.

Then came 2004. Even faster than she rose, she plummeted. The press had a field day with her series of missteps:

- Vegas wedding to childhood friend; annulled after 55 hours.

- Marries backup dancer Kevin Federline, who has two children with another woman, the last born two months before marrying Spears.

- Gets pregnant; son born.

- Gets fat.

- Gets pregnant again; daughter born days short of son's first birthday.

- Watches Federline's attempt to become rap star fizzle; record called worst ever by many critics.

- Gets fatter while other pop stars thrive.

"She went from being a pop icon to an emblem of white trash in a matter of two years," said veteran publicist Michael Levine.

There is a point in any form of abuse where you've had enough - drunks call it "bottoming out". Apparently, the sight of K-Fed spending her cash and the repeated tabloid headlines served as Britney's bottom. Rumors had floated that she'd hired a trainer to whip her back into shape, and that she was eying a comeback. Then came the twin shocks of her unannounced appearance on Letterman to show off the rehabbed body followed by yesterday's announcement that she was filing for divorce from Federline.

Frankly, I can forgive Britney for doing stupid things. Heck, she's only 24. What worries me more is her position as a poster child for the new trend of children as some kind of fashion accessory. Remember the good old days - when you married for love, then had kids? If it didn't work out, you sucked it up and took one for team, staying together "for the kids"? Now it seems having children is something rich folks do because they're bored or interested in the thought for a moment, without any real regard for the future. Whether spitting out two in a year like Spears, or buying them offshore like Madonna or Jolie, you have to wonder what kind of adults these kids will become. And remember - they'll be running the world when rocking in the old folks home ...

UPDATE: Federline, who goes by his "gangsta" nickname of "K-Fed" is being called "Fed-Ex" in the media now ... hilarious!

Posted by MarlinNut @ 12:47 PM PST [link]

Get Out And Vote!

It's a cliche' but it's true - there is no greater privilege nor greater responsibility of citizenship than voting for your own leaders. Yes, I know it might seem pointless when there's nobody running that you want to see lead, but hey - it's your duty.

We have a full slate of elections here in California, from governor and senator down to local offices. Then there's the famous slate of California ballot initiatives - something we're quickly becoming famous for.

Personally, I'm voting for the Governator. He's done a surprisingly good job in the three years since the recall election, and I believe he's earned a full term. More than that, though, he's done something that no other politician seems to be able to do these days - find the middle ground. Like a lot of us, he leans to the right for financial, security and immigration issues, while tilting the other way for social concerns. He's not afraid to say what he thinks, nor afraid to admit when he makes a mistake (remember the ballot initiatives last year?). His recovery from that debacle shows what I consider to be true leadership. He tried to do what he believed the people wanted him to do until they demonstrated with their votes that he was wrong. So he changed course to reflect the will of the people - when's the last time you saw a politican do that? I respect his sincerity, and believe he is a man of character, and these days that's a rare thing.

I could go on about the whole bucket of propositions, but at this point, I'm just glad I won't have to see any more commercials about them ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 07:37 AM PST [link]

Maybe He Just Missed His Cellmate?

One of the great things about the Information Age is that those little local stories that might have raised a few tittering giggles on the local news can get blasted around the world on the internet and take on a life of their own. This is one of those stories.

Normally, I try to paraphrase news items and add my own little snarky spin. But nothing I could do could make this any better than the truth, so here's the whole thing, courtesy of Yahoo.com:

EL CERRITO, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.

The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.

"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said.

Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.

Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.

"When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon. That's a stabbing instrument," Horgan said.

It was not immediately clear what Sheehan was on parole for. A person answering the phone at the jail Friday night did not know whether Sheehan had a lawyer.

And you wonder how all those initiatives touting longer prison sentences end up on the ballot ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 04:47 PM PST [link]

Arrrr ... This Be The Sports Rant ...

Sorry ... I think I'm having a Pesky flashback. That or some bad chili ...

