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Posts tagged ‘huh?’

Apparently, Stupid Really Is As It Does …

It’s been awhile since I’ve beaten up any of the pop twits that dominate the gossip blogs these days … too long, it would appear, as they seem to be on the rise.

It’s winter time, and other than a roaring fire, there’s nothing more most men would like to see than hot chicks in bikinis. Hence, most of the more salacious blogs are running paparazzi shots of various starlets as they frolic away their winter in Cabo or Cairns or the Caribbean. There’s one spread, however, that’s getting press for more than just what the subject is wearing.

That'll look sweet around the trailer park pool ...

That'll look sweet around the trailer park pool ...

Once upon a time, Miley Cyrus was the princess of the Disney empire. Her “Hannah Montana” gig was at the top of the ratings, and her concert tour – in blonde-wigged character – was sold out. But for the last year or so, Cyrus has struggled under the Mouse thumb, and continues to push the limits. Her latest “decision” is illustrated at left, just below that bump below her iPhone – yup, it’s a tattoo. Specifically, it’s the words, “Just Breathe” inked below her left breast. Lovely – and quite a statement for all her little fans.

I personally think tattoos are silly, but if you want one, by all means get one – once you legally can. In this state, you have to be 18 to get inked, which means that Miley – who just recently turned 17 – had the blessing and permission of her parents. What the hell, Billy Ray! I understand that she’s the money machine in the family, but last time I checked, you’re still her father – how about a little parenting, big guy?

Personally, I’m a little curious just what’s the meaning behind the message. Her publicist put out some puke about it being a tribute to a fan with cystic fibrosis – insulting both to any CF patients as well as those of us with half a brain. To me, tattoos are statements – something you want others to see and interpret. Some are obvious, such as tributes to parents or children, or pledges of allegiance to country or military service. And, of course, girls with tramp stamps are simply providing a little visual entertainment for whoever next mounts them from behind. But I’m not sure what this all about – gonna assume she’s conquered the whole breathing thing already, and it’s not like she can even read it where it is.

Of course, we should look on the bright side – at least it’s not misspelled … ūüėČ

Tempest In A Typeface?

As a web designer, I appreciate the value of solid, crisp design. Few things irritate me more than a lazy attempt to slap together something, whether it is in print or web format. I have even been accused of being a bit anal when it comes to getting it just right, but even I scratch my head at the way some people are get worked up over relatively minor changes.

Take, for example, IKEA. The largest exporter of items from Sweden, they’ve become one of the world’s iconic brands, so it’s understandable that if they choose to implement change it might be newsworthy. They’re making a change, alright, and it’s getting a lot of news, but for all the wrongg reasons. What is this monumental change that has everyone all … ahem, atwitter? Have they given up on European design? Are they abandoning the big blue and yellow stores? Did they discontinue the beloved Billy bookcases? Nope … they’re changing their font from Futura to Verdana

“Ikea, stop the Verdana madness!” pleaded Tokyo’s Oliver Reichenstein on Twitter. “Words can’t describe my disgust,” spat Ben Cristensen of Melbourne. “Horrific,” lamented Christian Hughes in Dublin. The online forum Typophile closed its first post on the subject with the words, “It’s a sad day.” On Aug. 26, Romanian design consultant Marius Ursache started an online petition to get Ikea to change its mind. That night, Verdana was already a trending topic on Twitter, drawing more tweets than even Ted Kennedy.

Now, I know what you’re thinking – hey, it’s just a font, right? And that’s true. But for font purists, it’s a question of correctness. Verdana is an open-license font that was specifically designed for use on the web, at a time when graphics were somewhat limited. In other words, it’s a dumb font, limited in capabilities. But IKEA sees it as universal – not unlike the products they sell – and is somewhat dumbfounded by the reaction.

“I think it’s safe to say we were surprised by the response,” admits IKEA spokeswoman Monica Gocic.

Stay tuned …

What’s The Deal With The Hooker Dress?

You’d think if there was anyone who doesn’t need any more publicity right now it’d be ESPN’s sideline reporter Erin Andrews. ¬†She recently learned the hard way that 1) peephole cameras really do exist and 2) if you threaten to sue every website running a video they claim is you skipping around your hotel room naked, you pretty much confirm it really is you in the video. ¬†Live and learn, I’m sure she’s thinking. ¬†OK, maybe not, but it doesn’t help that she’s now being dragged into a fresh controversy by choosing to attend the recent ESPY Awards in … dum DUM dum … that dress.

I’m not going to pretend that I know much about women’s fashion. ¬†I know what I like, of course, and I know that it’s seldom what they want to wear. ¬†But I’m the last guy you want to ask for advice on how a woman should dress.

There’s one thing I do know about women and fashion, though – that’s it’s a mortal sin to be caught wearing the same dress as someone else. ¬†The magnitude of the crime increases as you rise in social standing, becoming felonious once you reach the celebrity ranks. ¬†It doesn’t matter how nice the dress is, how wonderful it looks on your or how seemingly exclusive it might be. ¬†A celebrity would rather be caught in a burlap sack than have ¬†someone say, “Isn’t that the number I saw (fill in the blank) wearing last week?”

So I was left scratching my head when I saw the same dress popping up over and over on the red carpet in recent months (hey, it’s research, OK?). ¬†At first, I thought I might be imagining things, but then other bloggers noticed it and began to comment as well. ¬†It’s not so much that the same dress keeps reappearing as much as the nature of the dress itself. ¬†How do I describe this tastefully … OK, it’s a hooker dress.

Hmm ... where have I seen that dress before?

Hmm ... where have I seen that dress before?

That's right - it was on Doutzen Kroes ...

That's right - it was on Doutzen Kroes ...

... and that chick from MTV ...

... and that chick from MTV ...

... and that other chick from MTV ...

... and that other chick from MTV ...

... and that Dancing chick ...

... and that Dancing chick ...

... and Heather Graham.  Yum.

... and Heather Graham. Finally - someone who looks like they'd actually have this in their closet. Yum ...

For the record, it’s a “Black Strapless Minidress with Suntan Inserts,” from Herve Leger Spring Collection. Retail price is $1,900, but you can get it for $1393.60 from the kids at Milk in WeHo. Of course, with the rise in relevance of people who shop and dress celebrities, maybe it’s actually the same dress, handed off from one star to another. Hate to pay that dry cleaning bill …

Oh, the decisions women have to make, and knowing there are knuckleheads like me waiting to criticize them can’t help. ¬†All I have to do is make sure I’m zipped up … :-)