- The bodyswitching between the Colts' Peyton Manning and the Pats' Tom Brady appears to be complete, if last night is any indication. Manning was efficient, calm and relaxed as he marched the offense down the frozen field at will. Brady, on the other hand, looked stiff and tight as he threw four picks. The pundits claim that all you need is Brady and Belichick, and who the receivers are doesn't really matter. But twice last night Brady tried to stick the ball somewhere it wouldn't fit, and each time he got tipped and intercepted. That's a sure sign of someone trying too hard to make something happen. Remember, fellas - no matter how good your stars are, it's still a team sport.

- The basketball season has tipped off, and done so in a relatively quiet fashion. I smiled when Shaq and the Heat got bitchslapped by Chicago after their ring ceremony on Opening Night; you gotta look up from those rings, guys. The Lakers looked pretty good for three games, but last night the Sonics showed the rest of the league where the weaknesses are. Should make for an interesting season, though.

- Did anyone else notice that the Anaheim Ducks are undefeated after the first fourteen games of the season? I guess all they had to do was drop the "Mighty" moniker to finally live up to it. And then there's the Kings ... ugh!

- With all the talk about his off-field antics and his bitching about not getting enough throws his way, has anyone else noticed that no one drops as many easy passes as Terrell Owens? He ham-fisted what would have been a game-winner again Sunday ...

- Lance Armstrong was the toughest guy on the block when it came to the Tour de France, but a lot of people turned their noses when he decided to run the New York Marathon without having ever completed a run of over 20 miles. When he publicly declared his goal to be a sub-three hour finish, people laughed. It damned near killed him, but LA finished the marathon yesterday - 30 seconds under three hours. Props for being man enough to acknowledge just how hard it really was ...

- Oh, great. Having conquered everything else in the golfing world, Tiger Woods has decided to start a course design business. Can't wait to watch him try to "Tiger-proof" a track the way his fellow architects do ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 04:36 PM PST [link]

Eye Candy - Internet Edition

Playboy Magazine isn't what it once was. Much like its graying founder, the magazine has lost its edge, choosing to fill its pages with silicone-injected stripper wannabes rather than the "girl-next-door" types of its earlier years. The times when you looked forward to the next issue have long since passed.

That doesn't mean that every once in a while, they can't use the reputation to score something special. Cindy Margolis was the internet's very first wet dream. Back when the web was being driven by nothing more than porn and geeks, Cindy's PG-rated site made her the Internet's most downloaded woman (certified by Guiness!). She's long been pursued by Playboy, but waited until her 40th birthday to finally give it up.

You know what? Now is the time. If I had done it in the past, it would have been for gratuitious reasons or money or to help my career. And I don't need any of that now."

In interview in CNN, she said she'd worked out like a madwoman before the shoot, and it shows. Of course, we're a G-rated site (OK, maybe PG-13), so this is all we can show you. Like Cindy, SCMO is an internet icon, having survived for over 10 years. So today, one internet tradition salutes another.

If you need to see more, remember to click on Cindy. If you need more than that (nudge-nudge, wink-wink), pick up the December issue of Playboy Magazine, on sale now.

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:00 AM PST [link]

JuryBlog

I spent the day yesterday doing my part for civic obedience by serving as a juror for the Los Angeles Superior Court system. To keep myself from going crazy and to pass at least some of the time, I kept a running log of the day's events on my PDA ...


7:20 - Glad I got an early start - traffic is horrid on 110. How do people do this every day?

7:50 - Good news: parking is free. Bad news: the lot is a mile from the courthouse!

8:15 - Found the jury room on the 11th floor. Even the folks who run it comment on the large number of jurors today - not a good sign ...

8:35 - Jury room is spartan - no TV, a few old magazines and books (among the choices: Oprah Magazine & Good Housekeeping Cookbook). SRO - every seat is taken. It's worse than the middle seat on a cross-country flight - at least there, you can stare out the windows ...

9:20 - Spent last half-hour going over jury instructions in excruciating detail. If we don't get assigned to a court, we'll be here until at least 4PM - ouch! I need a break - think I'll see if the snack bar on 13 (yes, they have a 13th floor) has newspapers (Update - they do!).

9:35 - Big pastime for jurors (particularly the 20-somethings) is text messaging. Just realized my new phone won't TM - not like there was anyone for me to send it to ...

10:00 - If you assume this is really a representative cross-section of Los Angeles County, a couple of things come to mind. First, the idea that there is a white majority in LA is a myth. Looking around the room, I'd guess Caucasians make up about a third. Lots of hispanics - probably half. Remainder black or oriential. Only 10 percent of the jurors dress like professionals (and I'm counting myself in this bunch), but 25% have Crackberries. Common thread - we all bore quickly.

10:20 - Still no calls for juries - yawn ...

11:00 - It's clear the AC in this room wasn't designed for this many bodies. Temp up, humidity up.

11:20 - First panel call of day ... damn - they get to go to lunch now!

11:25 - Boy, I'd like to catch the bastard at Palm who decided Grafitti 2 was a better input language than the original Grafitti. I'm wearing my hand out, and half of it gets read wrong!

11:40 - Here comes panel #2 ... missed again. No long lunch for me.

12:00 - Released for lunch. I don't want to hike back my car, so I think I'll just wander around downtown. Maybe I can find some real live winos ...

12:15 - Living in the South Bay and not being much of a culture lover, I've never spent any time downtown. Pretty cool seeing all the sights - Disney Hall, the new Cathedral, Music Center, Mark Taper Forum. I feel like a tourist in my own town ...

12:35 - Don't bother looking for a "Push to Walk" button in Downtown LA. It's clear that the cars rule the roost. You walk when the system says to, and you'd better do it quickly. Where was the only "walk" button I saw? - the crosswalk at the front door to City Hall.

1:00 - Back in the Jury room. Man, do my dogs hurt!

1:30 - The afternoon session starts. 3 hrs to go - do I feel lucky?

1:50 - It really is amazing to see how patient my fellow jurors are. We'd all rather be somewhere else, but everyone accepts their fate with quiet grace. Why can't they do the same thing with traffic jams?

2:05 - Pool #3 - no love once again.

2:30 - We're in Hour 7 here at JuryWatch. You'd like to think that by this time, they'd have any jurors they'd need. The fear now is that I'll get called for a jury that doesn't report until tomorrow ...

2:55 - Here's a thought ... take the pittance we get paid for jury duty and instead put it towards better conditions for jurors. Better seats,a couple of big screens, and a wireless hot spot would be a start. Then go for snacks & drinks, and maybe a choice of movies. Hell, this is LA - how 'bout using the captive audience for preview screenings of all those TV pilots that never make it on the air anyway.

3:10 - Here comes another panel. This one'll get me ... missed again!

3:55 - Jury call. You gotta be kidding - they're pulling jurors for a 30-day trial - and they know I have unlimited jury coverage at Boeing ...

3:56 - Psyche! It's the release call - I'm outta here!


A very long day of sitting on my ass and watching others head off to courtrooms. I guess I can't complain, because today I'm going back to work while all those who got called are going back to court. The new "1 day, 1 trial" system is certainly better than the old "2 week" method, but they really have got to do something to make it better for the jurors who are waiting ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 05:27 AM PST [link]

Doing My Civic Duty

We're going to have a change in the routine at the Home Office today, as I've been summoned for jury duty. It took three days, but LA's "one day / one trial" system finally called my name for Wednesday, and I'm off to the downtown Criminal Courts Building. Of course, now it's called the "Clara Shortridge Foltz Criminal Justice Building". I have no idea who Clara Shortridge Foltz is, or why she would prefer "justice" to "courts". I suppose it's more politically correct ... lovely. I certainly want to do my part, but I'm really hoping my part is short ...

UPDATE: Curiosity got my cat, so I checked up on Clara in Wikipedia ... she was "the first woman to practice law in California, a crusader for women’s voting rights, and a founder of the modern public defender system." As I thought ... politically correct ...

Posted by MarlinNut @ 06:35 AM PST [link]